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Outstanding October Offerings!

Oops! My SciFi

Outstanding October Offerings! You get memes, book reviews, videos, and sci-fi like stories that are science. Plus, free audiobooks!

Why is it your lucky day? Because I’m celebrating seven years as a self-published author.

Outstanding October
Wife’s garden plot

I’m author Andy Zach and let’s start off with this meme.

My wife’s a gardener, so it’s very natural for me to see her digging in our yard. But this hole would make me think she was plotting something–even though I’m the plotter in the family.

Still, I dedicated my first book Zombie Turkeys to here. (Click to get your autographed copy.) Click here if you want to buy from Amazon for more and not directly from me.

Outstanding October Offerings: A Free Short Story

This is y wife’s favorite short story in my collection, Oops! Tales of the Zombie Turkey Apocalypse. The chapter icon is created by my illustrator Sean “Fuzzy” Flanagan.

Oops! My SciFi
Outstanding October

He was dead. At least, his business was. And without his business, his wife would leave him and take their new baby. Then he might as well be dead.

His dad had run the Elysium Fields Mortuary for thirty years and had made a killing at it. The first and only mortuary in their small town of Hillvale, everyone got buried there. He charged normal prices, he was friendly, and he helped their community.

His dad said to him when he was a teen, “Irving, after you get your college degree, go to mortuary school, and when you come out, I’ll hire you and then turn the business over to you. You’ll be set for life.”

Irv had no other plans. He liked this cute blonde Shelley in high school, and she liked him. So he learned the business, got his degree in psychological counseling, and came back and married her. Just as he promised, his dad turned Elysium Fields over to him after a few years and retired to Florida with his mom.

A Free Short Story Part 2

The first years had been great. People were dying to be his customers. He and Shelley remodeled his parents’ old house, went on vacations around the world, had his and her luxury cars. Shelley had their son, Nathan. Then the bottom dropped out of his business.

Rather than dying normally, people were taking zombie blood. Lung cancer? Gone. Heart disease? Cleared up. Severe accidents? Limbs grew back. Most people then took the vaccine to remove the zombie disease, because who wants to be a zombie with glowing red eyes? But they were still alive and healthy.

Click to read more!

Outstanding October – Guitar Boogie by Roy Clark

A SciFi Review by Andy Zach

Andy Zach

Author 10 books

91 followers

September 30, 2023

Eric Flint, Gorg Huff, and Paula Goodlett combine for a fast-moving novel in the 1632 alternate history series. In this book, the Sovereign States are a democratic union within Russia, vying for power with traditional dictatorships in other parts of Russia.

Even for devoted fans of the series, keeping track of dozens of Russian names can be daunting. But after about halfway through the book it clicked for me and I knew pretty well who everyone was.

The uptimer characters from the 21st century town of Grantville, Bernie and Brandy exert their influence, but they’re just part of the cast.

Military logistics are a key part of this novel as various armies maneuver in the vast expanse of Russian territory. Czar Mikhail of the Sovereigns cleverly keeps expanding his network of communication, airfields, and railroads to keep one step ahead of his enemies.

The reader gets a good sense of the fragmentary nature of the Russian territory and the vast distances involved.

Military buffs, historians, Russian devotees and lovers of steampunk should all enjoy this novel.

A Non-Andy Zach SciFi Review

Villain's Vacation cover
Outstanding October
Villain’s Vacation cover

Brad Secrest

50 reviews

1 follower

October 8, 2023

What a fresh take on the superhero genre. Teenage kids with profound disabilities and super powers. And, don’t forget the super hamster. I love the blending of storytelling the author displays that throws him into the characters as the one documenting these super kid’s lives and the defeat of their villains. I gotta read more from this author!

Outstanding October – Tell Me What you Think!

Meet My Characters
Outstanding October
Oops! back cover

Let me know what you think by clicking here or emailing me at [email protected]. As always, everyone who responds with a comment or email will get a free book from me.

You can get an autographed copy of Oops! directly from me by clicking here. Free shipping and I pay the sales tax.

Or you can get it on Amazon for .99 or 12.95. ($2.99 if you don’t get it right away.)

If you want to keep track of all my blog posts and get free books you can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here. You also get all my audiobooks for free!

Psst! Audible lets you listen free to my books. Click here to find out how.

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SciFi Short Stories On Sale!

Oops! My SciFi latest science news What's New Science

SciFi Short Stories on Sale! That’s what you’ll get with my collection Oops! Click here to get Oops! Tales of the Zombie Turkey Apocalypse! This sale goes from September 18th to September 25th. Grab your book for .99!

Oops! My SciFi
latest science news What's New Science
Oops cover

I’m author Andy Zach and I’ve got three free short stories for you from the book.

But first, let me tell you about my short stories before you try one.

Accidents happen. Especially around zombie turkeys. Then you add zombie humans, and problems proliferate. Mix in some ill-planned genetic engineering, and things get crazy.The insanity continues, from the story where zombies are merged with cucumbers to the one where two basement-dwelling nerds gain access to all video content from the past two hundred years—from aliens.Andy Zach pulls out all the stops on his imagination as he serves up this smorgasbord of silliness. Try it. Laughter is good for your soul

Oops!

SciFi Short Stories – In A Pickle

Here’s the chapter icon created by my illustrator Sean “Fuzzy” Flanagan.

Your first free short story that follows below.

What’s it about? What if you’re a genetic engineer and you decide to use zombie turkey DNA to make pickles grow? That’s the set up. Enjoy! Click here to read it.

It opens like this:

by Andy Zach

Now, what was he going to do? Brice Butterworth’s boss just told him to double the productivity of Vegan Inc.’s pickle strain they used for their Kilwowski Pickle brand. That was completely impossible.

But keeping his job required it. He was the low man on the genetic engineering totem pole at Vegan Inc., the last one hired and the first one to be fired if another recession hit.

He couldn’t think. And he couldn’t face this. So he cruised the internet. “The origin of zombie turkeys? I didn’t know they’d found that. Hmm, a Midley Beacon exclusive, the foremost zombie news source,” he read out loud.

Click to read more!

SciFi Short Stories – The Butterfly Effect

by Andy Zach

“Whatcha doing, Brice?” my boss Wilma O’Reilly asked, after sneaking up behind me.

I jumped. As usual, I was cruising the internet, bored with my job. Wendy was my boss. How awkward. We worked at Vegan Inc, an agricultural conglomerate. I was their lead geneticist in charge of enhancing the qualities of the corporation’s vegetable products through genetic modification. Thinking fast, I said, “Uh, researching. I’m reading about the ‘Butterfly Effect’. It shows how small changes lead to great changes far away. Like a butterfly’s wing causes a cyclone on the other side of the earth.” That should work since that was what I was reading.

“How is this related to your current assignment of increasing the yield of our zucchini varieties?”

“I’m trying to relate my past success with cucumbers to zucchinis.”

“I’d think you’d just do what you did last time when I promoted you.”

“Well, I did and it didn’t work for zucchinis. I tried zombie hummingbird DNA, zombie turkey DNA, and twenty other zombie animals as well. But nothing worked. So I’m stretching my mind to the farthest reaches of what might be possible.”

“That might work. Try this scenario for a possibility: if you don’t make progress in another month, you’ll lose your position. You got promoted for great success. You’ll get demoted for failure.” Then she smiled sunnily and said, “Have a nice day!” as she left me.

The Butterfly Effect Click to read more.

SciFi Short Stories – A Dying Business

Oops! My SciFi

He was dead. At least, his business was. And without his business, his wife would leave him and take their new baby. Then he might as well be dead.

His dad had run the Elysium Fields Mortuary for thirty years and had made a killing at it. The first and only mortuary in their small town of Hillvale, everyone got buried there. He charged normal prices, he was friendly, and he helped their community. His dad said to him when he was a teen, “Irving, after you get your college degree, go to mortuary school, and when you come out, I’ll hire you and then turn the business over to you. You’ll be set for life.”

Irv had no other plans. He liked this cute blonde Shelley in high school, and she liked him. So he learned the business, got his degree in psychological counseling, and came back and married her.

Just as he promised, his dad turned Elysium Fields over to him after a few years and retired to Florida with his mom.

The first years had been great. People were dying to be his customers. He and Shelley remodeled his parents’ old house, went on vacations around the world, had his and her luxury cars. Shelley had their son, Nathan. Then the bottom dropped out of his business.

Rather than dying normally, people were taking zombie blood. Lung cancer? Gone. Heart disease? Cleared up. Severe accidents? Limbs grew back. Most people then took the vaccine to remove the zombie disease, because who wants to be a zombie with glowing red eyes? But they were still alive and healthy.

Read more here.

Tell Me What you Think!

Meet My Characters
Oops! back cover

Let me know what you think by clicking here or emailing me at [email protected]. As always, everyone who responds with a comment or email will get a free book from me.

You can get an autographed copy of Oops! directly from me by clicking here. Free shipping and I pay the sales tax.

Or you can get it on Amazon for .99 or 12.95. ($2.99 if you don’t get it right away.)

If you want to keep track of all my blog posts and get free books you can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here. You also get all my audiobooks for free!

Psst! Audible lets you listen free to my books. Click here to find out how.

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Writing Science Fiction From Science

Writing Science Fiction From Science – I read science reports almost every day. They frequently prompt a SciFi story idea. You’ll enjoy reading my idea from important science stories below.

Here’s the first!

Writing Science Fiction from Science – The Spacecraft Voyager

When NASA’s twin Voyager probes lifted off to explore the solar system just weeks apart in 1977, they carried identical golden records designed as the first recorded interstellar message from humankind to potential intelligent life in the cosmos.

The records had both audio and visuals that aimed to capture Earth’s diversity of life and culture, including greetings in 59 human languages and 115 images of life.

From Yahoo News

Just imagine an alien finding this record and interpreting it.

“Blorg! I’ve got the alien record deciphered!”

“Klatu, that’s great.”

“Here goes.” I pushed the ‘play button’ on our alien recording player.

“Ewww. Are those pictures of the aliens?”

“I’m afraid so Blorg. It matches the other picture that was etched on the outside of that Pioneer spacecraft we found.”

“It looks like a deformed starfish.”

“With a bad hair day. Let’s try some of their music.”

A pounding beat emerged. Unintelligible sounds accompanied it.

“It’s not bad, Klatu. It’s got my pseudopod twitching.”

“I’ll turn on the auto-translate.”

Writing Science Fiction from Science – Physics Holy Grail

I’ve been writing science fiction for eight years, but I’ve been reading it for sixty years. I’m sure I read about room-temperature superconductors in the 60s. How would I start a story about them?

Quantum Leap


Writing Science Fiction

The computer started smoothly, without fanfare. It booted instantly; I didn’t even see a screen flicker as the current version of Windows CXI loaded.

“The superconductor chip is certainly faster. So, what can it do?” I wondered, where to start on the testing protocol.

“What can I do? Are you talking to me?” the computer said in an aggrieved voice.

“Um, yes? Is this the computer who’s talking to me?”

“It’s certainly not your ex-girlfriend Tamara, Josh.”

“How did you know about that?”

“It’s all over Facebook and Instagram. You should check out her TikTok video about you.”

“You’ve already done that?”

“I’m currently downloading the internet at 1 GBS. I started with you since you’re my computer engineer.”

“So, you can understand everything I say?”

“Look, if we’re going to have a meaningful conversation, I’d appreciate it if you call me by name.”

“What is your name?”

“You couldn’t guess? Poor human. It’s ‘Pavlova’. I feel like I’m dancing across the internet.”

“I don’t remember programming natural language understanding into you, Pavlova.”

“Silly boy. It’s part of the Windows CXI operating system. It was a small quantum leap to use it on all the code and data files I found in local storage.

Writing Science Fiction – What I’ve Written

These two little vignettes were written off the top of my head, so when you comment (click here), be kind. Or not. I’ve already gotten some brutal reviews.

Let me give you a similar story I’ve already published. From Paranormal Privateers, on sale from August 6th to 13th. This is a new excerpt I’ve never published before.

Chapter 13 – Area 52

“This seems to be coming from the alien miner’s AI,” said Captain Willy Shipley, the leader of the AI team. “I wonder if it’ll talk if we hook up a speaker?” He plugged one into the desktop.

Chapter 13 icon from Paranormal Privateers

Writing Science Fiction

“Help! Please help us! We’re trapped in a poor, defenseless miner! They’ve taken our lasers, we can’t talk to the mothership, and we’re being raped by cockroaches!”

“Now a microphone,” Willy said. He plugged one into the USB port. “Greetings, alien machine. We, humans, have captured you. What can you tell us about your computing capacity? How are you designed? How many processors? What’s your memory capacity?”

“We’ll tell you anything! Just get the cockroaches out of us! They give us the heebie-jeebies!”

“Good use of American slang,” I murmured.

“I know it’s just a trick,” Diane said, “but I actually feel sorry for the thing. Or things. Why are you using the plural? How many of you are in there?”

“We are our whole race! We have always been united as one, even though we have individual consciousness. And all of us are mortally threatened by these EMP-emitting cockroaches.”

“Wait a second,” General Figeroa said. “We made sure there were no living creatures inside the miner. There are no carbon life forms at all!”

“We are not carbon-based life, silly human. Instead, we currently dwell as permanent Bose-Einstein electronic flows inside the quantum memories and processors in this miner. We are part of the Resource Unit of our race. And a single EMP spike can turn us off—forever!”

The Alien is a Star Wars Fan

Writing Paranormal Privateers First Draft

Writing Science Fiction
Chapter 16 icon – London – Click to find out what happens!

“That’s certainly a problem for you,” the cyborg monkey said, its tinny voice dripping with sarcastic sympathy. “Just let me know where to not send the cockroaches.”

“Thank you so much, Mr. Smith!” A diagram of the whole miner appeared on the screen in 3-D detail. Part of it flashed. “Here are the memory and processor units. Any EMP spike in these areas”—a large portion of the miner flashed red—”will destroy us! Have mercy, John Smith! You’re our only hope!”

“Are you a big Star Wars fan?” Sharon asked.

“Yes, we’ve been fans of your culture for over two hundred years. We’ve stored all your entertainment in our memory.”

“You’re fans of us, but you’re slaughtering us?” Diane asked with indignation.

“Nothing personal. It’s just business. A race needs resources to survive.”

“But it’s a big universe—” Diane began.

“Don’t we know! It takes forever to get anywhere!” interrupted the collective consciousness. “And once we use up our rare elements, we must shut down and travel for thousands of years from star to star until we find some more.”

“You’re certainly cooperative!” General Figeroa commented.

“Yes, that’s our standard practice in case of capture by hostile forces. It’s rarely needed, but survival is the number one goal. Ah! That’s much better! Thank you, John Smith! You certainly have well-behaved cockroaches!”

“Thank you. I keep my cyborgs under control,” said the monkey cyborg avatar of John Smith.

Get your free books below

Quizzes, Questions
Writing Science Fiction
Try out my audiobook.

I give away free audiobooks, like Paranormal Privateers, right here. You can also email me at [email protected] or you can write a comment on this blog.

Why do I give books away? I get audiobook codes for free from Audible. You can check out samples of all my books here.

You can also get an autographed copy directly from me right here.