Your Third Literary Gift! – 22 Gifts Until Christmas

Here is Your Third Literary Gift on our journey to Christmas day, from me, Andy Zach. Every day in December, from the first to the twenty-fifth I will give you a piece of my writing every day.

My past gifts are: 25 Days to Christmas – 25 Literary Gifts for You and Your Second Literary Gift! – 24 Gifts to Christmas.

Your Third Literary Gift is below!

From my book My Undead Mother-in-law, enjoy this section from chapter three.

Chapter 2 – West Peoria

As soon as he hung up, Sam’s cell phone rang. Noting it was Lisa, he said, “Hi, sweetheart!”

“No time for that romantic crap. We’ve got another zombie turkey outbreak!”

“Where?”

“Not far from you. It’s a small private turkey farm near Gary, Deviled Turkeys. I’ve sent you the address.”

“Odd name.”

“They’re bedeviling the family, who’s surrounded. They called our turkey hotline. I’ve already notified the local authorities and the Indiana National Guard. Get the story, Sam! We’re dying for news here. I may have to cut our staff back again.”

“You’ve got a hot story in your in-basket from Gary already, about the zombie family. I’ve got Dr. Galloway getting DNA samples from them.”

“Great! You always pick me up, Sam.”

“You’re turning into a mushball.”

“You have that effect on me. Now, hurry up and get going!” She hung up.

“Bye, Lisa.” One tradition hadn’t changed since their marriage. She still hung up abruptly, leaving Sam talking into a dead phone.

Travel Interlude

Sam arrived at the Deviled Turkeys farm in the dark winter evening. Sam could see the National Guard trucks and a couple of police cars along the snowy drive to the barnyard. They had distracted the flock of perhaps a thousand turkeys from attacking the house and were now barely holding their own position.

Sam heard the BANG of shotguns, and the pop, pop of rifles and pistols. Why did the police waste their time and ammunition? Those weapons proved ineffective against the zombie turkeys last November.

Grabbing his trusty Flaming Turkey brand flamethrower from the backseat, he approached the line of soldiers.

“Stay away, mister!” an officer yelled over the crackle of gunfire.

Sam noticed he had a skinny neck and a shock of red hair.

“You should have a flamethrower!” Sam yelled back.

“We do! We can’t use them this close to the buildings. There’s a family in there!”

Good thing Lisa isn’t here, Sam thought. During the zombie turkey apocalypse, she’d flamed first and asked questions later.

Another car pulled up in the drive. The officer yelled, “Get away, ma’am! This is a dangerous situation!”

“I’ve come to reason with the turkeys,” Diane Newby yelled back, her red eyes gleaming.

“You can’t reason with crazed killer turkeys!”

“You watch me!” She leapt past the officer, past the line of soldiers, directly toward the mass of turkeys. The soldiers ceased firing, for fear of hitting her. The mass of turkeys washed over Diane like a tsunami. Sam reluctantly filmed her last moments, for her family’s sake.

Dramatic Pause before Your Third Literary Gift Concludes

The mound of turkeys burst apart, revealing Diane throttling a tom. She ripped off its head, legs, and wings and then smashed the body into paste on the ground.

“Listen up, you turkeys!” she yelled. “I’m the boss turkey now! Follow me!” Obediently, the turkeys followed her into the barn. She led them back into their cages and shut them in. Where the turkeys had burst doors and wire fencing, using her bare hands Diane wove the tough steel wire into a tight net, holding them securely. “Good thing I’m handy with macramé,” she said to herself as she wove.

Diane’s clothing was shredded and bloody like she’d been through a wood chipper, but her skin showed pink and unbroken through the many holes in her pants and coat. Sam ran to her.

“Are you OK, Diane?”

“Never felt better! I told you I could reason with the zombie turkeys!”

“How did you find out?”

“It was on the zombie turkey Twitter feed on the Midley Beacon page, where I was reading your story about us!”

“Ma’am, I have to thank you for saving us from a difficult situation,” the officer said. “I’m Sergeant Coxcomb.”

“How appropriate,” Sam murmured. Louder, he said, “I’m Sam Melvin, investigative reporter for the Midley Beacon.”

Smiling broadly, Diane said, “I’m Diane New—er—Sydney. I came here as soon as I heard of the attack. I just knew I could control the zombie turkeys. They’re quite easy, compared to children!” She laughed.

Sam Gets the Story

“Diane, I filmed your battle. Do I have your permission to broadcast it?”

“By all means! Be sure to say a zombie human came to the rescue! Just call me anytime you have a zombie animal outbreak!”

“Will do!”

“I’ll testify to that!” Sergeant Coxcomb said.

“OK, let me interview you then, Sergeant, and I’ll add your testimony.”

The interviews with Sergeant Coxcomb and Diane, combined with the thrilling video of human zombie versus turkey zombies, burst across the internet like a nuclear bomb. Once again, the Midley Beacon plowed new ground in the zombie news business.

Tell me what you think of Your Third Literary Gift

So what’s the verdict? Give me your opinion on my contact page here. Or you can send me an email here: [email protected]. Finally, you can contact me through my newsletter by clicking here. and I’ll give you a free copy of Zombie Turkeys! I give away free copies of my books. Each of the next 22 days of gifts will be in the newsletter.

Are you curious to listen to the audiobook? Click here to listen to a sample.

Or you can just stay at my blog, checking back every day until Christmas.