Posted on 17 Comments

Your Second Literary Gift! – 24 Gifts to Christmas

Your Second Literary Gift from me, author Andy Zach is in this blog post. I gave you your first gift in yesterday’s post, 25 Days to Christmas – 25 Literary Gifts for You. Let’s keep going!

From my book Zombie Detective, you get this section from the first chapter.

Chapter 1 – Laid Off

Kindle Publishing
Sam Melvin, Zombie Detective

“Sam, you’re fired.” Lisa’s green eyes met Sam’s brown ones.          

“What? Lisa, you and I have worked together at the Midley Beacon for ten years! And we’ve known each other for fifteen! And we’ve been married almost two months!” Sam broke eye contact, stood up from his desk, and paced about their small office.

“Sorry, Sam. Romance has to take a backseat to finances. Ever since the bottom dropped out of the zombie turkey news market since the first of the year, the Midley Beacon hasn’t made enough to pay your salary.”

“But that’s our salary. We share and share alike.”

“We can still live on my salary. And you can apply for unemployment now that you’re fired.”        

“But what’ll I do all day? I can only play Fortnite for so long.”

“What did you do before I hired you ten years ago? What did you do while I was in college?”

“Uh, mow lawns. Handyman repair. Stuff like that. But I’m a grown man now. I want more.”

“Hmm, you are a decent reporter.”

“Thanks, Lisa. That’s high praise coming from you.”

“Well, it’s the truth. You’ve grown from a crappy reporter, like ninety-nine percent of all reporters, to well above average. I did lay off everyone else on the staff before you, you know.”

Sam’s eyes misted. “Aw, you’re making me feel warm and mushy.”

Your Second Literary Gift – a Mushy Scene

Your Second Literary Gift
Lisa Melvin from Zombie Detective

“That’s part of good management—emotional manipulation.”

“Uh, you mean you don’t mean it?”

“Nah, I mean it. Emotional manipulation is much more effective if you’re sincere. Say, why don’t you call Andy Zach and see if he has some royalties to share. We signed a contract with him to get half the royalties from his book Zombie Turkeys. We supplied more than half his source material right from the pages of the Midley Beacon.

Sam shook his head. “I just called him yesterday. His sales haven’t paid for the cover yet, let alone the editing.”

“I told him to go with traditional publishing!” Lisa scowled.

“He’d still be trying to get an agent, let alone publishing his book. Who wants to represent a zombie turkey author?”

“So think of something to do with your reporting and investigative skills. That’s your first job. Get out of here and work on it at home. When I come home tonight, I want a decision from you. That’s a deadline.”

“Ok, Lisa. And thanks. You know I work best under a deadline.”

“Sure, dear. We’ll go out for dinner tonight to celebrate your new career, whatever it will be.”

“I’m kind of tired of McDonald’s.”

“We’ll spurge. We’ll go to the big city of Peoria. Maybe to the Country Time Buffet.”

“Wow. Thanks, Lisa.”

“Now, shoo!” Lisa pushed her hands toward him. “Don’t forget to clear out your desk.”

Your Second Literary Gift – Continued

Your Second Literary Gift
New Science Books
Andy Zach’s new scifi detective mystery.

Like most of my books, Zombie Detective is available on Audible. Enjoy a free sample by clicking here!

Tell me what you think of Your Second Literary Gift

If you have any feedback for me, leave it on my contact page here. Or you can send me an email here: [email protected]. Finally, you can contact me through my newsletter by clicking here. I give away free copies of my books. Each of the next 23 days will be in the newsletter.

Literary Gifts 
2021 Reviews Zombie Turkeys Audible
Audiobook cover – click to listen.

Tell me and I’ll give you a free copy of Zombie Turkeys!

Are you curious to listen to the audiobook? Click here to listen to a sample.

Or you can just stay at my blog, checking back every day until Christmas.

Posted on 25 Comments

25 Days to Christmas – 25 Literary Gifts for You!

25 Literary Gifts for You! I’m author Andy Zach. For the next 25 days, I’ll give you 25 literary gifts of all shapes and sizes. Let’s get started!

From my book Zombie Turkeys, you get this section from the first chapter.

Bartonville

He felt different. More energetic, more alive. He bred with female after female in his flock without tiring. He stayed awake through the night. No predator scared him anymore.

Then a turkey hunter shot him.

The setting sun overlooked a crisp, clear evening in early November. South of Bartonville, Illinois, a farmer had leased his wood lot to two turkey hunters. Big and burly in their bulky camouflaged outfits, they had just bagged one.

“Good shot, Pete!”

“He’s a big ‘un!”

Pete and Bob walked up to the tom turkey, bleeding on the cold ground. The rest of the flock had scattered into the woods. He had exceptionally good plumage and weighed perhaps twenty pounds. Pete reached down and picked him up by the neck.

“He weighs at least twenty-five pounds!”

Then the turkey’s eyes opened—and gleamed red. He kicked with his spurs and pecked savagely at Pete’s arms and eyes. Dozens of his hens attacked the men from behind.

“Gobble! Gobble!”

He felt different. More energetic, more alive. He had no memory of being shot, but a certain turkey satisfaction at killing his killers. He also enjoyed pecking at their dead meat. This meat tasted better than the frogs he usually ate. He led his flock down the road, in search of more predators to eat.

The Next Scene

Literary Gifts
First Draft Complete
Zombie Turkeys fly to escape to Zombie Turkey hunters

Bill Westcot, the coroner of Midley, Illinois (population 512), had seen his share of grisly deaths, but this one took the cake. Two hunters apparently pecked to death by turkeys. How could this be? Wild turkeys were normally shy and secretive, not even as aggressive as geese. Bill looked up as a man came in—average height, maybe five nine, medium build, not fat, not skinny, roundish face, hazel eyes, and brown hair. He would be hard to remember. But Bill had known him all his life.

Sam Melvin, the reporter for Midley Beacon, dropped in for his daily chat. Sam and Bill had been friends since elementary school, and they had both stayed around Midley all their lives. Bill, a short, stocky guy with blondish hair, had gone off to school and become a coroner.

Sam had stayed in Midley after high school, doing odd jobs, until he got on with the Midley Beacon. As a reporter and blogger for a small-town weekly paper, Sam wasn’t especially busy, and he liked to socialize.

When he saw what remained of the corpses on the mortuary slabs, Sam exclaimed, “Gowlurp! Gaawka-urop!” He ran to the bathroom and puked. After washing out his mouth, he returned, eyes averted.

“Who in the hell were those poor bastards?”

“Peter James and Robert Smithville, according to their drivers’ licenses and their shooting permits.”

“They look like someone went at them with a thousand pickaxes.”

“Yup. Pretty gruesome, even for me.”

“What in the world happened?”

Suspenseful Break in Literary Gifts

Literary Gifts

“As far as I can tell, they were pecked to death by a flock of wild turkeys.”

“I’ve never heard of anything like that!”

“Yeah, that’s not really normal turkey behavior.”

“Could they be rabid?”

“Turkeys don’t get rabid, Sam.”

“They don’t attack hunters either. Is ‘death by wild turkey’ what you’ll put on their death certificates?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Well, that’s what I’ll put as my story headline then. It’ll be in tomorrow’s paper.”

“Make sure when you write it up, people know that ‘wild turkey’ is a bird and not liquor.”

“How can you joke when you have these poor fellows on the slab over there?”

“It’s a job. You get used to it.”

So What Do you Think of Day 1 of Literary Gifts?

Literary Gifts 
2021 Reviews Zombie Turkeys Audible
Audiobook cover – click to listen.

Tell me and I’ll give you a free copy of Zombie Turkeys! Just click here or email me at [email protected].

Are you curious to listen to the audiobook? Click here to listen to a sample.

If you want more gifts like these, just sign up for my newsletter by clicking here. I give away free copies of my books. Each of the next 25 days will be in the newsletter.

Or you can just stay here, checking back every day until Christmas.

Posted on

Happy Undead Mother-in-law’s Day–Or Valentine’s Day

“What’s ‘Happy Undead Mother-in-law Day? I know all about Valentine’s Day. That’s today. What’s up with Happy Undead Mother-in-law?”

Happy Undead Mother-in-law
My Undead Mother-in-law. Get it for your mother-in-law! Click here.

I’m glad you asked! It so happens My Undead Mother-in-law begins on Valentine’s Day. As the book opens, the family has dinner together, the undead zombies and the normal family members. Naturally, we celebrate it every year.

Here’s 2018’s celebration. 

All of 2017 was dedicated to My Undead Mother-in-law.

What’s that you say? You’d actually like to hear that scene? It so happens I’ve recorded myself reading it right here:

Andy Zach reads from ‘My Undead Mother-in-law’.

But maybe you want to read it yourself. No problem! I’ve got a free excerpt of chapter 1 right here for my faithful blog readers. Just drop me a note and I’ll send it to you.


Happy Undead Mother-in-law’s Day – You Can’t Afford a copy?

This is a common problem. You can’t afford the $17.95 for the audiobook version, the $12.95 for the print version, or even $2.99 for the ebook version.

Good news! I’m giving away a free paperback or ebook and an audiobook at the end of this month. Enroll right now the in the drawing.

You can also read the book for free on Kindle or Audible.

Finally, if you’re desperate, you can always do what I do when I want to read a book and not pay for it. Go to Amazon and click on the ‘Look Inside’ button and read random sections until you’ve read it all.

One more thing: here’s a Happy Undead Mother-in-law Review

Why is this my favorite review? It’s from a professional author who doesn’t like zombie books, yet loved My Undead Mother-in-law..


Stephanie Barr

4.0 out of 5 stars

Not your standard zombie tale

December 28, 2018Format:

Kindle Edition

Verified Purchase

When I started to read this book, I was leery. As far as I know, I’m less interested in zombies than anyone on the planet. How could I give a reasonable review? Turns out, it wasn’t hard at all. I’ve said before and it turned out to be true here that, if you have a ridiculous premise that’s hard to swallow, run with it, normalize it, and readers /viewers will eventually accept. And it worked. The original premise of cognizant, virtually indestructible zombies was lobbed and backed until I was a believer, actively rooting for zombies. Plenty of (bloodier than average) action, some smiling, if not guffaw humor, a nice fulfilling story arc in an easy readable length made for a fun book (if bloody action doesn’t bother you) with charm that didn’t take itself to seriously but still capable of many a tender and touching moments.

I’m glad my prejudice didn’t keep me from enjoying this out-of-the-common-way story.

Happy Undead Mother-in-law’s Day – Now What’s Next?

Later this month I’ll have my cover reveal for my next novel, Secret SupersWatch this blog or my Facebook page  for the exact date. I’m waiting to get all the pieces of the book together: interior text (being edited), chapter titles, and back copy blurb.

Once it’s all together, I assemble it and schedule my publication and launch dates.

Here’s a cover tease:

Happy Undead Mother-in-law
Aubrey, from the cover of Secret Supers.

But that’s not all! I’ve scheduled my first author appearance this year. See this next Facebook post from my page.

My goal is at least twelve author appearances this year. I’ll let you know as I schedule them.