A free what? That’s what you want to know. If you can’t wait, scroll down to the bottom. But then you’ll miss the 3 Fun Links and the 3 Writing Tips.
3 Fun Links
Fun first! Here’s the first fun one!
Note: Spoilers for the film classic ‘Casablanca’, a 76-year-old film.
Then we have the second bit of fun:
How’s your Klingon? If anyone can post the lyrics to Happy Birthday in Klingon, I’ll send you a free ebook of your choice!
Finally, the third fun link, from your favorite comic paranormal animal author, your’s truly!
We Interrupt Your 3 Fun Links for a Freebie Notice
Psst! If you’re not yet a subscriber to our newsletter, here’s your chance! Click here before the link goes down. (Such as in a nuclear attack.) We now return you to 3 Writing Tips and a free . . .
3 Writing Tips and a free . . .
Your first writing tip is right here:
Your second writing tip follows, surprisingly, the first one!
Then, next, we have your third writing tip:
For good measure, I’ll throw in a tip on marketing and getting reviews.
At Last! Your free . . .
You knew I’d drag this out. But it’s worth the wait. It’s a free . . .
I thought I’d review 2017: The year of My Undead Mother-in-law. I know, everyone else does this at the end of 2017. Don’t expect normal behavior from a comic paranormal animal author!
(Hint to impatient people: the good stuff is at the end!)
Long form trailers would be up to five hundred words. Here’s mine:
Sam Melvin, an underachieving e-reporter from a small town, changes forever when he meets turkeys that won’t stay dead. You can shoot ’em, chop ’em, burn ’em – they come back stronger. The undead plague of poultry spreads uncontrollably, rocking the whole country. As Sam tracks down the zombie turkeys and how to eradicate them, his editor, Lisa Kambacher, nags him to turn his stories and expenses in on time. During their years of working together, Lisa has mellowed from bitchy into an irascible pinchpenny.
Lisa snipes at Sam for plebeian writing but uses her intelligence to pursue the lucrative carnivorous turkey story. Sam and Lisa ricochet across the landscape, tracking turkeys and fleeing the bloodthirsty hordes. Careening from shell-shocked grocery store owners fighting turkeys crawling out of refrigerators, to machine-gunning turkey farmers, to secret militia, Sam and Lisa doggedly report. Throughout the turkey apocalypse, they dare ravaged cities, plow knee-deep in gore and corpses, and upload streams of zombie turkey video news to the world.
With paranoid militias clashing with the federal government and unkillable turkeys, Sam and Lisa doubt their ability to survive. Sam and Lisa have no superpowers. If you have a heart condition or lack humor, you should not listen to Zombie Turkeys, no matter how much you want to find out what happens.
Short form trailers would be up to one hundred words. Here’s mine:
Sam Melvin, an underachieving e-reporter from a small town, changes forever when he meets turkeys that won’t stay dead. You can shoot ’em, chop ’em, burn ’em—they come back stronger.
If you have a heart condition or lack humor, you should not read Zombie Turkeys, no matter how much you want to.
![Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World by [Hyatt, Michael]](https://i0.wp.com/images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51-RZ4y3-xL.jpg?w=980&ssl=1)
Audiobook 
