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Oops! You Get Double Gifts for Advent Days 9 and 10 – My Mistake

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Oops! You Get Double Gifts for Advent Days 9 and 10 – My Mistake. I meant to publish a post every day of Advent and give you something–but I missed yesterday. So, I’ll give you twice as much today!

My theme is Oops! Tales of the Zombie Turkey Apocalypse!which you can get by clicking here. It’ll be on sale for .99 from 12/15 to 12/22. But you want free stuff. Let’s first describe what you’re going to get:

Accidents happen. Especially around zombie turkeys. Then you add zombie humans, and problems proliferate. Mix in some ill-planned genetic engineering, and things get crazy.

The insanity continues, from the story where zombies are merged with cucumbers to the one where two basement-dwelling nerds gain access to all video content from the past two hundred years—from aliens.

Andy Zach pulls out all the stops on his imagination as he serves up this smorgasbord of silliness. Try it. Laughter is good for your soul

Oops! You Get Double Gifts! Short Stories Advent Days 9 and 10

Here are the chapter icons for Oops, with the main character’s introduction.

A queen from long ago

Oops! You Get  Double Gifts

The Story of Sound

One queen saw the problem more clearly than anyone else. Her king and prince had both drowned only a short distance from the shore because no one saw them signing for help. The queen sat vigil all night long, and in the morning she sent heralds with large signs in every language to all the humans, elves, dwarves, fairies, leprechauns, and even a dragon. She pled with all to find something that would let creatures communicate without signs or gestures when they couldn’t see each other. She promised she would give whatever was in her power to whoever could accomplish this.

Andy Zach during his doctoral research – Your first free story A Phoenix Tale

Oops! My SciFi
Oops! You Get  Double Gifts
A Phoenix Tale

I left the air-conditioned comfort of the taxi, and the sights, sounds, and smells of the old bazaar in Jeddah assailed me: a robe-clad man on camel plodded by, an adjacent fishmonger added his smell to the fresh dung in the street, and the hawkers yelled their wares.

I could only speak Arabic at a middle school level, but as I strolled through the bazaar, I heard “Fresh dates!”…”Highest quality rugs!”…”Finest gold jewelry!”… “Ancient books! The rarest in Saudi Arabia!”

My head snapped around. A bald, stumpy man in a white caftan saw me look and said, “Books? You want ancient books?”

“Yes.” I spoke carefully, knowing my poor accent. “Can you speak English?” I didn’t have much hope.

“Of course, my friend. Come into my shop.”

Click for your free short story.


Brice Butterworth, a genetic engineer from Gift #2 – In a Pickle

Oops! You Get  Double Gifts

Now, what was he going to do? Brice Butterworth’s boss just told him to double the productivity of Vegan Inc.’s pickle strain they used for their Kilwowski Pickle brand. That was completely impossible.

But keeping his job required it. Brice was the low man on the genetic engineering totem pole at Vegan Inc., the last one hired and the first one to be fired if another recession hit.

He couldn’t think. He couldn’t face this. So he cruised the internet. “The origin of zombie turkeys? I didn’t know they’d found that. Hmm, a Midley Beacon exclusive, the foremost zombie news source,” he read out loud.

Read more here: In a Pickle

Oops! You Get Double Gifts, Gift #3 – The Butterfly Effect

Oops! You Get  Double Gifts

“Whatcha doing, Brice?” asked my boss Wilma O’Reilly after sneaking up behind me.

I jumped. As usual, I was cruising the internet, bored with my job. How awkward.

We worked at Vegan Inc., an agricultural conglomerate. I was their lead geneticist in charge of enhancing the qualities of the corporation’s vegetable products through genetic modification.

Read more here: The Butterfly Effect

Tell Me What you Think of Oops! You Get Double Gifts

Let me know what you think of my gifts for you by clicking here or emailing me at [email protected]. As always, everyone who responds with a comment or email will get a free book from me.

You can get an autographed copy of Oops! directly from me by clicking here. Free shipping and I pay the sales tax.

Or you can get it on Amazon for .12.95. or $2.99 .)

If you want to keep track of all my blog posts and get free books you can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here. You also get all my audiobooks for free!

Psst! Audible lets you listen free to my books. Click here to find out how.

Move short stories to come in my next post! This is a double header!

Check out my past Advent gifts listed below:

  1. Advent Day 1 – Get Your Free Copy of Secret Supers on Advent Day 1

2. Advent Day 2 – Grab Villain’s Vacation for 67% Off, For Advent Day 2

4. Advent Day 4 –Three Free Excerpts from Three Secret Supers Books – Advent 4

5. Advent Day 5 – Get Your Free Copy of My Most Popular Book–Advent Day 5

6. Advent Day 6 – Three Free Zombie Detective Excerpts – Advent 6

7. Advent Day 7 –Meet My Undead Mother-in-law My Gift for Advent 7

8. Advent Day 8 – Paranormal Privateers Is Your Wildest Ride — Get Your Excerpt

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Meet My Undead Mother-in-law My Gift for Advent 7

My Undead Mother-in-law back cover

Meet My Undead Mother-in-law as Your Gift! I’m giving you everything I have about this delightful, middle-aged, zombie woman with anger management issues. This is every excerpt I have on her throughout my eight-year career as a self-published author.

Here’s an info dump on Diane Newby, the undead mother-in-law.

My mother-in-law’s a zombie. And she has anger-management issues. My mother-in-law, Diane Newby, zombified by accident. She still volunteers at her church bake sales and cooks pot roast for her daughter and son-in-law, Ron Yardley. What ticks her off is when people don’t treat her like a normal human being—with glowing red eyes and super strength and speed. And if she doesn’t get her way, look out. She explodes and leaves broken plaster and body parts in her wake. Nothing stops her: not brick walls, the federal government, or middle-aged spread.

But the world’s most powerful criminal plans to control zombies. His only problem with zombies is that they have way too much free will. He has a solution for that. But will it work with Diane Newby? The world is divided into pro-zombie and anti-zombie factions. Battles break out everywhere. Which side will you take? Who will live and who will die? You might not survive this book. But at least you’ll die laughing.

Continue reading Meet My Undead Mother-in-law My Gift for Advent 7
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Get Your Free Copy of My Most Popular Book–Advent Day 5

Best Science Stories Zombie Turkeys Gift
Get Your Free Copy
Get your Zombie Turkeys here. You get a bushel of laughter with each book.

Get Your Free Copy of My Most Popular Book–and laughter! All of this is on the 5th day of advent. As I count down to Christmas, I’ll give you a gift every day.

What’s my most popular book? By a margin of 2:1 I sold more copies of Zombie Turkeys than any other book.

Why is Zombie Turkeys so popular? Listen to these readers:

A very fun, very funny read.

5.0 out of 5 stars 

I loved every gobbling, clucking page of this book. It’s this hilarious and insane story that wonderfully hits all the right zombie outbreak tropes I love, but done with turkeys and thanksgiving themes. SO FUNNY! I could read about heroic turkey farmers making chipper-shredder last stands for just about forever.

Side splitting paranormal fun

5.0 out of 5 stars 

I absolutely enjoyed reading this. The way the author used local cities in central Illinois was terrific. The plot was well written. It was a good fast read.

Makes You a Zombie Fan

5.0 out of 5 stars 

I am not a zombie fan, but have been known to like turkey especially with stuffing. No seriously, this book is so imaginative and original but I wouldn’t classify it as a novelty book. It is too well written for that. Especially like the author using small towns in central Illinois as sites of the attacks as I am also from central Illinois. This read will put a smile on your face no matter where you live. 

Julia A. Andrews

Get Your Free Copy of Most Popular Book – More Proof

Readers’ reviews from Audible:

You won’t look at turkeys the same way as before

Get Your Free Copy of Zombie Turkeys

OK this was funny, I actually started with volume 2 in this series (My undead mother in law) and all the things that I was missing in the story in the one I started are explained here, its brilliant and very funny XD, one thing that I love about this series, the people reading the book (there’s more than one ^__^) they actually sound like they’re having fun, and that’s twice the fun for us that are listening to the audiobook.

Hilarious

I’ve never laughed so much listening to a zombie story before…but then again I’ve never listened to a book about zombie turkeys before either. Hilariously written and actually has some great characters too. Many cameos as well. Definitely an awesome time listening to this one. Hoping for a sequel!

Funny

Get Your Free Copy of Zombie Turkeys

What added to the Zombie Turkey situation was the author took the reader through the different towns of Illinois by a reporter working on his big story added great humor to the saga. The reader has to wonder how Mr Zach dreams up these crazy stories but they all seem to work.

Dumb…silly…juvenile…couldn’t put it down

Comfort food for that juvenile part of you that never quite outgrew your comic books. Just forget that it’s preposterous (after all, you were already warned by the title; what did you expect?), and go with the flow…

Get Your Free Copy of My Most Popular Book — Zombie Turkeys

Get Your Free Copy

it’s part outrageously funny, bizarre and compelling. A very good and entertaining and riveting story.

Zombie Turkeys 🦃

This was an amazing story. It was very entertaining with many LOL moments. I’m definitely hooked. Can’t wait to listen to the next one.

Deliciously silly book!

What a deliciously silly book! If you love zombies and comedy, this zombiedy story is for you. The whole premise of zombie turkeys is just so ludicrous it makes the whole tale funny, no matter how seriously the characters take their roles. Story is suitable for the whole family. Very little blood & guts, no swearing, sweet, innocent romance.

Dark Humor

This dark comedy combines action and humor set mostly against the back drop of rural Indiana. Sam and his editor Lisa run a small town newspaper, 

Get your free copy of Zombie Turkeys here!

Get Your Free Copy of My Most Popular Book–Tell Me What You Think!

Let me know what you think by clicking here or emailing me at [email protected]. As always, everyone who responds with a comment or email will get a free book from me.

You can get an autographed copy of Zombie Turkeys and/or Secret Supers in Space directly from me by clicking here. Free shipping and I pay the sales tax.

Or you can get Secret Supers in Space on Amazon for 2.99 or 8.95.

If you want to keep track of all my blog posts and get free books you can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here. You also get all my audiobooks for free!

Psst! Audible lets you listen free to my books. Click here to find out how.