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25 Days to Christmas – 25 Literary Gifts for You!

25 Literary Gifts for You! I’m author Andy Zach. For the next 25 days, I’ll give you 25 literary gifts of all shapes and sizes. Let’s get started!

From my book Zombie Turkeys, you get this section from the first chapter.

Bartonville

He felt different. More energetic, more alive. He bred with female after female in his flock without tiring. He stayed awake through the night. No predator scared him anymore.

Then a turkey hunter shot him.

The setting sun overlooked a crisp, clear evening in early November. South of Bartonville, Illinois, a farmer had leased his wood lot to two turkey hunters. Big and burly in their bulky camouflaged outfits, they had just bagged one.

“Good shot, Pete!”

“He’s a big ‘un!”

Pete and Bob walked up to the tom turkey, bleeding on the cold ground. The rest of the flock had scattered into the woods. He had exceptionally good plumage and weighed perhaps twenty pounds. Pete reached down and picked him up by the neck.

“He weighs at least twenty-five pounds!”

Then the turkey’s eyes opened—and gleamed red. He kicked with his spurs and pecked savagely at Pete’s arms and eyes. Dozens of his hens attacked the men from behind.

“Gobble! Gobble!”

He felt different. More energetic, more alive. He had no memory of being shot, but a certain turkey satisfaction at killing his killers. He also enjoyed pecking at their dead meat. This meat tasted better than the frogs he usually ate. He led his flock down the road, in search of more predators to eat.

The Next Scene

Literary Gifts
First Draft Complete
Zombie Turkeys fly to escape to Zombie Turkey hunters

Bill Westcot, the coroner of Midley, Illinois (population 512), had seen his share of grisly deaths, but this one took the cake. Two hunters apparently pecked to death by turkeys. How could this be? Wild turkeys were normally shy and secretive, not even as aggressive as geese. Bill looked up as a man came in—average height, maybe five nine, medium build, not fat, not skinny, roundish face, hazel eyes, and brown hair. He would be hard to remember. But Bill had known him all his life.

Sam Melvin, the reporter for Midley Beacon, dropped in for his daily chat. Sam and Bill had been friends since elementary school, and they had both stayed around Midley all their lives. Bill, a short, stocky guy with blondish hair, had gone off to school and become a coroner.

Sam had stayed in Midley after high school, doing odd jobs, until he got on with the Midley Beacon. As a reporter and blogger for a small-town weekly paper, Sam wasn’t especially busy, and he liked to socialize.

When he saw what remained of the corpses on the mortuary slabs, Sam exclaimed, “Gowlurp! Gaawka-urop!” He ran to the bathroom and puked. After washing out his mouth, he returned, eyes averted.

“Who in the hell were those poor bastards?”

“Peter James and Robert Smithville, according to their drivers’ licenses and their shooting permits.”

“They look like someone went at them with a thousand pickaxes.”

“Yup. Pretty gruesome, even for me.”

“What in the world happened?”

Suspenseful Break in Literary Gifts

Literary Gifts

“As far as I can tell, they were pecked to death by a flock of wild turkeys.”

“I’ve never heard of anything like that!”

“Yeah, that’s not really normal turkey behavior.”

“Could they be rabid?”

“Turkeys don’t get rabid, Sam.”

“They don’t attack hunters either. Is ‘death by wild turkey’ what you’ll put on their death certificates?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Well, that’s what I’ll put as my story headline then. It’ll be in tomorrow’s paper.”

“Make sure when you write it up, people know that ‘wild turkey’ is a bird and not liquor.”

“How can you joke when you have these poor fellows on the slab over there?”

“It’s a job. You get used to it.”

So What Do you Think of Day 1 of Literary Gifts?

Literary Gifts 
2021 Reviews Zombie Turkeys Audible
Audiobook cover – click to listen.

Tell me and I’ll give you a free copy of Zombie Turkeys! Just click here or email me at [email protected].

Are you curious to listen to the audiobook? Click here to listen to a sample.

If you want more gifts like these, just sign up for my newsletter by clicking here. I give away free copies of my books. Each of the next 25 days will be in the newsletter.

Or you can just stay here, checking back every day until Christmas.

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Your Best May Videos – and Book Reviews

Your Best May Videos – and Book Reviews as chosen by me, Andy Zach. See if you can go through them without laughing.

I watch five to ten videos per day, sometimes binging up to twenty. How about you? What do you like to watch? Tell me and I’ll send you a free book and put it in a blog post.

Let’s get started!

Groucho Marx excerpts

How can I go wrong with Groucho Marx? Have you ever heard of Groucho Marx?

Your Best May Videos – What’s Next for You?

Impromptu jazz lick

Not everyone likes jazz–but I do. How about you?

Timeout for a new book review! You probably have never seen it, or my book before. Let’s fix that:

So what’s the book about?

Ace zombie reporter Sam Melvin has been fired–by his wife, Lisa. Their paper, The Midley Beacon, is barely surviving. How will they make ends meet?

Sam decides to give being a detective a try. He advertises his business–but his zombie experience comes with it. All across the country, people bring their zombie problems to Sam. Squirrels? Bulls? Sam’s on the case. But can his experience with zombie turkeys transfer?

Sam finds out in a series of deadly adventures–and so will you when you read this book. See if you can keep from dying from laughter.

Amazon

What’s Coming Up Isn’t a Video, But I Like It

Your Best May Videos
Cold Soup or Gazpacho?

Here’s your consolation video. Just click below:

I hope this video is deer to you

Your Best May Review

Your Best May Videos
The back of Zombie Turkeys

it was amazing

review

OK this was funny, I actually started with volume 2 in this series (My undead mother in law) and all the things that I was missing in the story in the one I started are explained here, its brilliant and very funny XD, one thing that I love about this series, the people reading the book (there’s more than one ^__^) they actually sound like they’re having fun, and that’s twice the fun for us that are listening to the audiobook.

If you want a series that makes you laugh, with lots of gore and at the same time, even normal life, yeah people get to know each other and they even marry, yeah I guess you could say this is for all ages hahah

I got a free ARC from StoryOrigin and this is my honest opinion.

Sofia rated it 

Your Best May Videos – Long But Funny

If you made it this far, congrats! Have a free book on me. Click here.

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May Science Fiction Reviews for You

May Science Fiction Reviews for You that may please you. Where do I start? I’ve been so busy reading books I barely have had time to read my own reviews. But here they are, somewhat in time order.

May Science Fiction Reviews
Book cover

The Science Officer (The Science Officer #1)
Rating 4 of 5 stars
Shelvesread edit
FormatKindle Edition edit
StatusMay 9, 2022 – Finished Reading2 Show more
ReviewDelightful little novella. He introduces a vivid character, former Space Academy graduate and space scout, Javier Aritza, who raises chickens, fruits and vegetables while exploring the universe.

Too bad he runs into pirates. But with some aggressive negotiation skills, he agrees to join them as their science officer. Their air is barely breathable and their water barely drinkable but he fixes that.

For such a short read, Blaze Ward packed in a lot of character development and adventure.

Recommended!
Andy Zach’s review

May Science Fiction Reviews – Your Next Review

Get Your Zombie Turkeys Laughter
Zombie Turkeys front cover. Click to get a copy!


May 19, 2022

it was amazing

OK this was funny, I actually started with volume 2 in this series (My undead mother in law) and all the things that I was missing in the story in the one I started are explained here, its brilliant and very funny XD, one thing that I love about this series, the people reading the book (there’s more than one ^__^) they actually sound like they’re having fun, and that’s twice the fun for us that are listening to the audiobook.

If you want a series that makes you laugh, with lots of gore and at the same time, even normal life, yeah people get to know each other and they even marry, yeah I guess you could say this is for all ages hahah

I got a free ARC from StoryOrigin and this is my honest opinion

Sofia rated it 

Click here to get Zombie Turkeys for free.

May Science Fiction Reviews – Your Third Follows

May Science Fiction Reviews
Book cover
Review ofThe Mind Field (The Science Officer #2)
Rating4 of 5 stars
Shelvesaction-adventurehumormilitary-scifireadscience-fiction edit
FormatKindle Edition edit
StatusMay 18, 2022 – Shelved as: science-fictionShow more
ReviewOkay, Blaze Ward’s first book was good and his second was better.

The story begins with the pirate crew going to a haunted system. Ships that go there, never come back. And that almost happens to them, but thanks to the quick thinking of Javier, their Science Officer, they escape.

Does the stalwart, former military pirate captain use the opportunity to escape? Nope. They get into problems they never expected.

I won’t give away any spoilers.

Read and enjoy. (less)
by Andy Zach

May the Fourth Review Be With You – May Science Fiction Reviews

Sofia

May 03, 2022

SciFi Story Fuel My Undead Mother-in-law
May Science Fiction Reviews
My Undead Mother-in-law cover. Click to get yours.

it was amazing

One of the most funny books about zombies, where the zombies are not the monster or the bad guy, actually being zombified, cures all sorts of health problems, from being overweight to the death doors, and you feel much more energetic and strong.

What can I say that wont give spoilers, but it will explain in details what I did enjoy about this audiobook, both voice actors, you had a male and a female, they seemed to enjoy themselves while they were reading it, so it was so much more fun, it was also very nice the way they interact with the other, great fun, the story was also fun, and with lots of action and violence, but in a way that you will find yourself laughing out loud while listening to the violence, yeah the first dinner in the parents-in-law in the first few minutes of the book set what I was sure I would find during the book and it didn’t disappoint.

Just try it out, keep in mind that this it’s not your usual zombie story 😉 it was really a good fun, and I highly recommend, I started by this volume, I understand this is the second in the series, but unlike many other stories I didn’t find myself lost or in need to go back and read or listen the first book in the series, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to go back (sure I want) but if like me you start by this one, I don’t think you’ll find yourself lost in anyway.

Thank you StoryOrigin by the free Audible and I am leaving this review voluntarily. (less)

Sofia rated it 

Your Fifth May Science Fiction Review

May Science Fiction Reveiws
Review ofThe Gilded Cage (The Science Officer #3)
Rating4 of 5 stars
Shelvesaction-adventuremilitary-scifireadscience-fiction edit
FormatKindle Edition edit
StatusMay 19, 2022 – Shelved as: science-fictionShow more
ReviewMuch to my delight, Blaze Ward continues his high-quality writing in the third installment of his military scifi series, The Science officer.

Javier Aritza was captured by space pirates, who destroyed his scout ship and upset his life. He negotiates his way out of slavery and into a valuable officer on their ship, where he can pay off his slave debt.

But things change. The imperturbable captain Zolokov keeps generating new challenges for Javier. Once again, Javier must risk his life to save a crew member or three. One of them hate his guts. They’re in a den of pirates. Oh my.

Oddly, Javier had been there before.

Read and find out what happens. 
Do you want to review one of my books? Click here and tell me and I’ll send you one.