Posted on 1 Comment

Your Nineteenth Literary Gift of 25 Gifts

Produce Your Audiobook Secret Supers in Space

Your Nineteenth Literary Gift of 25 Gifts to Christmas. Come along as we ride at Coaster World, where the Secret Supers are enjoying their summer vacation from seventh grade. It’s a good thing the part can accommodate four disabled teens. This excerpt is from my Villain’s Vacation novel.

Let me know what you think by clicking here or emailing me at [email protected]. As always, everyone who responds with a comment or email will get a free book from me.

My past gifts to you are here:

If you want to keep track of all my blog posts and get free books you can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

Your Nineteenth Literary Gift: From Secret Supers in Space

Your NIneteenth Literary Gift

 The Secret Supers met at the rocket launch field after lunch. Only Dancer wore his orange-and-black uniform, complete with a black mask. We discovered wearing the uniform under our coveralls was too hot in the Alabama sun. Even the coveralls were discarded for shorts and T-shirts for this occasion.

“You ready, Dancer?” I held him in my lap on my chair.

Dancer stood and saluted.

“Here we go.” I picked him up and carefully placed him in the rocket payload section. I put my eye up to the tinted porthole in the passenger section and saw Dancer inside, looking back at me.

“Now the phone.” I pushed the phone into the clear tube above the passenger section. It had a round black bulkhead with controls that allowed Dancer to use the phone from his capsule. Then I fitted the nose cone on.

I double-checked the igniters on the three engines that powered the rocket. The nichrome wires were bent and fit into the engine nozzles and held in place by tape.

“We’re all ready, gang. Whoa, feel how heavy this is, Dan.” I handed him the rocket.

“Sure this will fly, Jeremy?” Dan hefted the rocket in his hands.

“Oh, yeah. Those engines pack quite a punch. There’ll be a total of forty newtons of thrust.”

“What’s a newton, Jeremy?”

“That’s a measure of force, Aubrey. Forty newtons is like ninety pounds.”

“So even a one-pound rocket will take off like you hit it with a sledgehammer.” Aubrey whistled. “How high will Dancer  go?”

“According to my simulation program, about one hundred and eighty feet.”

The public address blared: “NEXT ROCKET: DANCER EXPRESS. PLEASE MOUNT IT ON THE LAUNCHER.”

“Here we go! Dan, you mount it. You’re taller, so you can get it on the launch rod.”

Hamster into the Blue

Your Nineteenth Literary Gift

Dan and Aubrey walked over to the launch rack together. The rail had room for six rockets, each with its electrical clips for ignition and a blast deflector. The frame was three feet tall, with three-foot launch rods to guide the rockets after ignition.

Dan lifted the rocket over the launch rod and threaded it through the launch guides. Aubrey attached the alligator clips to the ignitors Jeremy had rigged. Jeremy and Kayla checked everything.

Aubrey peered into the porthole on the rocket.

“Dancer is waving!”

You might want to keep it quiet. Someone might get suspicious.

“Oh, right. Thanks, Kayla.”

“Countdown, rocketeers,” said the launch controller over a loudspeaker. “10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1—ignition!”

Six rockets flared on the launching rail and leapt into the blue sky.

As the largest and heaviest rocket, the Dancer Express was the slowest. We could see the rocket reach apogee and arch over. The rocket broke apart with a puff of smoke as the parachute ejected. One rocket part floated on a big orange-and-black parachute, and the other fell to the Earth.

“Oh no! The recovery cord broke!” I cried as I looked through my binoculars.

Oh No!

Your Nineteenth Literary Gift

“Is Dancer in danger?”

“No, Aubrey, the payload tube is coming down slowly with the parachute. He should be okay. But the engine tube broke away from the parachute and is falling. Watch out, team!”

“Stay clear, everyone! Falling rocket,” the launch controller announced.

“I’ll go get it, Jeremy.” Aubrey ran to pick up the fallen rocket part.

“Uh-oh.”

What’s up, Jeremy?

“The wind’s picking up, Kayla. He’s worried about recovering Dancer,” Dan frowned, putting his hand on his head.

It’s not too high, only about a hundred feet to go.

“But it’s blowing right into the woods!” I began driving my wheelchair over the grass to the woods. I bumped crazily, but I didn’t care. Dan and Kayla followed. Kayla hung on to his arm.

Aubrey ran back with the engine tube and caught up to them. “I got it. Now let’s get Dancer.” She put the tube in the rocket holder I had rigged on the back of my wheelchair.

We followed the drifting rocket right into the woods. Then we lost sight of it in the trees.

“I’ll find it!”Aubrey ran ahead of us.

Help is Coming!

Your Nineteenth Literary Gift

“I’m so worried we’ll lose Dancer,” I said.

Don’t worry. We’re the Secret Supers. We can find him.

“Thanks for reminding me, Kayla. You’re right. I’m my fillings are falling out on this rough ground.” I unbuckled my seatbelt and floated into the air.

“Whoa, Jeremy. I know we’ve got to find Dancer, but there are people behind us coming into the woods.”

“Thanks, Dan. At least I can make my wheelchair smoother.” I floated back into my seat, and the whole chair lifted a couple inches off the ground. “Tell me if anyone can see me and I’ll let it down.”

“Will do.”

“I see the rocket!” They heard Aubrey’s voice several hundred feet ahead of them.

“We’ll just stay ahead of the other people.” I floated Dan and Kayla in the air beside me,and we zoomed through the woods.

Ooh! This is like the chase through the woods in Endor.

“What’s Endor?”

That’s a scene in Star Wars, Return of the Jedi.

“I’ve got to catch up with all these movies I’ve never seen.”

Oops. Sorry, Dan.

“No problem. I’ve been blind since birth, and I’ve missed a lot of the movies you guys know. Now we can watch it together, and I can watch it through your eyes.”

Let’s make that a date!

“There’s Aubrey,” I said. We slowed down next to a large pine and settled in the fragrant needles beneath it. Fifty feet up, we saw the parachute and the payload section snagged in a branch.


Your Nineteenth Literary Gift Concludes

What do you think of your latest gift? Let me know right here. Don’t forget I’ll give you a free book after I get your email.

If you like Secret Supers in Space you can subscribe to my newsletter here to see all my blog posts and get free books every month. Or you can just stay at my blog, checking back every day until Christmas.

Psst! Audible lets you listen free to my books. Click here right now to find out how.

Posted on 4 Comments

Your Eighteenth Literary Gift of 25 Gifts

Villain's Vacation cover What is it like?

Your Eighteenth Literary Gift of 25 Gifts to Christmas. Come along as we ride at Coaster World, where the Secret Supers are enjoying their summer vacation from seventh grade. It’s a good thing the part can accommodate four disabled teens. This excerpt is from my Villain’s Vacation novel.

Let me know what you think by clicking here or emailing me at [email protected]. As always, everyone who responds with a comment or email will get a free book from me.

My past gifts to you are here:

If you want to keep track of all my blog posts and get free books you can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

Your Eighteenth Literary Gift: From Villain’s Vacation

Your Eighteenth Literary Gift
Villain's Vacation cover What is it like?
Villain’s Vacation cover

 “Mac’s coming here now.”

He came in the door, walked to our table, and sat. “Sorry, but we weren’t able to find the kidnapper. We found the radio transmitter on the roof of the hotel. It had been left on to lead us there. We went through the hotel registry, but no one was on our list of terrorists or criminals in the country or the world. We talked with all the hotel residents, but everyone had an alibi when the kidnapping occurred.”

“That cuts it,” said Dad. “The villain is loose. We’re going home.”

“You might be safer here,” Mac said.

“What? How could that be?” asked Mom.

“We’re getting more Special Forces and plainclothes operatives here. We’ve got to get this criminal. What’s to stop them from following you back to Maryville and kidnapping you there?”

We sat silent, digesting our meal and this news.

“Crap. We can’t be safe in Maryville?” Dad looked Mac in the eye.

“I don’t think so. The Secret Supers destroyed a criminal hideout there this spring, sponsored by an international gang of criminals. This may be the same gang.

“I feel sick.” Mom covered her face with her hands.

Dan joked, “Maybe because the hamburgers were greasy?”

An Interruption

Your Eighteenth Literary Gift

Just then Mrs. Robinson scooted up to our table in her walker. “There you are! I haven’t seen you since the boat ride. I’ve had so much fun with you, I wondered if you’d like to take the tour plane around the park and Lake Erie with me tomorrow. It’s about an hour tour.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Robinson, but we’re in the middle of a family planning meeting now. Could we get back with you?”

“Of course, Mr. Gentle. I’m sorry to interrupt. Do you have my cellphone?”

“I do,” I said

“Me too,” Dan added.

“I’m always misplacing my cellphone, so I don’t usually get people’s numbers,” said Aubrey.

“We’ll call you back when we’re free,” came Kayla’s response from her tablet.

“I’ll wait to hear from you.” She rolled away with one wheel on her walker squeaking.

The Security Plan

Your Eighteenth Literary
2021 Reviews
Villain’s Vacation Audio book

“I have a security plan for your family and the Secret Supers,” Mac told Dad.

“What?”

“We’ll provide an escort for each of you. That’ll leave me with other squad members to watch the area and the crowds around you. We should be able to catch the criminals if they try anything.”

“Will these guys go in the restrooms with us?” asked Aubrey.

“We have female operatives for you, Kayla, and Mrs. Gentle.”

“Let’s do it! I don’t want to go home,” Dan punched his fist into his palm.

“It doesn’t look like we have much choice,” said Dad.

“I would feel better having everyone escorted. I think we’ve given you children too much freedom,” said Mrs. Gentle.

“Nah, there we disagree, Denise. Some crazed criminal is not a usual danger. Our kids have been very responsible. So far.” Dad looked at all of us with narrowed eyes.

“Still, you should have told us after the first kidnapping,” said Mrs. Gentle.

“You’re right, Mom. No more Secret Supers to you and Dad,” I held my right hand up and the other over my heart.

Dad smiled. “We can be Alfred to your Batman, Jeremy. In on your secret, but discreet.”

“Let’s try this security arrangement out on the Galactic Black Hole. I want to ride that again,” Dan said.

“Okay,” said Mrs. Gentle, “but we’re going too. I want us all to stick together. I haven’t been on a coaster for ten years.”

The Galactic Black Hole

Your Eighteenth Literary Gift
quasar tsunami
quasar tsunami

We got into the coaster line like the animals going onto Noah’s ark: two by two. I barely needed to use my cane. I could read the mind of my agent next to me. He was worried about attack vectors. I asked him, “What’s your name?”

“Ed.”

That was all I got out of him. He didn’t want to talk. I skimmed the minds of the others in our group: Ann was with Aubrey, Barb with Kayla, Chip with Jeremy, Don with Mr. Gentle, and Fran with Mrs. Gentle.

I whispered to Kayla as she stood in front of me in line. “Their names are alphabetical.”

I think those are just code names.

“Mac too?”

Probably.

There’s another limitation of mind reading. I couldn’t delve into memories. The person had to recall the memory. If they used a code name I couldn’t tell.

We jumped into the coaster. “I had the front car the first time. This time, I want to ride in the back. I want to get the full experience,” I said to Ed as he settled next to me.

“Uh-huh.”

Roller Coaster

Writer's Block: My Experience
Chapter icon from Villain’s Vacation

Great conversationalist. But the ride was even better than it had been the day before. A couple of times, even Ed was surprised by a dip or turn that hurled us against the lap restraint. Kayla screamed her head off, as usual. I used her eyes to get a view of the stars and galaxies displayed around us.

We went around a turn and everything went black. I knew a big dip was coming. I was wrong. A huge hand encircled my chest. I felt the restraint fly off my lap as I was jerked into the air.

I took a big breath to yell, but the hiss of gas was the last thing I remembered.

Your Eighteenth Literary Gift Concludes

What do you think of your latest gift? Let me know right here. Don’t forget I’ll give you a free book after I get your email.

If you like Villain’s Vacation you can subscribe to my newsletter here to see all my blog posts and get free books every month. Or you can just stay at my blog, checking back every day until Christmas.

Psst! Audible lets you listen free to my books. Click here right now to find out how.

Posted on 5 Comments

Your Fourteenth Literary Gift of 25 Gifts

Happy Mother's Day

Your Fourteenth Literary Gift of 25 Gifts to Christmas. Author Andy Zach here and today you will laugh!

Why? It’s the My Undead Mother-in-law, Diane Newby, who is here helping a poor cattle farmer in West Peoria. You never knew someone with glowing red eyes could be so entertaining! Your free excerpt is below.

Let me know what you think by clicking here or emailing me at [email protected]. As always, everyone who responds with a comment or email will get a free book from me.

My past gifts to you are here:

If you want to keep track of all my blog posts and get free books you can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

Your Fourteenth Gift: My Undead Mother-in-law

Chapter 2 – West Peoria

Your Fourteenth Literary Gift
SciFi Story Fuel My Undead Mother-in-law
My Undead Mother-in-law cover. Click to get yours.

Richard Felix, the owner of Prairie Cattle Farm of West Peoria, surveyed the fifty head of cattle grazing on the hills of his farm in the Kickapoo River Valley on a frosty February morning. A flicker of motion caught his eye to the left.

One of his cows bawled as a long brown body leapt upon the cow’s back, ran toward the head, and savagely ripped off her ear. Dozens more of the animals attacked the cow’s udder and underbelly.

Dumbfounded, Richard stared as the bleeding cow crumpled to her knees. Were those giant weasels? Rats? He couldn’t quite place them, although they seemed familiar. He ran to the barn and grabbed his shotgun. By the time he came back, the cow had been reduced to a bloody skeleton. Its furry attackers were nowhere to be seen.

Shaking, he dialed the Zombie Turkey Hotline with difficulty. He didn’t know who else to call.

“Zombie Turkey Hotline, Sam Melvin here.”

“Help! Something attacked one of my cows and ate it alive!”

“What? Calm down. Tell me the whole story.”

“There’s not much more to tell. I was looking at my cows this morning in the field, and I saw one get attacked by dozens of furry brown somethings.”

“I’ll be right there.” West Peoria was just a half an hour from Midley.

Cow Death

Your Fourteenth Literary Gift
My Undead Mother-in-law Audiobook
My Undead Mother-in-law Chapter 2 icon

Sam found Richard in the middle of his field, studying the cow skeleton with another man.

“Hi, I’m Sam Melvin, investigative reporter for the Midley Beacon.

“Thanks for coming. I’m Richard Felix, the owner of Prairie Cattle Farm. This is Steve Cole, our local animal control officer.”

“Hi. What have you found out?”

“Whatever it was, was amazingly savage. It was like a pack of land piranhas,” Steve said.

“Did you get any footprints?”

“No. Between the churned mud and the frozen ground, I couldn’t find anything identifiable. They were brown furry quadrupeds with sharp teeth, weighing thirty to forty pounds,” Steve said.

“How are you going to catch them?”

“I assume they’re some kind of zombies. No natural animal acts like that. I’ll stake out another cow tonight, surround her with a ring of gasoline, and burn the crap out of them,” Richard said.

The Undead Mother-in-law to the Rescue

Your Fourteenth Literary Gift
Happy Mother's Day
Diane Newby, in her natural environment.

“Say, I’ve got an idea,” Sam said.

“What’s that?”

“Mind if I bring a friend who might be able to control these animals?”

“Good luck with that! They’re killers! You see this skeleton? That cow weighed a thousand pounds, and it was reduced to that in two minutes. I wouldn’t want that to happen to your friend.”

“Somehow, I don’t think that’ll happen to her. You see, she’s a zombie, Diane Sydney. She controlled a flock of zombie turkeys last week.”

“Yeah, I think I read something about that. I want her to sign a liability release form if she wants to try anything. I can’t guarantee anyone’s safety on my farm now. You too, Sam, if you stay overnight.”

“OK. Will do.” By this time, dangerous zombie situations no longer fazed Sam.

Sam flew Diane in from Gary on the Midley Beacon’s plane. She arrived at the Peoria International Airport, private aviation, where their plane was based. Sam met her on the cold, dark tarmac. She smiled to the point of wrinkling her red eyes, showing excitement.

Can A Zombie Mother-law-law defeat an unknown zombie?

Your Fourteenth Literary Gift
My Undead Mother-in-law back cover
My Undead Mother-in-law back cover, no blurb.

“Hi, Sam! Thanks for flying me in. I’ve never been in one of these single-engine planes before! I’m thrilled you called me! I’m sure I can deal with whatever these zombies are. I’d hate to see another cow lose its life.”

“You know these things stripped a cow to its bones in two minutes?”

“No problem! It’ll take me less than two minutes to assert my dominance.”

“Good luck—you’ll need it.”

“No luck—just good old zombie perseverance!”

Sam adjusted his night-vision goggles, and he, Diane, and Richard took turns watching the poor old bovine staked out in the field, near where the other cow had died, from an outbuilding. As the gray morning dawned, the furry creatures attacked the cow.

“Oh no you don’t!” Diane shouted and sprang into action. She covered the fifty yards to the cow in world-record time, especially over frozen, snowy ground. She grabbed two of the creatures and smashed their heads together with a splat, like two tomatoes bursting. Dozens of them jumped upon her.

The End of Your Fourteenth Literary Gift

Your Fourteenth Literary Gift
Funny Novel
Andy Zach’s Tombstone

“Which!” Diane grabbed two more from her back, hanging on with their teeth, and hurled them so hard into the frozen ground they each made a red-lined crater.

“One!” She batted two attacking from the front into an oak tree thirty feet away, where they fell, broken.

“Is!” With her other leg, she kicked one biting her calf. It landed a hundred yards away, breaking the ice on the frozen Kickapoo Creek.

“The!” Diane clapped her hands together on one leaping for her throat. The body collapsed with a spray of blood, coating her from head to toe and spraying twenty feet away.

“Boss!” The remaining creatures cowered before her savagery. There was at least three dozen remaining. They rolled over on their backs, exposing their bellies in submission.

“Oh, aren’t you cute!” Diane exclaimed, wiping blood and gore from her face, cleaning her hands in the snow and petting the nearest animal.

“Why, they’re corgis!” Sam exclaimed. “They are cute—when they’re not eating cows. Even with red eyes.”

What Do You Think of Your Fourteenth Literary Gift?

Your Fourteenth Literary Gift
Best August Videos
Zombie corgi butt, from ‘Paranormal Privateers’ now in audiobook

What do you think of your gift? Let me know right here. Don’t forget I’ll give you a free book after I get your email.

If you like My Undead Mother-in-law, you can subscribe to my newsletter here to see all my blog posts and get free books every month. Or you can just stay at my blog, checking back every day until Christmas.

Psst! Audible lets you listen free to my books. Click here to find out how.