Zombie Heroes Hired by the President – What is Paranormal Privateers All About?It’s one of my favorite books. It’s my most complex and surprising. So what is it about and why do I like it? I give you a free sample below. It’s in a unique humorous zombie hero genre.
Diane Newby, in her natural environment.
But let’s start at the beginning: My Undead Mother-in-law,introduces the Newbys, a zombie family. The son, Don Newby, shows up in Zombie Turkeys. The family, led by the matriarchal undead mother-in-law Diane Newby, fights for zombie rights and any criminals that cross their paths. It helps that my zombies regenerate from injuries and get stronger each time.
By the end of the book, they’re Zombie Heroes!
This leads to Paranormal Privateers where the President has given them a letter of marquis to fight as privateers on behalf of the United States. They’re given assignments that are too dangerous or sensitive for the US to intervene directly. Like Somalian pirates.
A heavy tread down the stairs announced George Newby. His eyes shone red too, but while Diane was built like a middle-aged woman, George was a classic wide-body. His shoulders filled the stairway. You’d think he was a truck driver or a lineman rather than an accountant.
“Hi, Karen. Hi, Ron,” he rumbled. He hugged his daughter, as if he held a baby bird, and shook my hand without hurting me in his bratwurst fingers. His bright red eyes looked squarely into mine.
“Sharon Windham – tall blonde bodyguard from England. “Her eyes shone bright red under a broad brow, with blonde eyelashes and a square chin. She could be a marble idol from a Greek temple. A zombie goddess”–from Paranormal Privateers
She was a former crime lord bodyguard who switched alliegiance to Diane Newby. Former Crossfit athlete, model, and competitive swimmer.. She deamt of becoming a UN translator. She speaks 11 languages: English, French, German, Norwegian, Swedish, Danish, Chinese, Korean, Arabic, Hebrew, Greek, and Russian. Trained in katana, nunchuks, and naginata.
Darkly beautiful bodyguard from Acapulco Mexico. 5′ 4″ Former cliff diver and rock climber. Former crime lord bodyguard, now protecting Diane Newby. Former MMA fighter and bodybuilder. Trained in katana, nunchuks, and naginata.
I examined my cell methodically. A drainpipe, two inches in diameter. A toilet. A hard bed. A steel door with hinges on the outside. I’d probably need to escape from somewhere other than this cell. Once they established a routine with my interrogation, I’d look for escape routes.
I chuckled to myself. Synthia Smith was my true name, in the sense it matched my birth certificate and other current identification. Before Synthia Smith, I was Rachel Rathbone, and before that Quinella Quincy, and so on, through the alphabet. My earliest memory was a toddler named Betty Botter. I had to be cute and pick pockets. Who knew what my original name was? Changing identities was a standard procedure for me with each new assignment.
This had been my most challenging operation, and I’d almost pulled it off. Those damn zombies! Had I blown up Harrods, the demands for billions in exchange for each national landmark’s safety would have been credible.
They had no idea of the bigger picture—and they wouldn’t get it. My terrorist cover story was completely true, but neither the terrorists nor Scotland Yard knew they were merely a means to an end. It was the truth: total subjugation of the United Kingdom was a reasonable goal for one like me, a child of the world’s greatest criminal.
I knew more about Papa Smith, my ostensible grandfather, than any of my siblings. I think I actually touched his feelings as a loving granddaughter, and I think he shared more with me than with any of his other crime-lord grandchildren. Of course, he might be manipulating me, just as I tried to manipulate him. That was the most reasonable assumption, especially if we were actually related.
What Is Paranormal Privateers All About? – Synthia Smith, Part 2
Regardless, I felt fond of him. When I overthrew him and took over his crime empire, I thought I’d keep him alive. I enjoyed our talks via our secured video line. When he’d shared Sid Boffin’s failure with me, I clapped in delight as he praised me for staying in touch with him. I think that was genuine emotion and not an act. It was hard to tell sometimes.
A motion on the floor caught my eye as I sat on the bed. A cockroach crawled up the drain and onto the floor. Surprising. Usually, Britain kept their prisons pest free. Then another. Then a dozen more. And then, hundreds.
This was not normal cockroach behavior. They did not come into the light in hordes. I sat cross-legged on the bed and watched the swarm with fascination. They climbed the door, walked its steel perimeter, and went back down the drain as others came up.
Curious, I nabbed one using my lightning reflexes. Examining it, I saw a metal dot under its thorax and a narrow tube attached to its abdomen. A pungent, acidic smell came from the tube. I looked back to the door. The acid ate a narrow trench in the door’s perimeter, right where the cockroaches still marched. Near the ceiling light, I saw mist curl away from the door.
Zombie Heroes vs Synthia Smith, Part 3
Modified and controlled cockroaches—like Sid Boffin’s cyborg-controlled animals. I’d read his Ph.D. paper as well as the Midley Beacon‘s declassified reports on his battles with the zombies. Since Sid was dead at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico, this could only be one of my siblings or Papa Smith trying to rescue me.
Using my perfect memory of the twists and turns when they’d led me here hooded, counting my steps, and remembering the doors, I was confident I could retrace the route.
The last of the cockroaches marched around the door, leaving its trail of acid. They etched the door perhaps a centimeter deep. Couldn’t be much left.
I knocked on the door. Yes, it felt like a centimeter thick, and it echoed like it was almost cut through. Then someone knocked back, much harder.
“I’m here!” I called. I assumed this was my rescuer.
“Step back,” grated a curious, tinny voice, like it was coming through a small radio.
I stepped away.
CLUMP! CLUMP! Two metallic thunks hit the other side of the door. Then, SKREERK! The door tore off like the lid of a tin of meat.
I didn’t expect what I saw. A male silverback gorilla filled the doorway and the whole hallway beyond. Thick armor covered his body. Casually, he placed the door scrap against the hall.
This series was too easy to binge, I could not stop listening to the audible audiobooks once I started! This author is brilliant, the narrator(s) in all of the Life After Life chronicles books are wonderful, and the storyline was hilarious. At times I shook my head in disbelief and just cracked up at the ridiculousness surrounding this zombie story. My son is 12 and he listened with me at times and enjoyed the humor and different zombie stories as well!
The cover of my third novel Paranormal Privateers. Click to get yours.
Any newsletter subscriber gets free audiobook codes–as long as they last. Click here to get yours.Don’t wait until they’re gone!
Do you want an autographed book? I’ll mail it directly to you with free shipping and I pay the taxes! Click here to get yours. My shipping may not be the same day, but at least it’s free–for you.
How do 7th graders get superpowers? What superpowers do they have? What kind of teens are they?
Find out in this post!
Discover My Four Heroes – Jeremy and Dan
“What are you doing, Jeremy?”
Jeremy using his telekinesis
Startled, I looked up from my computer and turned around in my wheelchair. My best friend, Dan, had slipped silently into my lab. I still thought of it that way, but we’d made it into the Secret Supers clubhouse almost a year ago. Dan’s round, brown face smiled down at me while his tall, wide frame loomed behind me. His dark glasses hid his blind eyes.
“I didn’t hear you come down the elevator.”
“I took the stairs. Your mom made cookies, so I came over. I could smell them from my house.”
“You mean, you could smell them from my mom’s thoughts?”
“And your’s and your dad’s. You were all excited, so I couldn’t help myself from taking a sniff from your mom’s nose. I didn’t snoop any further than that.”
“I know you respect everyone’s privacy with your mindreading power.”
“Except maybe yours. You did permit me to read yours anytime. But I haven’t read your mind about what you’re concentrating on. C’mon, tell your old friend Dan.”
“Don’t tell anyone. I want to surprise the Secret Supers.”
“Of course not. Now I’m dying to know!”
“I’m applying to Space Camp.”
“What’s Space Camp? I can hear the capital letters in your voice.”
I spun my wheelchair around to face him. “What’s Space Camp? It’s the greatest camp there is! We’re all bored out of our minds now that August has started and we want to do something. Space Camp teaches you all about our space program. You learn about astronauts and rockets. You go on a centrifuge and experience zero-g and moon gravity.
Discover My Four Heroes – Kayla
“Now I know, so we might as well let Kayla and Aubrey know.”
I glanced at my screen clock. “Ten thirty. I can call Kayla, but Aubrey’s at her summer baseball practice.” I speed-dialed Kayla.
“You don’t have to put her on speakerphone. I can read her mind,” said Dan.
I laughed. “You read my mind. I was ready to do that.”
Hello, Jeremy. Kayla’s voice sounded in my mind. Kayla had spinal meningitis and could no longer talk or walk without a walker. I felt sad when I heard her high mental voice, sounding just as she used to talk before losing it.
“Hi, Kayla. I’ve got big news for you and Aubrey: the Secret Supers are going to Space Camp!”
Sounds like fun. I assume it’s all paid for and our parents are on board?
“Right. I researched it, then my parents contacted yours, Dan’s, and Aubrey’s, and everyone agreed. Just now, I applied and got approval. We’ll be gone for a week.”
When?
“The last week in August, just before Labor Day.”
Now I have something to look forward to, instead of another sweltering day. How long does it last?
“A week. We arrive on the last Sunday of the month and leave on Friday.”
Kayla – Part 2
I suppose you want me to tell Aubrey. I’ll give her the message to come over to our Secret Supers room, and we’ll all surprise her when she comes in.
“Great idea, Kayla!” I grinned.
Dan’s head snapped up from the phone and then he leaned back down. “You can tell her now. Her practice was canceled because of a thunderstorm. Boy, is she grumpy!”
“Baseball’s the love of her life,” I said. “A new adventure will cheer her up.”
All right, I told her to meet us there. She’s riding her bike straight from practice.
Dan placed his hand on his head like he does when he’s listening telepathically. “Uh, oh, Kayla, you’d better hurry. She’ll beat you here.”
I didn’t think of that. Mom’s busy at work. I can’t interrupt her, and I can’t bike anymore.
I straightened in my wheelchair. “Let me give you a lift—literally.”
Now you’re reading my mind, Jeremy. I was just about to ask you for help. Are you sending your flying car?
“Nope. Just put on your Secret Supers outfit and I’ll fly you over.”
“I’ll put on mine. It’s here in my backpack.” Dan slid it off his shoulders.
I hadn’t noticed Dan’s backpack. I turned to my phone. “We’ll make it a full club meeting. This’ll be the first time we’ve worn the new costumes your mom made for us, Kayla.”
I modeled mine for Mom. They fit a lot better than the store-bought ones we had, and they’re much sturdier. The old ones were pretty scuffed up.
“Something about fighting ten-foot robots does that.” Dan grinned.
I yelled from the bathroom as I dressed telekinetically, pulling the tights over my legs twisted by a lifetime of cerebral palsy. It did fit better than the old uniform. Even the boots went on better. I loved the material I selected. It was completely air tight and waterproof. It fit beautifully with the other secret enhancements I’d put in. I wondered when I should tell the others about them.
Of course—
THUMP! THUMPITY! THUMP!
I don’t need to read minds to know that’s Aubrey. No one else pounds as she does down the stairs.
The door to the clubroom burst open. “TA-DA! I’m here. I came here at the speed of light, on a bicycle.”
Coming out of the bathroom, I saw Aubrey’s tousled blond hair peeking out of her baseball cap. Sweat beaded her broad forehead. Her black mask and red Secret Supers uniform clashed with her green ball cap. Instead of black boots, her prosthetic legs went to her knees.
I smiled at her. “Aubrey, did you notice how much better these new uniforms fit?”
“Yeah, it doesn’t bind me at all when I run or bike. I could wear it all the time. It’s easy to get on and fits nicely around my stumps. Now tell me what the big news is, Jeremy. Kayla wouldn’t tell me anything!”
Fantastic listen listened to this with my younger brother he really seemed to enjoy this even as I found myself giggling a few times great Voice work and premises highly recommend this to parents looking to get their kids more into books.
Do you want an autographed book? I’ll mail it directly to you with free shipping and I pay the taxes! Click here to get yours. My shipping may not be the same day, but at least it’s free–for you.
Did you like Discover the Four Heroes from Secret Supers in Space? Got questions? Comments? Reach me directly by clicking here. Or you can email me at [email protected] I’ll get back to you as quickly as I can.
My Secret Supers are on summer vacation from 7th grade at a coaster park? Why would international criminals target innocent, 7th-grade superheroes? I’ll tell you why, revealing their motives by excerpts from my book.
If you’re not familiar with my Secret Supers team, I tell you all about them here: Meet My Disabled Superheroes. For each heroic teen (or pre-teen), I’ll give you a description from my book.
A popup window appeared on my computer screen. “Loretta, do you wish to accept a video call from John Smith?” I read. I quickly clicked Accept.
As soon as a black-and-gray-haired man appeared on my computer screen, I said, “Oh, Papa Smith, I want to give up.”
“Why would you do that, Loretta? You’re one of the most successful children in our family business.”
“Bah! Four crummy kids beat me.”
“Well, yeah, but you didn’t know they were there in Maryville and they would come after your agent.”
“Sure, I knew they were there. They were all over the national news this past year.”
“But everyone just thinks they’re regular disabled kids. Heck, Andy Zach published their story as fiction. No one knew they had superpowers until we caught them on video defeating your agent.”
Meet My Villains – Loretta – Part 2
“The telekinesis kid, Jeremy, is really powerful, but the telepathic pair, Kayla and Dan, can’t be stopped or intercepted. That’s before you add a real super girl, Aubrey. Their disabilities gave them the perfect disguises.”
“That’s an idea. What if we publish that video and tell everyone they have superpowers? The fame would disrupt their lives and maybe distract them so we can take over Maryville.”
“Hmmm. Maybe. But that would also point back to us as the source of the video. And people might think it’s just a deep fake.”
He sighed. “You’re right. The government might also enlist them in the NSA or some other secret agency. We don’t want any attention from them. Tell you what. Take a vacation. You haven’t had a break for a long time. Maybe if you do something completely different, you’ll come up with a solution to the Secret Supers.”
“There’s a good idea, Papa. My last one was in Paris? Three years ago?”
“Yes. That was after you successfully rigged that state election and got our candidate elected.”
“What would be a complete change for me? Something outside a city, something fun—I know!”
“What?”
“I’ll go to Coaster World!”
“That’s right. You always loved coasters as a kid.”
“Hi, Loretta. Are you all refreshed from your Paris vacation?”
“Hi, Papa Smith. Yes. I had a lot of fun waterskiing on the Riviera. I also cheated the casino in Monaco out of a million bucks.”
“Of course.
“But now I’m refreshed and bored. I haven’t had a job since I left for Coaster World.”
“I’m glad to hear you say that. I’ve got a challenging assignment for you—the Secret Supers.”
Meet My Villains – Papa Smith, Part 2
“Ugh! I sure want to get back at them. But they’re backed up by the NSA. I’m not eager to tackle them and the US government.”
Papa stroked his hair. “The best cure for falling off a horse is to get back on. How about if I get a partner for you?”
“They’d better be awfully competent. I can’t really work with anyone who’s incompetent, or average, or merely a genius.”
“How about if you and I work together?”
I gasped. Papa Smith had raised me. He’d been very vague about what happened to my parents, so he was the only parent I’d known. I’d dreamt of working with him in the family crime business, but I hadn’t seen much of him once I went to college and began teaching, over fifty years ago. He was the one person I was pretty sure was smarter than me. Or at least he knew more.
“Villain’s Vacation” by Andy Zach, narrated by Michael Stafford, whisks you on a thrilling ride as four disabled seventh graders with superpowers take on Coaster World. The writing is as electrifying as their powers, keeping you glued to each twist and turn. Stafford’s narration brings each character to life, adding an extra layer of excitement to this action-packed adventure.
In this sequel to Secret Supers, Jeremy has been experimenting on his hamster. As a result, Dancer has learned how to read, and is reading everything he can to learn about the human world. When Jeremy discovers this, he gets Dancer one of his old cell phones so Dancer can text the group.
As for the superhero business, the group needs some downtime and goes on vacation to Coaster World. What they don’t realize is that the villain they defeated also loves roller coasters and wants revenge against the Secret Supers.
Will the Secret Supers be able to defeat the villain and enjoy their vacation, or are their crime-fighting days numbered?
This was a fun sequel to Secret Supers. Not only did we have Andy Zach as a character in the book, as though the events were true and actually happened, but I loved the inclusion of a Super-Hamster helping out Jeremy and his friends. In this battle against the villain, the Secret Supers struggle, as the villain seems to have figured out how to neutralize their powers, and they not only have to call in support but also reveal themselves to some non-Supers.
Any newsletter subscriber gets free audiobook codes–as long as they last. Click here to get yours.Don’t wait until they’re gone!
Do you want an autographed book? I’ll mail it directly to you with free shipping and I pay the taxes! Click here to get yours. My shipping may not be the same day, but at least it’s free–for you.
