Tag: zombie turkeys

Your Second Literary Gift from me, author Andy Zach is in this blog post. I gave you your first gift in yesterday’s post, 25 Days to Christmas – 25 Literary Gifts for You. Let’s keep going!

From my book Zombie Detective, you get this section from the first chapter.

Chapter 1 – Laid Off

“Sam, you’re fired.” Lisa’s green eyes met Sam’s brown ones.          

“What? Lisa, you and I have worked together at the Midley Beacon for ten years! And we’ve known each other for fifteen! And we’ve been married almost two months!” Sam broke eye contact, stood up from his desk, and paced about their small office.

“Sorry, Sam. Romance has to take a backseat to finances. Ever since the bottom dropped out of the zombie turkey news market since the first of the year, the Midley Beacon hasn’t made enough to pay your salary.”

“But that’s our salary. We share and share alike.”

“We can still live on my salary. And you can apply for unemployment now that you’re fired.”        

“But what’ll I do all day? I can only play Fortnite for so long.”

“What did you do before I hired you ten years ago? What did you do while I was in college?”

“Uh, mow lawns. Handyman repair. Stuff like that. But I’m a grown man now. I want more.”

“Hmm, you are a decent reporter.”

“Thanks, Lisa. That’s high praise coming from you.”

“Well, it’s the truth. You’ve grown from a crappy reporter, like ninety-nine percent of all reporters, to well above average. I did lay off everyone else on the staff before you, you know.”

Sam’s eyes misted. “Aw, you’re making me feel warm and mushy.”

Your Second Literary Gift – a Mushy Scene

“That’s part of good management—emotional manipulation.”

“Uh, you mean you don’t mean it?”

“Nah, I mean it. Emotional manipulation is much more effective if you’re sincere. Say, why don’t you call Andy Zach and see if he has some royalties to share. We signed a contract with him to get half the royalties from his book Zombie Turkeys. We supplied more than half his source material right from the pages of the Midley Beacon.”

Sam shook his head. “I just called him yesterday. His sales haven’t paid for the cover yet, let alone the editing.”

“I told him to go with traditional publishing!” Lisa scowled.

“He’d still be trying to get an agent, let alone publishing his book. Who wants to represent a zombie turkey author?”

“So think of something to do with your reporting and investigative skills. That’s your first job. Get out of here and work on it at home. When I come home tonight, I want a decision from you. That’s a deadline.”

“Ok, Lisa. And thanks. You know I work best under a deadline.”

“Sure, dear. We’ll go out for dinner tonight to celebrate your new career, whatever it will be.”

“I’m kind of tired of McDonald’s.”

“We’ll spurge. We’ll go to the big city of Peoria. Maybe to the Country Time Buffet.”

“Wow. Thanks, Lisa.”

“Now, shoo!” Lisa pushed her hands toward him. “Don’t forget to clear out your desk.”

Your Second Literary Gift – Continued

Like most of my books, Zombie Detective is available on Audible. Enjoy a free sample by clicking here!

Tell me what you think of Your Second Literary Gift

If you have any feedback for me, leave it on my contact page here. Or you can send me an email here: [email protected]. Finally, you can contact me through my newsletter by clicking here. I give away free copies of my books. Each of the next 23 days will be in the newsletter.

Tell me and I’ll give you a free copy of Zombie Turkeys!

Are you curious to listen to the audiobook? Click here to listen to a sample.

Or you can just stay at my blog, checking back every day until Christmas.

25 Literary Gifts for You! I’m author Andy Zach. For the next 25 days, I’ll give you 25 literary gifts of all shapes and sizes. Let’s get started!

From my book Zombie Turkeys, you get this section from the first chapter.

Bartonville

He felt different. More energetic, more alive. He bred with female after female in his flock without tiring. He stayed awake through the night. No predator scared him anymore.

Then a turkey hunter shot him.

The setting sun overlooked a crisp, clear evening in early November. South of Bartonville, Illinois, a farmer had leased his wood lot to two turkey hunters. Big and burly in their bulky camouflaged outfits, they had just bagged one.

“Good shot, Pete!”

“He’s a big ‘un!”

Pete and Bob walked up to the tom turkey, bleeding on the cold ground. The rest of the flock had scattered into the woods. He had exceptionally good plumage and weighed perhaps twenty pounds. Pete reached down and picked him up by the neck.

“He weighs at least twenty-five pounds!”

Then the turkey’s eyes opened—and gleamed red. He kicked with his spurs and pecked savagely at Pete’s arms and eyes. Dozens of his hens attacked the men from behind.

“Gobble! Gobble!”

He felt different. More energetic, more alive. He had no memory of being shot, but a certain turkey satisfaction at killing his killers. He also enjoyed pecking at their dead meat. This meat tasted better than the frogs he usually ate. He led his flock down the road, in search of more predators to eat.

The Next Scene

Bill Westcot, the coroner of Midley, Illinois (population 512), had seen his share of grisly deaths, but this one took the cake. Two hunters apparently pecked to death by turkeys. How could this be? Wild turkeys were normally shy and secretive, not even as aggressive as geese. Bill looked up as a man came in—average height, maybe five nine, medium build, not fat, not skinny, roundish face, hazel eyes, and brown hair. He would be hard to remember. But Bill had known him all his life.

Sam Melvin, the reporter for Midley Beacon, dropped in for his daily chat. Sam and Bill had been friends since elementary school, and they had both stayed around Midley all their lives. Bill, a short, stocky guy with blondish hair, had gone off to school and become a coroner.

Sam had stayed in Midley after high school, doing odd jobs, until he got on with the Midley Beacon. As a reporter and blogger for a small-town weekly paper, Sam wasn’t especially busy, and he liked to socialize.

When he saw what remained of the corpses on the mortuary slabs, Sam exclaimed, “Gowlurp! Gaawka-urop!” He ran to the bathroom and puked. After washing out his mouth, he returned, eyes averted.

“Who in the hell were those poor bastards?”

“Peter James and Robert Smithville, according to their drivers’ licenses and their shooting permits.”

“They look like someone went at them with a thousand pickaxes.”

“Yup. Pretty gruesome, even for me.”

“What in the world happened?”

Suspenseful Break in Literary Gifts

“As far as I can tell, they were pecked to death by a flock of wild turkeys.”

“I’ve never heard of anything like that!”

“Yeah, that’s not really normal turkey behavior.”

“Could they be rabid?”

“Turkeys don’t get rabid, Sam.”

“They don’t attack hunters either. Is ‘death by wild turkey’ what you’ll put on their death certificates?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Well, that’s what I’ll put as my story headline then. It’ll be in tomorrow’s paper.”

“Make sure when you write it up, people know that ‘wild turkey’ is a bird and not liquor.”

“How can you joke when you have these poor fellows on the slab over there?”

“It’s a job. You get used to it.”

So What Do you Think of Day 1 of Literary Gifts?

Tell me and I’ll give you a free copy of Zombie Turkeys! Just click here or email me at [email protected].

Are you curious to listen to the audiobook? Click here to listen to a sample.

If you want more gifts like these, just sign up for my newsletter by clicking here. I give away free copies of my books. Each of the next 25 days will be in the newsletter.

Or you can just stay here, checking back every day until Christmas.