Do You Like Detective Novels? My book, Zombie Detective is on sale! I picked out excerpts for you. And I’ve got a lot of detective and thriller book promotions in this post. Enjoy!
Sam Melvin, Zombie Detective
But why now? Zombie Detective is on sale from September 15th to the 22nd for .99. Take advantage of it now!Click here!
P.S. I give away free books for any comments on the excerpt. Just click here.
Chapter 12 – Criminal
Criminal chapter icon
Sam walked into the office in Chicago Police Headquarters. “Superintendent Howell?”
“Yes. Please call me Gary, Sam.” A big smile creased his brown face below his glasses and bald head.
“Sure, Gary.”
“I’ve prepared a briefing for you. Here are the videos in time order.” Superintendent Howell pushed a button on his computer, and a wall-sized screen lit up, playing a black-and-white security video. A man wearing a ski mask punched a car window, opened the door, and took out a computer bag and a cell phone.
“That was the first crime. Here’s the next.” The same man knocked out a store’s plate-glass window and grabbed a television.
Sam watched all twelve videos with Gary Howell. They all happened late at night, all the break-ins done by the man’s fist. In the last video, taken from a policeman’s body camera, the man was shot, and he stumbled but kept running and vaulted over a six-foot barbed-wire fence, clearing it with a foot to spare.
“Whoa! I can see why zombiism is suspect number one.”
“Yes. We never found the bullets that were shot, and our video analysis show the man was hit in the leg and the back.”
“And then did the Olympic high-jump stunt.”
“Yes. We also analyzed his speed before the jump. Thirty miles per hour.”
“So an Olympic sprinter as well as a jumper. Have you interviewed any decathletes in Chicago?”
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Who Is Author Andy Zach? I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced.
Once upon a time, I was born. Then I graduated from college and became a programmer. Then I was a project leader. Eventually I became a 6 Sigma Black Belt. Then I retired and became an author.
That’s when the fun began! I’d always wanted to be an author. For my first book, I wanted to write something easy and fun. As I pondered my subject, I fried a turkey. I brought in the golden brown turkey and said, “What if this turkey came alive on our table?”
“Then it’d be a zombie turkey!” said one of my family. (One wife, two daughters, and a son and daughter-in-law.)
“That’s the name of my book! Zombie Turkeys!” I immediately conceived of the whole silly book as a parody of the zombie genre. I considered it overdone in 2015, and ripe for parody.
‘He felt great. He was full of energy, he had many hens to breed with, and he was the leader of a great flock.’
Sam Melvin is a reporter with the Midley Beacon, it’s a tiny local paper – with an online presence – run by its penny-pinching editor Lisa Kambacher. When Sam sees the two turkey hunters on the slab in the local mortuary, he knows he has a story to cover and he sets out to do so with great gusto. As the zombie turkeys multiply, Sam and Lisa are the leading media team on the ground and the Midley Beacon goes international, solving their financial woes and syndicating their work across the globe. But it’s not all good news. After all, there are those people-killing zombie turkeys heading into town…
This was a book I picked up with trepidation as it seemed all too possible it would be a ‘one trick pony’ stretching a single joke to beyond breaking point across the length of an entire novel. Wrong! It is like a bowl of potpourri on the sideboard of life – lots of subtle blending examples of humour – many of them very American so I suspect there were even more than I noticed, handicapped by my British perspective.
Who Is Author Andy Zach? – Part 3
My Undead Mother-in-law back cover
Naturally I had to write another book. My zombie turkeys were lonely! How could I top a zombie turkeys apocalypse? Make zombie humans! And make them the heroes of the book–unkillable, regenerating, super strong humans. And make them a middle aged couple.
So that led to my third book. I took the same superhero zombie faily, gave them a letter of marquis from the President, and sent them around the world as US privateers, taking on tasks too sensitive for direct military involvement.
Who is Author Andy Zach? – An Overview of His Books
My other series is Secret Supers, Villain’s Vacation, and Secret Supers in Space. Those are all $7 on my website and $7.95 from Amazon. This series is about four seventh graders with four different disabilities and four different superpowers–who fight crime.
“But wait, Andy!” you say. “Amazon gives me free shipping!”
“So do I. Checkmate.”
I have two more books for you, I’ll tell you about at the end of this post.
Meet My Books – The Life After Life Chronicles
I was going to write some clever blurb for each book in the series, but I decided to let you read a review from a reader for each one.
It is amazing that such a funny title and a random premise could make such an enjoyable experience. This story was fantastic. Certainly the narrator made the story come alive, but I can’t say how many times I “laughed out loud” while reading this book. Only one other book in my life ever made me feel this way. I enjoyed this story. It is a zombie-apocalypse book with political thriller feel as well as a home-town romance subplot. I would give it 10 stars if I could. Read it (listen!) and laugh. And learn how to be prepared for that zombie turkey apocalypse.
Based on the title and the cover, I originally thought the detective was going to be a zombie back in the 30s or 40s. That wasn’t the case, but it was still a hilarious amateur detective story and I loved the absurdity of it all.
It’s a short read (or listen, since I listened to the audiobook), but is packed with Sam in crazy situations with all sorts of zombies. His string of good luck is as unlikely as the conundrums he finds himself involved in, but somehow it works for him.
Phil Blechman was the perfect choice for Sam’s character. Lauren Testerman did a great job channeling Lisa, the poor woman who has to manage Sam and all his antics.
One of the most funny books about zombies, where the zombies are not the monster or the bad guy, actually being zombified, cures all sorts of health problems, from being overweight to the death doors, and you feel much more energetic and strong.
And what can I say that wont give spoilers, but it will explain in details what I did enjoy about this audiobook, both voice actors, you had a male and a female, they seemed to enjoy themselves while they were reading it, so it was so much more fun, it was also very nice the way they interact with the other, great fun, the story was also fun, and with lots of action and violence, but in a way that you will find yourself laughing out loud while listening to the violence, yeah the first dinner in the parents-in-law in the first few minutes of the book set what I was sure I would find during the book and it didn’t disappoint.
First off, I want to apologize to Mr Andy for not Reviewing these books at a lot earlier time. Again I can’t say anything but how much I have enjoyed the three books in this Series. The performance by Phil Blechman was great. I especially loved the voice of the Alien, and the Villains. Y’all just have to check out this Series, you won’t be disappointed. Thanks again Mr Andy Zach.
This is a great book to start with if you haven’t tried any Andy Zach book before. It contains stories from both his Life After Life zombie comedy series and his superhero story Super Secrets. It also shows you Zach’s sense of humor (plus there’s one little horror story that isn’t overly gruesome). This book is great for both kids and adults and works just fine on it’s own.
I loved the silly story of the flying zombie cucumbers. Ha! Very fanciful. And they have migratory routes, like butterflies! Very silly and had me chuckling. I also loved the story with the hamster (who does play a role in Secret Supers). Perhaps rodents will truly save the world some day.
The stories also help fill in some of the blanks of the zombie comedy series, including one about Diane (the beloved zombie mother-in-law). But what I really liked was the stuff about genetic engineering and the aliens. Book 3 of the Life After Life Chronicles had a lot of stuff tossed into the story and some of these short stories really help fill those parts out.
No time life for the Secret Supers! I’ll cover those in another post.
Who is Author Andy Zach? – My First Non-Fiction Book
It’s hard to believe, but I wrote a non-fiction book. It took me forty years to write. But it was worth it.
I use a different author name for my non-fiction. No sense in getting people confused.
Are you curious about Jesus Christ? Do you struggle to understand the Bible? The Gospel Medley includes the four Gospels in a single narrative, faithfully pulling the text from the World English Bible. You are now able to read all the gospel as a single, easy-to-read story.
Each Gospel describes Jesus’s life from a different point of view with different details and insights. The Gospel Medley combines every word into a single perspective with all details and events arranged chronologically.
Unlike other harmonies, The Gospel Medley doesn’t put the four gospels in columns or rows. Instead, the text is integrated word by word into a smoothly flowing narrative. Further, each paragraph references the four gospels so you can read the original citations. You also get footnotes of all the quotes from the Old Testament, giving you the context of Jesus’s words.
Get Your Free Laughter with Zombie Turkeys–2 Days Only. That’s today and tomorrow on Amazon and Story Origin, April 7th! That’s just 48 hours, so quickly click here to get Zombie Turkeys.The free book offer ends on Thursday April 8th, eclipse day.
Get your Zombie Turkeys here. You get a bushel of laughter with each book.
I’m author Andy Zach and I’ve got another book on sale as well! It’s my most recent book, Zombie Detective. This one is 67% off its Kindle price. It’s on sale below.
For more free and discount books, join my newsletter here.
Sam Melvin, an underachieving e-reporter from a small town, changes forever when he meets turkeys that won’t stay dead. You can shoot ’em, chop ’em, burn ’em—they come back stronger. The undead plague of poultry spreads uncontrollably, rocking the whole country. As Sam tracks down the zombie turkeys and how to eradicate them, his editor, Lisa Kambacher, nags him to turn his stories and expenses in on time. During their years of working together, Lisa has mellowed into an irascible pinchpenny. Lisa snipes at Sam for plebeian writing but uses her intelligence to pursue the lucrative carnivorous turkey story.
Sam and Lisa ricochet across the landscape, tracking turkeys and fleeing the bloodthirsty hordes. Careening from shell-shocked grocery store owners fighting turkeys crawling out of refrigerators to machine-gunning turkey farmers to secret militia, Sam and Lisa doggedly report.
Throughout the turkey apocalypse, they dare ravaged cities, plow knee-deep in gore and corpses, and upload streams of zombie turkey video news to the world. With paranoid militias clashing with the federal government and unkillable turkeys, Sam and Lisa doubt their ability to survive.
Sam and Lisa have no superpowers. If you have a heart condition or lack humor, you should not read Zombie Turkeys, no matter how much you want to find out what happens.
Zombie Turkeys
Get Your Free Laughter – A Reader’s Review of Zombie Turkeys
This book was a crazy ride. Imaging if you will a flock of turkeys which are unstoppable! Of course, they can be stopped if you know the secret way to kill a zombie turkey. The various scenes had me laughing. The scene with Obama and family was quite entertaining. The various traps and way to kill the turkeys had my imagination going. A fun read.
OK this was funny, I actually started with volume 2 in this series (My undead mother in law) and all the things that I was missing in the story in the one I started are explained here, its brilliant and very funny XD, one thing that I love about this series, the people reading the book (there’s more than one ^__^) they actually sound like they’re having fun, and that’s twice the fun for us that are listening to the audiobook.
Hilarious
I’ve never laughed so much listening to a zombie story before…but then again I’ve never listened to a book about zombie turkeys before either. Hilariously written and actually has some great characters too. Many cameos as well. Definitely an awesome time listening to this one. Hoping for a sequel!
Funny
What added to the Zombie Turkey situation was the author took the reader through the different towns of Illinois by a reporter working on his big story added great humor to the saga. The reader has to wonder how Mr Zach dreams up these crazy stories but they all seem to work.
Dumb…silly…juvenile…couldn’t put it down
Comfort food for that juvenile part of you that never quite outgrew your comic books. Just forget that it’s preposterous (after all, you were already warned by the title; what did you expect?), and go with the flow…
Zombie Turkeys
it’s part outrageously funny, bizarre and compelling. A very good and entertaining and riveting story.
Zombie Turkeys 🦃
This was an amazing story. It was very entertaining with many LOL moments. I’m definitely hooked. Can’t wait to listen to the next one.
Deliciously silly book!
What a deliciously silly book! If you love zombies and comedy, this zombiedy story is for you. The whole premise of zombie turkeys is just so ludicrous it makes the whole tale funny, no matter how seriously the characters take their roles. Story is suitable for the whole family. Very little blood & guts, no swearing, sweet, innocent romance.
Dark Humor
This dark comedy combines action and humor set mostly against the back drop of rural Indiana. Sam and his editor Lisa run a small town newspaper,
Let me know what you think by clicking here or emailing me at [email protected]. As always, everyone who responds with a comment or email will get a free book from me.
