New Year, Andy Zach’s New Novel Paranormal Privateers
The next year 2018, is just three days away! I’ll post excerpts and tidbits from my New Novel Paranormal Privateers between now and next year. Paranormal Privateers continues the Life After Life Chronicles,
But the Life After Life Chronicles is not over! Prepare for new adventures around the world as our paranormal heroes and heroines travel around the world fighting evil and battling for truth, justice, and the American way!
Get Your New Novel Paranormal Privateers Excerpts Here!
A motion on the floor caught my eye as I sat on the bed. A cockroach crawled up the drain and onto the floor. Surprising. Usually, Britain kept their prisons pest free. Then another. And then a dozen more. Then hundreds.
This was not normal cockroach behavior. They do not come into the light in swarms. I sat cross-legged on the bed and watched the swarm with fascination. They each climbed the door, walked the steel perimeter, and went back down the drain, even as others went up.
Utterly curious, I nabbed one with my lightning reflexes before it descended. Examining it carefully, I saw a metal dot under its thorax and a narrow tube attached to its abdomen. A pungent, acidic smell came from the tube. I looked back to the door. A narrow trench had been eaten in the door’s perimeter, right where the cockroaches still marched. Near the ceiling light, I saw mist curl away from the door.
Modified and controlled cockroaches—that was like Vik Staskas’ cyborg controlled animals. I read his Ph.D. paper on the technology as well as the Midley Beacon’s de-classified reports on his battles with the zombies. Since Vik was dead, at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico, this could only be one of my siblings or Papa Smith trying to rescue me.
New Novel Paranormal Privateers Excerpts – Part 2
Going back through my perfect memory of the twists and turns where they led me here hooded, counting my steps, and remembering the doors, I was confident I could retrace my steps.
The last of the cockroaches marched around the door, leaving its trail of acid. The steel was etched deep, perhaps a centimeter or more. Couldn’t be much left.
I knocked on the door. Yes, it felt like a centimeter thick, and it echoed like it was almost cut through. Then someone knocked back, much harder.
“I’m here!” I called. I assumed this was my rescuer.
“Step back,” grated a curious, tinny voice, like it was coming through a small radio.
I stepped away.
CLUMP! CLUMP! Two metallic thunks hit the other side of the door. Then, SKREERK! The door tore off like the lid of a tin of meat.
I didn’t expect what I saw. A male, silverback gorilla filled the doorway and the whole hallway beyond. Thick armor covered his body. Casually, he placed the door scrap against the hall.
“Follow me,” he said.
Paranormal Privateers Prognosis
First, I’ve written 58,710 words, as of today. I’m partway through chapter 8 – Washington DC. I plan to have fifteen chapters, but I’ve already split three chapters due to length. I’m driving to finish the novel by the end of January.
Then come the edits. First mine, then my line and copy editor, and then my layout editor. My goal is to complete editing by April 1st.
Welcome 2024! Pick Up More Gifts for the 12 Days of Christmas. In this post you can get book excerpts, free, and discounted books for you!
You may be familiar with the 12 days of Christmas song. The actual 12 day festival ran from December 25th to January 6th, also known as Epiphany, when Christians celebrated the appearance of the wise men or magi from the east.
The Secret Supers are bored out of their minds during summer vacation-until they go to Space Camp. They learn all about the space program, try out moon gravity and zero-g simulations, and practice docking with the International Space Station.
But that’s the easy part. The villains they defeated in the past are back with a diabolical plot that renders the middle schoolers’ superpowers ineffective. Jeremy, Aubrey, Dan, and Kayla face the biggest challenge of their lives. Even if they escape the villains’ clutches, will they survive?
Find out in Secret Supers in Space!
Pick Up More Gifts – Seven Swans a-Swimming
Where do I have seven swans a-swimming in my books? How about seven turkeys? Or more? Check out this excerpt from Zombie Turkeys from Chapter 9 – Chicago. Note the aquarium type chapter icon.
They very cautiously looked in the topmost door. The door opened onto a platform looking down on a large pool full of sea creatures–including a great white shark. A man was there at the edge of the pool, blowing a turkey call. “GOBBLE! GOBBLE!” That was the odd sound Sam had heard. The zombie turkeys responded, “Gobble! Gobble!” and advanced en masse on the man, surrounding him. They seemed mesmerized by the call, staring with red eyes, but quietly marching forward. The man wore a khaki, camouflaged hunting outfit, cammo boots, and a full, bushy beard.
Sam called to him, “Hey you! You can escape this way!”
He looked at them, “Yeah, I know. I’ve got to kill these buggers.”
“How will you kill them with a turkey caller?”
Pick Up More Gifts – Excerpt Continues
“By getting them into the pool with me. It’s salt water. I’ve already gone through my ammo!” He jumped into the aquarium.
“Noo! ” Lisa gasped.
From the water he called, ” GOBBLE! GOBBLE!” Like lemmings, the massed turkeys moved forward, plopping into the water like feathered, twenty pound Alka Seltzers. The ones behind pressed the others forward. Soon, hundreds upon hundreds of turkeys covered the surface of the water, like a turkey patterned pool cover.
As soon as they were in the salt water, the zombie turkeys lost their red eyes. They swam as well as turkeys normally do; badly. Then the great white shark hit. Gobbling the turkeys three and four at a time, the shark was delighted to have this extra feeding. This food was so fresh and crunchy!
The shark was an automatic eating machine; bite, crunch, swallow, bite crunch, swallow.
This excerpt is gift number two of seven. (After the Secret Supers in Space) Here are three free books in exchange for a review:
Next, get personal with me, Andy Zach! Talk to me! You can reach me on x.com.
On to more days of Christmas–and gifts!
Pick Up More Gifts – Eight Maids a-Milking
Do I have eight maids a-milking in my writing? Anywhere? Not exactly. I do have eight reporters covering the zombie turkey outbreak for the Midley Beacon and milking it for all it’s worth. This excerpt fromZombie Turkeys, with the Chapter 9 Chicago icon. That’s a turkey caller in the turkey’s mouth. Why? Read and find out.
“I never thought I’d say this, Sam, but I think the story has gotten too big for the Midley Beacon. I’ve added a zombie turkey Twitter feed to our site, but this is way too big for us to be everywhere, even with the six new reporters I’ve hired. I’ve sent one to Bartonville and Peoria, one to Princeville, two to Joliet, one to Tinley Park, and one to Chicago. Chicago alone should have six reporters.”
“Well, let’s go to Chicago then. Three are better than one.”
“I’m with you on that. Lemme give Charlie a call. He’s our guy in Chicago.” She called Charlie Gomez, one of their new reporters. “Hi Charlie, where are you?”
Pick Up More Gifts – Excerpt Part 2
“I can barely hear you. Oh, keep your head down, then. We’ll cover the loop activity then. Ok, good reporting. Stay alive! Report daily or more often! Bye.”
“What’s up with Charlie?”
“He’s in the middle of the zombie turkey firefight in Soldiers Field. It’s quite a melee there. Let’s go to the loop.”
How about eight gifts? In addition to the excerpt above, I’ve got seven books available through free audiobook codes:
Zombie Turkeys fly to escape to Zombie Turkey hunters
Have I got the excerpt for you! I’ve got twenty or more ladies dancing in this scene from My Undead Mother-in-law.
Frank always got hyped up before an operation, but this one was the strangest he’d ever been on. He’d done his time in Afghanistan and Iraq—that was where he’d lost his leg to an IED. When the marine doctors offered him a chance to get it back through zombie blood, he’d leapt upon it like a duck on a bug. Now he was landing a whole platoon of marines on a superyacht of a criminal, to prepare the landing of more zombies.
Things got stranger. Looking at the helipad as he descended, he saw a crowd of hula-skirt-clad girls—good looking ones too! The crowd resolved itself into a formation: a smiley face! As he landed and brought his weapon to ready, he saw each girl carried a basket of leis.
The Dancing Begins
My Undead Mother-in-law cover.
“Welcome! Welcome!” they chorused in their soprano voices. They ran up to put the leis over his head. He kept them away with the bayonet on his automatic shotgun. Laughing, the nearest ones tossed leis over his gun and over his head. “Aloha Oe” blared in the background on the outdoor speakers as the attractive ladies began to sway in a hula dance en masse.
Yellow flowers decorated his head and his rifle. He felt awkward and a right fool. Already the battle plan was out the window.
“Ladies! Please gather over here!” He followed the contingency plan for if they surrendered.
Giggling, the hundred or so beauties compliantly assembled in the landing circle under the V-22, their hair and grass skirts blowing wildly in the hot rotor wash. After tearing his eyes from their shapely legs, he saw his friend Lieutenant Gerber walk up to him, festooned in leis.
“Not bad duty, eh?”
“Something about this smells.”
“Well, here come the zombie bulls. And turkeys.”
Nine gifts? How about nine discounts for autographed books? These paperbacks are discounted from the Amazon price. Get them here:
Welcome 2024 Pick Up More Gifts – Ten Lords a-Leaping
Zombie Detective cover.
I don’t have ten lords a leaping (I do have several dozen drug lords, though). How about leaping hippos? What, you don’t believe me? Check out this hippo excerpt from Zombie Detective.
“Let me finish with the background. We wanted a fast-growing, healthy strain of pigs. I thought, Wouldn’t it be great if they grew as fast as zombie turkeys?”
“Uh-oh.”
“Right. I created a pig modified with zombie turkey and hippo and mouse DNA.”
“What?” Sam’s stomach clenched.
“I won’t go into all my failures with other combinations. This one worked. I get pigs that grow from piglets to full-grown in four weeks.”
“But what’s the catch?”
“They look like hippos. And they grow only to about one pound.”
Micro-hippo
“Sounds more like a failure than a success.”
“They do taste like pork. And they reproduce fast enough to make up for their lack of size. But―” Bryce stopped and sighed.
“Tell me the worst.”
“They escaped my lab. They’re infesting the whole building. People keep finding them in the toilets. It’s very upsetting.”
So, these hippos leap and scamper like rats. Aquatic rats. Here’s a drawing of one from the chapter about them.
You want eight more gifts? Get all my excerpts for each of my books!
Welcome 2024 Pick Up More Gifts – Eleven Pipers Piping
This’ll be a different set of gifts. I love bagpipes. I have a Youtube category of them. So I’ll share my favorite bagpipe videos with you. Eleven of them!
Pick Up More Gifts – Don’t Forget Your Free Book–Until January 9th
First an excerpt:
We arrived at the top. “Time to ship out the Supers.” Papa Smith hauled out Aubrey and Jeremy. I unloaded Kayla and Dan. We lined them up on the floor.
“It’d be so easy to eliminate them here.”
“Yes, Loretta, but the consequences will follow us. And there’s no money in it. Think of each of them as a billion dollars.”
I’m glad you asked! For the first time ever I’m offering all my fiction books with quantity discounts. I’ve sold three for $30 (instead of $36) and five for $40 (instead of $63) in person The last deal is the sweetest–you get Paranormal Privateers, a $15.95 book, for $8, a 50% savings.
