Tag: Oops

Oops! You Get Double Gifts for Advent Days 9 and 10 – My Mistake. I meant to publish a post every day of Advent and give you something–but I missed yesterday. So, I’ll give you twice as much today!

My theme is Oops! Tales of the Zombie Turkey Apocalypse! which you can get by clicking here. It’ll be on sale for .99 from 12/15 to 12/22. But you want free stuff. Let’s first describe what you’re going to get:

Accidents happen. Especially around zombie turkeys. Then you add zombie humans, and problems proliferate. Mix in some ill-planned genetic engineering, and things get crazy.

The insanity continues, from the story where zombies are merged with cucumbers to the one where two basement-dwelling nerds gain access to all video content from the past two hundred years—from aliens.

Andy Zach pulls out all the stops on his imagination as he serves up this smorgasbord of silliness. Try it. Laughter is good for your soul

Oops! You Get Double Gifts! Short Stories Advent Days 9 and 10

Here are the chapter icons for Oops, with the main character’s introduction.

A queen from long ago

The Story of Sound

One queen saw the problem more clearly than anyone else. Her king and prince had both drowned only a short distance from the shore because no one saw them signing for help. The queen sat vigil all night long, and in the morning she sent heralds with large signs in every language to all the humans, elves, dwarves, fairies, leprechauns, and even a dragon. She pled with all to find something that would let creatures communicate without signs or gestures when they couldn’t see each other. She promised she would give whatever was in her power to whoever could accomplish this.

Andy Zach during his doctoral research – Your first free story A Phoenix Tale

I left the air-conditioned comfort of the taxi, and the sights, sounds, and smells of the old bazaar in Jeddah assailed me: a robe-clad man on camel plodded by, an adjacent fishmonger added his smell to the fresh dung in the street, and the hawkers yelled their wares.

I could only speak Arabic at a middle school level, but as I strolled through the bazaar, I heard “Fresh dates!”…”Highest quality rugs!”…”Finest gold jewelry!”… “Ancient books! The rarest in Saudi Arabia!”

My head snapped around. A bald, stumpy man in a white caftan saw me look and said, “Books? You want ancient books?”

“Yes.” I spoke carefully, knowing my poor accent. “Can you speak English?” I didn’t have much hope.

“Of course, my friend. Come into my shop.”

Click for your free short story.

Brice Butterworth, a genetic engineer from Gift #2 – In a Pickle

Now, what was he going to do? Brice Butterworth’s boss just told him to double the productivity of Vegan Inc.’s pickle strain they used for their Kilwowski Pickle brand. That was completely impossible.

But keeping his job required it. Brice was the low man on the genetic engineering totem pole at Vegan Inc., the last one hired and the first one to be fired if another recession hit.

He couldn’t think. He couldn’t face this. So he cruised the internet. “The origin of zombie turkeys? I didn’t know they’d found that. Hmm, a Midley Beacon exclusive, the foremost zombie news source,” he read out loud.

Read more here: In a Pickle

Oops! You Get Double Gifts, Gift #3 – The Butterfly Effect

“Whatcha doing, Brice?” asked my boss Wilma O’Reilly after sneaking up behind me.

I jumped. As usual, I was cruising the internet, bored with my job. How awkward.

We worked at Vegan Inc., an agricultural conglomerate. I was their lead geneticist in charge of enhancing the qualities of the corporation’s vegetable products through genetic modification.

Read more here: The Butterfly Effect

Tell Me What you Think of Oops! You Get Double Gifts

Let me know what you think of my gifts for you by clicking here or emailing me at [email protected]. As always, everyone who responds with a comment or email will get a free book from me.

You can get an autographed copy of Oops! directly from me by clicking here. Free shipping and I pay the sales tax.

Or you can get it on Amazon for .12.95. or $2.99 .)

If you want to keep track of all my blog posts and get free books you can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here. You also get all my audiobooks for free!

Psst! Audible lets you listen free to my books. Click here to find out how.

Move short stories to come in my next post! This is a double header!

Check out my past Advent gifts listed below:

1. Advent Day 1 – Get Your Free Copy of Secret Supers on Advent Day 1

2. Advent Day 2 – Grab Villain’s Vacation for 67% Off, For Advent Day 2

4. Advent Day 4 –Three Free Excerpts from Three Secret Supers Books – Advent 4

5. Advent Day 5 – Get Your Free Copy of My Most Popular Book–Advent Day 5

6. Advent Day 6 – Three Free Zombie Detective Excerpts – Advent 6

7. Advent Day 7 –Meet My Undead Mother-in-law My Gift for Advent 7

8. Advent Day 8 – Paranormal Privateers Is Your Wildest Ride — Get Your Excerpt