But that’s not all! Once you join the newsletter, your email is placed in a monthly drawing for your pick of any of my products: Zombie Turkeys, My Undead Mother-in-law, Zombie Turkeys audio book, and Zombie Turkeys Graphic Novel.
The mother-in-law has landed! That is, her book, My Undead Mother-in-law (M.U.M.) has arrived at Jule Inc. Those who’ve won free books (four) and who’ve picked M.U.M. will get one. Those who haven’t picked a prize yet, contact me, Andy Zach.
Indeedy do! The third book in the Life After Life Chronicles, my humorous zombie books set in our modern society has the working title Paranormal Privateers.
Research topics I covered for the next book were Somali piracy and letters of marque. Did you know the last letter of marque was issued in 1815 for the ship the Grand Turk, to be used against the Barbary pirates? It was never used since the second Barbary pirate war ended.
Color picture of US 16th President Lincoln. He almost issued a letter of marque.
Then later on President Lincoln thought of using them against the Confederacy but didn’t. The Confederacy, however, issued letters of marque against the Union.
Finally, Ron Paul introduced bills for letters of marque against Al-Qaida in 2001 and 2007. In 2010, a Navy lawyer researched the plausibility of letters of marque against modern pirates and concluded it was a good idea.
Andy’s autographed picture
What do you think? Respond in the comments or by email to [email protected].
But why? Barbara Beyer was my mother-in-law. (She passed in 2020 at 88). She lived in our home while I wrote My Undead Mother-in-law in 2016 and 2017. Here’s the dedication page:
Fun zombie read! I love paranormal and supernatural books so I was intrigued to read this series. I’ve listened to it on audible and the narrators are really fun and easy to listen to, I feel like they’re talking to actual people rather than reading a story. The storyline is funny and it has just gotten better with each book in the series.
Great story. Really hilarious in a ridiculous way and I don’t mean that in a negative way. I love this story! Amazing author and an amazingly well done performance.
My Undead Mother-in-law Excerpt
My Undead Mother-in-law back cover
Sam arrived at the Deviled Turkeys farm in the dark winter evening. Sam could see the National Guard trucks and a couple of police cars along the snowy drive to the barnyard. They had distracted the flock of perhaps a thousand turkeys from attacking the house and were now barely holding their own position.
Sam heard the BANG of shotguns, and the pop, pop of rifles and pistols. Why did the police waste their time and ammunition? Those weapons proved ineffective against the zombie turkeys last November.
Grabbing his trusty Flaming Turkey brand flamethrower from the backseat, he approached the line of soldiers.
“Stay away, mister!” an officer yelled over the crackle of gunfire. Sam noticed he had a skinny neck and a shock of red hair.
“You should have a flamethrower!” Sam yelled back.
“We do! We can’t use them this close to the buildings. There’s a family in there!”
Good thing Lisa isn’t here, Sam thought. During the zombie turkey apocalypse, she’d flamed first and asked questions later.
Another car pulled up in the drive. The officer yelled, “Get away, ma’am! This is a dangerous situation!”
“I’ve come to reason with the turkeys,” Diane Newby yelled back, her red eyes gleaming.
“You can’t reason with crazed killer turkeys!”
“You watch me!” She leapt past the officer, past the line of soldiers, directly toward the mass of turkeys. The soldiers ceased firing, for fear of hitting her. The mass of turkeys washed over Diane like a tsunami. Sam reluctantly filmed her last moments, for her family’s sake.
The mound of turkeys burst apart, revealing Diane throttling a tom. She ripped off its head, legs, wings and then smashed the body into paste on the ground.
“Listen up, you turkeys!” she yelled. “I’m the boss turkey now! Follow me!” Obediently, the turkeys followed her into the barn. She led them back into their cages and shut them in. Where the turkeys had burst doors and wire fencing, using her bare hands Diane wove the tough steel wire into a tight net, holding them securely. “Good thing I’m handy with macramé,” she said to herself as she wove.
Diane’s clothing was shredded and bloody like she’d been through a wood chipper, but her skin showed pink and unbroken through the many holes in her pants and coat. Sam ran to her.
“Are you OK, Diane?”
“Never felt better! I told you I could reason with the zombie turkeys!”
“How did you find out?”
“It was on the zombie turkey Twitter feed on the Midley Beacon page, where I was reading your story about us!”
If you like these kinds of excerpts, subscribe here, if you haven’t already. As a bonus for signing up for my newsletter, you’ll be able to get codes for free audiobooks. Get yours today!
The mother-in-law has landed! That is, her book, My Undead Mother-in-law (M.U.M.) has arrived at Jule Inc. Those who’ve won free books (four) and who’ve picked M.U.M. will get one. Those who haven’t picked a prize yet, contact me, Andy Zach.
Indeedy do! The third book in the Life After Life Chronicles, my humorous zombie books set in our modern society is Paranormal Privateers.
Research topics I covered for the next book were Somali piracy and letters of marque. Did you know the last letter of marque was issued in 1815 for the ship the Grand Turk, to be used against the Barbary pirates? It was never used since the second Barbary pirate war ended.
Color picture of US 16th President Lincoln. He almost issued a letter of marque.
Then later on President Lincoln thought of using them against the Confederacy but didn’t. The Confederacy, however, issued letters of marque against the Union.
Finally, Ron Paul introduced bills for letters of marque against Al-Qaida in 2001 and 2007. In 2010, a Navy lawyer researched the plausibility of letters of marque against modern pirates and concluded it was a good idea.
Andy’s autographed picture
What do you think? Respond in the comments or by email to [email protected].
