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Have You Ever Heard Zombie Turkeys? Audio Excerpts!

Fun Links
Get Your Zombie Turkeys Laughter
Hear
Zombie Turkeys front cover. Click to get a your excerpt!

Have You Ever Heard Zombie Turkeys? I’ve got audio excerpts and written excerpts for you.

Why am I telling you? I’m giving away free copies of Zombie Turkeys on September 1st & 2nd, 2024. Click here to claim yours.

First, I’ve got written Zombie Turkeys excerpts for you.

The first excerpt I ever published on my blog is here, from November 18, 2016.

But maybe a section of Chapter 1 doesn’t satisfy you.

You can always click and go to Amazon and get your chance to read free online. You can read into chapter 2 at Amazon.  If you have Kindle, you can read the whole book for free. Or you can buy the ebook for .99.  You can get the paperback here on Amazon, or on this very website. I’ll give you free shipping too!

You can also listen to the audio sample at Amazon or Audible .

If you subscribe to Audible, you can read Zombie Turkeys or My Undead Mother-in-law for free.  To subscribe, click the US link. the UK link,  or the DE link. Did you even know I have a DE (Deutche, German) website?

Have You Ever Heard Zombie Turkeys Excerpts!

You can’t forget these four audio excerpts, read by yours truly, Andy Zach. First:

Next you have this one:


Then there’s the third excerpt:

Finally you have the fourth and last video here:

Have You Ever Heard Zombie Turkeys Excerpts? Professional Version!

Have You Ever Heard Zombie
Have You Ever Heard Zombie Turkeys

I hired professional voice actors Phil Blechman and Raven Perez for Zombie Turkeys audiobook. Listen here: Zombie Turkeys audio

What do you think? Leave a comment or send me a note by clicking here.

Have You Ever Heard Zombie Reviews?

While I was busy running writing books, my beloved book fans were writing book reviews.

Here’s one:

Sep 11, 2018

Lirio Marchito rated it liked it

I received a free copy of this book in return for an honest review.

Apart from being called a zombie in the office, because I used to work too long till my eyes turned red and legs felt so tired they often moved like a dead-man-walking, I have never had much proximity to zombies or zombie-hero-stories. I have watched a few movies where zombies were always portrayed as creepy and villainous. So I always associated them with the gory horror films or novels. Having always read only the stereotyped versions of a zombie, Andy Zach’s fun and humorous take on zombies came as a laughter riot to me.

Diane Newby, ‘the undead mother-in-law’ reminded me of many minority rights activists in my country, but unlike them, she is strong- physically and mentally, doesn’t victimize herself but is a true, witty heroine. She became a zombie by accident but instead of looking at it with terror or grief; she learns to enjoy the fun and positive aspects of it: being dead-proof, aging-proof, and disease-proof! She fights against the stigma associated with ‘zombification’ and advocates the use of zombie blood to cure elderly and disabled people. She is not alone in her pursuits but is helped by her husband George, son Don and his wife Maggie (also zombies). Through her son-in-law Ron Yardley’s blog she is introduced to Sam and Lisa Melvin, editors of Midley Beacon, a one-stop online newspaper for zombie news. Through them, she is taken to the battle fronts to fight national catastrophes like zombie turkeys, corgis etc.

First Review Second Part


Apart from the fun narration of an unlikely-to-ever-happen-story, I also enjoyed some other aspects of this book. One was the clever use of excerpts from Ron Yardley’s blog in the narration. It worked really well for striking home a point or an emotion. I also enjoyed the antagonist and his versatile use of latest technology weapons, whether it is cyborgs, controlling chips or hyperloops. I also loved the references to real life people like Elon Musk, Obamas or Trump.

I wish the author good luck with all his works.  Interested readers can find out more about the author and his books at andyzach.net Happy reading 

New Reviews Third Part

And here’s the next:

“The book cover is perfect! The story is a creative, funny & unique parody of the “zombie” genre. Don’t read it if you have no sense of humor or hate zombie books. I wasn’t rolling on the floor laughing, but definitely giggling in places in between some good action scenes. If you like Mel Brooks or Monty Python movies, you probably have the right sense of humor for this book.”

Next, for a chuckle, try this cartoon.


One More Thing . . .

It’s not a Free Zombie Turkeys Excerpt, but it’s free! Get some free audiobooks from my newletter! Click here for free audiobooks.

Finally, there’s this image:

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Have You Ever Heard Zombie Turkeys? Get Your Audio Excerpts Here

Fun Links
Get Your Zombie Turkeys Laughter
Hear
Zombie Turkeys front cover. Click to get a your excerpt!

Have You Ever Heard Zombie Turkeys? I’ve got audio excerpts and written excerpts for you.

Why am I telling you? I’m giving away free copies of Zombie Turkeys on September 1st & 2nd, 2024. Click here to claim yours.

First, I’ve got written Zombie Turkeys excerpts for you.

The first excerpt I ever published on my blog is here, from November 18, 2016.

But maybe a section of Chapter 1 doesn’t satisfy you.

Zombie Turkeys Chapter 1 Icon
Zombie Turkeys Chapter 1 Icon

You can always click and go to Amazon and get your chance to read free online. You can read into chapter 2 at Amazon.  If you have Kindle, you can read the whole book for free. Or you can buy the ebook for .99.  You can get the paperback here on Amazon, or on this very website. I’ll give you free shipping too!

You can also listen to the audio sample at Amazon or Audible .

If you subscribe to Audible, you can read Zombie Turkeys or My Undead Mother-in-law for free.  To subscribe, click the US link. the UK link,  or the DE link. Did you even know I have a DE (Deutche, German) website?

Have You Ever Heard Zombie Turkeys Excerpts!

You can’t forget these four excerpts. First:

Next you have this one:


Then there’s the third excerpt:

Finally you have the fourth and last video here:

Have You Ever Heard Zombie Turkeys Excerpts? Professional Version!

Have You Ever Heard Zombie Turkeys

I hired professional voice actors Phil Blechman and Raven Perez for Zombie Turkeys audiobook. Listen here: Zombie Turkeys audio

New Reviews for You

While I was busy running hither and yon, my beloved book fans were writing book reviews.

Here’s one:

Lirio Marchito

Sep 11, 2018Lirio Marchito rated it liked it
Shelves: series
I received a free copy of this book in return for an honest review.

Apart from being called a zombie in the office, because I used to work too long till my eyes turned red and legs felt so tired they often moved like a dead-man-walking, I have never had much proximity to zombies or zombie-hero-stories. I have watched a few movies where zombies were always portrayed as creepy and villainous. So I always associated them with the gory horror films or novels. Having always read only the stereotyped versions of a zombie, Andy Zach’s fun and humorous take on zombies came as a laughter riot to me.

Diane Newby, ‘the undead mother-in-law’ reminded me of many minority rights activists in my country, but unlike them, she is strong- physically and mentally, doesn’t victimize herself but is a true, witty heroine. She became a zombie by accident but instead of looking at it with terror or grief; she learns to enjoy the fun and positive aspects of it: being dead-proof, aging-proof, and disease-proof! She fights against the stigma associated with ‘zombification’ and advocates the use of zombie blood to cure elderly and disabled people. She is not alone in her pursuits but is helped by her husband George, son Don and his wife Maggie (also zombies). Through her son-in-law Ron Yardley’s blog she is introduced to Sam and Lisa Melvin, editors of Midley Beacon, a one-stop online newspaper for zombie news. Through them, she is taken to the battle fronts to fight national catastrophes like zombie turkeys, corgis etc.

First Review Second Part


Apart from the fun narration of an unlikely-to-ever-happen-story, I also enjoyed some other aspects of this book. One was the clever use of excerpts from Ron Yardley’s blog in the narration. It worked really well for striking home a point or an emotion. I also enjoyed the antagonist and his versatile use of latest technology weapons, whether it is cyborgs, controlling chips or hyperloops. I also loved the references to real life people like Elon Musk, Obamas or Trumps. As a point to improve, I would suggest one more round of editing for this book. Errors are not serious, but in many places I could see spaces missing or unwanted words popping up in otherwise perfect sentences. Also, I would have preferred reading time in the format Hour: Minutes (19:00) instead of say 1900. (I am not sure if this format was used purposefully.)

Overall, this is a fun book to read. I would recommend it to everybody who loves Zombie stories or the genre humour. My rating for the book is 3 out of 5 stars – I liked it 🙂 . Even though it is the second book in the series ‘Life After Life Chronicles’, it is not necessary to read the first book ‘Zombie Turkeys’ to understand the second.

I wish the author good luck with all his works. 🙂 Interested readers can find out more about the author and his books at andyzach.net Happy reading 😉

New Reviews Third Part

And here’s the next:

“The book cover is perfect! The story is a creative, funny & unique parody of the “zombie” genre. Don’t read it if you have no sense of humor or hate zombie books. I wasn’t rolling on the floor laughing, but definitely giggling in places in between some good action scenes. If you like Mel Brooks or Monty Python movies, you probably have the right sense of humor for this book.”

Next, for a chuckle, try this cartoon.


One of the great things about becoming an author is that can plug into an existing community of authors. I’ve had a lot of fun getting to know them. Here are some of them:

One More Thing . . .

It’s not a Free Zombie Turkeys Excerpt, but it’s free! Get some free science fiction from one of my author friends.

Finally, there’s this image:

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3 Tax Tips For Authors Business Owners

Authors Business Owners

3 Tax Tips For Authors Business Owners and Side Hustlers From Zombie Turkeys

Here’s a blog post I wrote for Michael Dinich’s blog, “3 Tax Tips For Authors, Business Owners And Side Hustlers From Zombie Turkeys”.

Enjoy!

3 Tax Tips from Zombie Turkeys For Authors Business Owners

Authors Business Owners
Zombie Lady Maximizing Tax Returns

More precisely, 3 Tax Tips from the author of Zombie Turkeys, the comic paranormal animal adventure. Turkeys, even zombie turkeys, are good at gobbling, not at taxes. So I, author Andy Zach, must step in for my paranormal animal friends.

I don’t know about you, but I start my taxes in December, finish in January, and file in February. Yes, I know that’s early, but since I usually plan to get a refund, I want to get my money as soon as possible. Since this is my third year as an author, but my fortieth year filing my own taxes (you do the math!) I thought I’d share what works for me as an author: 3 Tax Tips From Zombie Turkeys.

Authors Business Owners
Public Domain 1040 image

Objections?

What??? You don’t care? You’re not an author? Well, do you pay taxes? If you do, you still might find this post useful. Otherwise, go read Zombie Turkeys!

Authors Business Owners
Zombie Turkeys front cover. Click to get a copy!

You wonder why you should listen to the foremost paranormal animal author of comic urban fantasy, instead of say, your tax advisor? Good question! If you have a tax advisor, great! Listen to him or her. But, if you’re running on a shoestring budget, like me, and you’re cheap, like me, and want to do it yourself, then read on! Or maybe you’re the artistic type and you hate taxes and numbers.

No worry! What I will cover doesn’t involve numbers at all! It’s just the best practices I have found over thirty years of tax filing, plus four years as a Management Science major, plus three years of training for my MBA. Finally, plus two years as a published author. Also, later on I give you a free spreadsheet to track your book numbers, the same one I use for Zombie Turkeys.

My Attitude Toward Taxes

Authors Business Owners
Authors Business Owners – Play the tax game and win $ – Monopoly public domain

 

Perhaps you view taxes and filing for taxes as slightly worse than death. Here’s a different approach: treat it as a game, like Monopoly! You go from step to step on your tax form, make sure you fulfill all the requirements, and try to keep as much of your money as possible. If you have money coming back at the end, you win!

Ass-umption

First of all, I’m assuming that you’re using IRS Form 1040 throughout, since you’re an author and you’re running a business. These steps also apply if you’re not an author or businessman. If you use the 1040 short form or the EZ form, the tips work, but you’ll need less of this information. Just follow the IRS instructions for these shorter, simpler forms then review the steps below and pick up what you need.

Authors Business Owners Tip 1: Get all your income documentation

This includes:

  1. All your W-2 forms. These forms document your income. Everyone you work for must give you one of these by January 31st of the following year.
  2. All your interest statements (IRS Form 1099-INT) from all the banks or credit unions where you had any money at any time during the year.
  3. All your business income receipts for the year. You’re an author. You’ve sold books. Track every sale, the price, and the discount off retail.
  4. All your dividend statements from all your stocks your received during the year. (IRS Form 1099-DIV) This may also include insurance companies and credit unions who sometimes give dividends to their depositors.
  5. Any retirement payments from your IRA. (IRS Form 1099G) Yep, they’re counted as income, unless you’ve already paid taxes on them (Roth IRA). Also include any Social Security income you receive. That may be taxable. If you don’t know for sure, talk to a tax advisor.
  6. Any unemployment payments you received during the year. This is illogical; why would one part of the government give you money and another take it away? But taxes have nothing to do with logic.
  7. Your state income tax refund from the previous year. I know this sucks. But the Federal government taxes the tax refund as income.

Authors Business Owners Tip 2: Get All Your Expenses and Gifts

This includes:

  1. All your charitable contributions:  cash, credit/debit card receipts
  2. Any physical gifts receipts
  3. Include all your business expenses. Get all your credit card statements, all your checking account withdrawals, all your Paypal statements. This is a good place to note that your business should have its own bank account, checking account, credit cards, and Paypal account. You might also want to go through your business emails looking for any reference to cash. Why devote so much effort? Every dollar of expense you find reduces your income and your taxes.
  4. Don’t forget all your tax receipts. This includes all state and local income taxes, all sales taxes or all property taxes. The Federal Government allow you to pick one or the other as a deduction. Pick the larger amount.
  5. Finally, collect all your medical expenses. If you’re a Corporation Sole, like I am, then your medical expenses count. Perhaps you’re an LLC or a corporation. In this case you should have recorded your business medical expenses. If this is confusing, skip it and talk to a tax advisor.

Authors Business Owners Tip 3: Get a Good Tax Program

Now that you have all your documentation, use an online tax program like Turbo Tax or TaxAct and follow their instructions step-by-step until the end. I’ve used both Turbo Tax and Tax Act, so I know they’re good. I’m sure there are other good tax programs online. Do a search and check recommendations.

I had you get all the documentation first, because you produce that all year. You need to start at the beginning of the year and collect it all year. We have a simple file folder called “2018 Taxes” and put in documentation all year. Do it.

For my author business, I have email folders for expenses and revenue. I also have paper folders for each. I record all my expenses and book revenues in my Excel spreadsheet. If you’d like a copy, send me a request. I’ll send you a copy free.

You’re All Done! Except for . . .

Double and triple checking your numbers. I ensure that I’ve captured every expense and every piece of income. If you miss an expense, your taxes go up. If you miss an item of income, you can go to prison or be penalized for your missing income taxes, plus ten percent.

I go through each paper receipt, income or expense, twice. The second time I ensure the number is correctly entered in the tax program and if it is, I check the paper.

Electronically, I go through my business income and expenses and ensure the net income or loss on my spreadsheet matches that of the tax program. If not, I review the income and expense entries until I find the error.

Finally, I also count all my book copies so that my physical inventory matches my reported inventory. If it doesn’t, I review my sales and purchases until I find my error.

I just did this for Zombie Turkeys and I was tickled when the income/loss and book totals matched.

That’s all for 3 Tax Tips from Zombie Turkeys! This is author Andy Zach, signing off.

Andy Zach, the foremost comic paranormal animal author in the comic urban fantasy genre.

Authors Business Owners
Andy Zach Author photo

LEGAL DISCLAIMER FOR For Authors Business Owners

“Any tax-related opinions in any part of this document or website (including any links) are not tax advice. The above is a general explanation of tax law and should not be relied upon for your individual circumstances. Tax advice cannot be provided on a general basis, and must be specifically tailored for each individual by his or her particular representative. Any user of this website should seek the advice of a competent, independent tax professional regarding that user’s particular circumstances.

In addition, any tax advice given herein (and in any attachments) is not intended or written to be used, and cannot be used, by any taxpayer for the purpose of (i) avoiding tax penalties or (ii) promoting, marketing, or recommending to another party any transaction or matter addressed therein.”