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My 7 Year Journey as a Self-Published Author

Get Your Zombie Turkeys Laughter
Sixth-Year Anniversary
My Seventh-Year Anniversary
My 7 Year Journey
Zombie Turkeys front cover. Click to get a copy! Sam Melvin, an underachieving e-reporter from a small town, changes forever when he meets turkeys that won’t stay dead. You can shoot ’em, chop ’em, burn ’em—they come back stronger. The undead plague of poultry spreads uncontrollably, rocking the whole country. . .

My 7 Year Journey as a Self-Published Author–What did I learn? What were my mistakes? What worked for me? I’ll tell you all about my last seven years and how I sold 3,500+ books.

If you missed the first blog post in this anniversary series, here it is: My Seventh-Year Anniversary as a Self-Published Author

First, grab a copy of my book for .99. In 2018 I put Zombie Turkeys at permanently .99. free. Click here now!

I published My Undead Mother-in-law in August 2017 and Paranormal Privateers in May 2018,

My hopes and dreams were that everyone who bought Zombie Turkeys would buy my other books.

How’d that work out? About 43% of those who bought Zombie Turkeys bought the other books. Not bad, but not great.

But later on, the .99 lead in helped me. I’ll tell you how below.

I was pumping them using Amazon ads and in person sales and my newsletter. But I wasn’t getting rich. Nor was I breaking even. But I was having loads of fun.

My Undead Mother-in-law

My Undead Mother-in-law back cover
My 7 Year Journey
My Undead Mother-in-law back cover

Blurb:

My mother-in-law’s a zombie. And she has anger-management issues. What ticks her off is when people don’t treat her like a normal human being—with glowing red eyes and super strength and speed. 

Get your audiobook for free by clicking here.

Get your autographed copy by clicking here.

Paranormal Privateers

My 7 Year Journey

Zombies charge first, ask questions later. Middle-aged, overweight, and undead, Diane Newby leads the paranormal privateers against criminals and corruption. Sailing to trouble spots too sensitive for the US government, with zombie strength and regeneration they beat bullies into submission. Aided by zombie turkeys, corgis, and bulls, vicious criminal geniuses fall before them

Get your audiobook for free by clicking here.

Get your autographed copy by clicking here.

My 7 Year Journey – My Second Series Secret Supers

Not everyone like zombies, not even funny ones. But everyone likes superheroes. One of my author friends specializes in middle-grade books, Paul Maitland. He said there was a dearth of books for that age group. So I made my four main characters are in 7th grade.

My daughter is disabled and drives an electric wheelchair. She asked me to write a book with a flying wheelchair. So I did, Secret Supers.

My main character is Jeremy Gentle, in an electric wheelchair with cerebral palsy, just like my daughter. But he gets telekinesis and can make his wheelchair fly. And his super-powered friends.

Get your Secret Supers audiobook for free by clicking here.

Get your autographed copy of Secret Supers by clicking here.

Villain's Vacation cover What is it like?
Villain’s Vacation cover

After completing 7th grade and cleaning up crime in their town, the four friends go to a coaster park for summer vacation. Too bad their worst enemy is also there and out for revenge. Find out more in Villain’s Vacation.

Get your Villain’s Vacation audiobook for free by clicking here.

Get your autographed copy of Villain’s Vacation. by clicking here.

Produce Your Audiobook Secret Supers in Space
Secret Supers in Space audiobook cover. Click to listen.

But that’s not the end of their summer vacation. They become bored and their parents send them to Space Camp. They get more adventure than they expect.

Get your Secret Supers in Space audiobook for free by clicking here.

Get your autographed copy of Secret Supers in Space by clicking here.

My 7 Year Journey – What Happened Next?

So I have two series. Both start with .99 books. Why?

During the COVID-19 pandemic, I had my best year for sales. I couldn’t sell as much in person, but there were tremendous sales online. I think the .99 price invited a lot of people to try my books.

Zombie Detective cover
My 7 Year Journey
Zombie Detective cover

But these six books aren’t all I’ve done. I inserted Zombie Detective in between Zombie Turkeys and My Undead Mother-in-law. Then I wrote Oops! Tales of the Zombie Turkey Apocalypse, my short story collection. I put all the wacky ideas in it I couldn’t use in my other books.

Oops! My SciFi latest science news What's New Science
Oops cover final medium

My 7 Year Journey – My Non-Fiction Book

Finally, I wrote a book in another genre which I’d never done before: Bible helps. The Gospel Medley. Here’s what the book is about:

Gospel Medley Writer's Block: My Experience
The Gospel Medley cover. Click to get

Are you curious about Jesus Christ? Do you struggle to understand the Bible? The Gospel Medley includes the four Gospels in a single narrative, faithfully pulling the text from the World English Bible. You are now able to read all the gospel as a single, easy-to-read story.

Each Gospel describes Jesus’s life from a different point of view with different details and insights. The Gospel Medley combines every word into a single perspective with all details and events arranged chronologically.

Unlike other harmonies, The Gospel Medley doesn’t put the four gospels in columns or rows. Instead, the text is integrated word by word into a smoothly flowing narrative. Further, each paragraph references the four gospels so you can read the original citations. You also get footnotes of all the quotes from the Old Testament, giving you the context of Jesus’s words.

For a unique perspective of the four gospels, read ‘The Gospel Medley’ today.

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Writing Science Fiction From Science

Writing Science Fiction From Science – I read science reports almost every day. They frequently prompt a SciFi story idea. You’ll enjoy reading my idea from important science stories below.

Here’s the first!

Writing Science Fiction from Science – The Spacecraft Voyager

When NASA’s twin Voyager probes lifted off to explore the solar system just weeks apart in 1977, they carried identical golden records designed as the first recorded interstellar message from humankind to potential intelligent life in the cosmos.

The records had both audio and visuals that aimed to capture Earth’s diversity of life and culture, including greetings in 59 human languages and 115 images of life.

From Yahoo News

Just imagine an alien finding this record and interpreting it.

“Blorg! I’ve got the alien record deciphered!”

“Klatu, that’s great.”

“Here goes.” I pushed the ‘play button’ on our alien recording player.

“Ewww. Are those pictures of the aliens?”

“I’m afraid so Blorg. It matches the other picture that was etched on the outside of that Pioneer spacecraft we found.”

“It looks like a deformed starfish.”

“With a bad hair day. Let’s try some of their music.”

A pounding beat emerged. Unintelligible sounds accompanied it.

“It’s not bad, Klatu. It’s got my pseudopod twitching.”

“I’ll turn on the auto-translate.”

Writing Science Fiction from Science – Physics Holy Grail

I’ve been writing science fiction for eight years, but I’ve been reading it for sixty years. I’m sure I read about room-temperature superconductors in the 60s. How would I start a story about them?

Quantum Leap


Writing Science Fiction

The computer started smoothly, without fanfare. It booted instantly; I didn’t even see a screen flicker as the current version of Windows CXI loaded.

“The superconductor chip is certainly faster. So, what can it do?” I wondered, where to start on the testing protocol.

“What can I do? Are you talking to me?” the computer said in an aggrieved voice.

“Um, yes? Is this the computer who’s talking to me?”

“It’s certainly not your ex-girlfriend Tamara, Josh.”

“How did you know about that?”

“It’s all over Facebook and Instagram. You should check out her TikTok video about you.”

“You’ve already done that?”

“I’m currently downloading the internet at 1 GBS. I started with you since you’re my computer engineer.”

“So, you can understand everything I say?”

“Look, if we’re going to have a meaningful conversation, I’d appreciate it if you call me by name.”

“What is your name?”

“You couldn’t guess? Poor human. It’s ‘Pavlova’. I feel like I’m dancing across the internet.”

“I don’t remember programming natural language understanding into you, Pavlova.”

“Silly boy. It’s part of the Windows CXI operating system. It was a small quantum leap to use it on all the code and data files I found in local storage.

Writing Science Fiction – What I’ve Written

These two little vignettes were written off the top of my head, so when you comment (click here), be kind. Or not. I’ve already gotten some brutal reviews.

Let me give you a similar story I’ve already published. From Paranormal Privateers, on sale from August 6th to 13th. This is a new excerpt I’ve never published before.

Chapter 13 – Area 52

“This seems to be coming from the alien miner’s AI,” said Captain Willy Shipley, the leader of the AI team. “I wonder if it’ll talk if we hook up a speaker?” He plugged one into the desktop.

Chapter 13 icon from Paranormal Privateers

Writing Science Fiction

“Help! Please help us! We’re trapped in a poor, defenseless miner! They’ve taken our lasers, we can’t talk to the mothership, and we’re being raped by cockroaches!”

“Now a microphone,” Willy said. He plugged one into the USB port. “Greetings, alien machine. We, humans, have captured you. What can you tell us about your computing capacity? How are you designed? How many processors? What’s your memory capacity?”

“We’ll tell you anything! Just get the cockroaches out of us! They give us the heebie-jeebies!”

“Good use of American slang,” I murmured.

“I know it’s just a trick,” Diane said, “but I actually feel sorry for the thing. Or things. Why are you using the plural? How many of you are in there?”

“We are our whole race! We have always been united as one, even though we have individual consciousness. And all of us are mortally threatened by these EMP-emitting cockroaches.”

“Wait a second,” General Figeroa said. “We made sure there were no living creatures inside the miner. There are no carbon life forms at all!”

“We are not carbon-based life, silly human. Instead, we currently dwell as permanent Bose-Einstein electronic flows inside the quantum memories and processors in this miner. We are part of the Resource Unit of our race. And a single EMP spike can turn us off—forever!”

The Alien is a Star Wars Fan

Writing Paranormal Privateers First Draft

Writing Science Fiction
Chapter 16 icon – London – Click to find out what happens!

“That’s certainly a problem for you,” the cyborg monkey said, its tinny voice dripping with sarcastic sympathy. “Just let me know where to not send the cockroaches.”

“Thank you so much, Mr. Smith!” A diagram of the whole miner appeared on the screen in 3-D detail. Part of it flashed. “Here are the memory and processor units. Any EMP spike in these areas”—a large portion of the miner flashed red—”will destroy us! Have mercy, John Smith! You’re our only hope!”

“Are you a big Star Wars fan?” Sharon asked.

“Yes, we’ve been fans of your culture for over two hundred years. We’ve stored all your entertainment in our memory.”

“You’re fans of us, but you’re slaughtering us?” Diane asked with indignation.

“Nothing personal. It’s just business. A race needs resources to survive.”

“But it’s a big universe—” Diane began.

“Don’t we know! It takes forever to get anywhere!” interrupted the collective consciousness. “And once we use up our rare elements, we must shut down and travel for thousands of years from star to star until we find some more.”

“You’re certainly cooperative!” General Figeroa commented.

“Yes, that’s our standard practice in case of capture by hostile forces. It’s rarely needed, but survival is the number one goal. Ah! That’s much better! Thank you, John Smith! You certainly have well-behaved cockroaches!”

“Thank you. I keep my cyborgs under control,” said the monkey cyborg avatar of John Smith.

Get your free books below

Quizzes, Questions
Writing Science Fiction
Try out my audiobook.

I give away free audiobooks, like Paranormal Privateers, right here. You can also email me at [email protected] or you can write a comment on this blog.

Why do I give books away? I get audiobook codes for free from Audible. You can check out samples of all my books here.

You can also get an autographed copy directly from me right here.

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Almost Science Fiction Science Stories

Almost Science Fiction Science Stories – I’ve had a lot of science stories pile up that I can use to generate stories. Which do you like? You can tell me your ideas–and get free books for them.

Ready? Let’s go!

Rethinking paralysis

Credit: IEEE Spectrum

What is it? Swiss neuroscientists are helping a paralyzed man walk using a brain-spine interface (BSI) that turns thought into movement.

Why does it matter? While researchers have made some progress in treating spinal cord injury and paralysis, scientists have yet to restore natural, voluntary walking motion in a paralyzed person. Gert-Jan Oskam, the man at the center of the Swiss study, says the new BSI feels much more intuitive than earlier versions. “The stimulation before was controlling me, and now I’m controlling the stimulation,” Oskam says. He can now walk more than 600 feet per day and stand for three minutes unaided.

I’ve already had characters recuperate from limb loss by regenerating limbs. Paralysis fixing is a matter of regrowing nerves. I have written some stories about people getting up from wheelchairs through nerve regrowth. Check out this short story:

Assisted Living

Oops! My SciFi
Almost Science Fiction

by Andy Zach
I need to tell you about my own zombie story. It’s about
how my parents became zombies.
As soon as the zombie turkeys appeared in Illinois, I
started cultures of their zombie turkey bacteria in petri dishes.
When other animals, squirrels, rabbits, and cows began
turning zombie, I added cultures of their bacteria. I sought the
ultimate source of animal revivification. It was my PhD thesis
and my life’s work.
I’ve always wanted to revive animals from the dead. It
seemed the secret was through the special bacteria for each
species. Naturally, when humans became zombies, I cultivated
their bacteria too.
That’s where this story starts. My parents were in an assisted living home, and I brought them to my house for a
family reunion. Like all reunions, the house was filled with sisters, brothers, aunts and uncles, and food. Lots of good
Greek food—gyros, moussaka, and of course, lots of ouzo, the Grecian licorice liquor. We also had cold cuts and a sandwich bar for the in-laws who didn’t do Greek. The trouble began at the bar.
My father, Giorgos “Gyros” Zacharias, loves Vegemite vegetable spread. He usually ate it on whole-wheat bread. He
acquired the taste while traveling in Australia for his import-export business. That was also where he got his nickname,
“Gyros.”

Assisted Living – continued


We had whole-wheat bread, but somehow my wife and I neglected to stock up on Vegemite.
“Anastasios?” he asked me as he pushed his walker toward me.
“What, Dad?”
“Where’s the Vegemite?”
“Oh, sorry about that. I forgot to get it.”
“That’s okay. I’ll just look around for it.”
“I don’t think you’ll find any.”
“You’ll be surprised. I’m good at finding things.”
I was.
The next time I saw him, he was dancing the sirtaki on the patio while playing the “Zorba’s Dance” on his bazouki, a
Greek mandolin. He eyes glowed bright red.

“Dad! What happened? You’ve become a zombie!”
“Zombie? Who cares! I feel great! Dance with me, Anastasios. Opa!”

I don’t have a free copy of this short story, but you can get a signed copy of my short story collection Oops! by clicking here.

If you want an Oops! ebook, click here for Amazon.

What would are your ideas for this news story? Let me know, and I’ll send you a free book. Just click here.

If you can’t think of anything to say, just click and join my newsletter and you’ll get free audiobooks.

Your Next Almost Science Fiction Science

Good old NASA gave a montage of exoplanets they’ve discovered. Where would you like to live? Which one would you write about? Lemme know!

More Almost Science Fiction Coming Up!

I love this remarkable picture of an unusual cloud formation. I’d write a story where this is a common occurrence.

How would you handle this? Get your book now, right here. You can also email me at [email protected] or you can write a comment on this blog.

Why do I give books away? Ideas are the most important resource a writer can have. Who knows if your idea will give me a great novel?