Category: Newsletter

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5 Funny and Weird Things I Found This Month

5 Funny Things

5 Funny and Weird Things I Found while cruising on the internet. I scan through the internet every day. If something tickles my fancy, I post it. Let me know if this tickles YOUR fancy and I’ll give you an audiobook of your choice. Here they are:

5 Funny
Your free audiobooks – click to get. Subscribe then email [email protected]

5 Funny Things – Your First Funny/Weird Thing

Who wouldn’t like a bouquet of dragonettes? I’m sorry I can’t give each of you one. But how about this?

This is your chance to enter this contest

What contest? This one:

Fellow author C.L. Cannon’s giving away books. Find out how to win $200 worth. Click above.

I’m part of this contest, so you can win one of my books too!

Your Second Funny/Weird Thing

Now You’re in the Middle of 5 Funny and Weird Things

Man, there are so many angles to this story! I could write about the insurance claim on the damaged/dead robot. I could write about a robotic lawyer suing the car company, who is defended by another robotic lawyer. Or I could write about a robot mortuary. What would you like to read? Let me know.

Heading Around the Fourth Weird/Funny Bend . . .

There’s a story behind this one. I read Heinlein”s “Methusaleh’s Children” when I was 12. It begins with an exciting chase scene where the hero has a ‘tricar’–a car that can fly and is amphibious, even operating as a submarine. I loved that. I still love amphibious cars, airplane cars, and flying boats. Fifty-two years later.

The Big Finale – My Last Funny/Weird Thing

Gary Larson is one of my favorite cartoonists.

I might as well let you know I’m giving free audiobooks away. They’re simple to get. First, subscribe to my newsletter here.

Then, simply email me at [email protected] or via this website. Be sure to tell me which books you want: one, two, three, or four.

5 Funny Things My 4 free audiobooks
5 Funny Things My 4 free audiobooks

Now, I have one more book that becomes an audiobook this year: Oops! Tales From the Zombie Turkey Apocalypse. I just have a paperback or ebook for you. Signed, of course.

5 Funny Things
Oops! cover. Click to get your signed copy
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5 Cool Links for You I Found this December

You will enjoy these 5 Cool Links I found this December. Let’s start with this amazing prediction from 1953 that came true:

When was this fulfilled? With the iPhone in 2010? That was 57 years later. Make a prediction now for 2077. I’ll give the person with the best prediction your choice of any of my books.

5 Cool Links
Andy’s books, except for one

Here’s my latest book, published last Friday. You can win it with a well-reasoned prediction.

Oops!
Andy Zach’s latest book. Click to get it.

5 Cool Links for December – Your Next One

This link contains 5 cool things all by itself.

The Third Cool Thing – Enter My Book Contest Here

Contest rules

  1. Send me an email ([email protected]) or reply here with why or why not you would go into a space hotel.
  2. I will give you a free book of your choice if your response is factual and well-reasoned.
  3. You must respond before December 31st, 2019

Just in time for Christmas, your fourth cool thing

Did you know St. Nicholas was a Klingon? At least that explains the flying sleigh.

Finally, the last cool thing you’ll see of the 5 Cool Links – before my freebies below

These Triassic reptiles had massive heads. What if they were as intelligent as humans? What kind of civilization would they have? Write some fan fiction about these intelligent creatures, send it to me, and I’ll publish it. And I’ll give you your choice of my books to pick from.

And Now the Free Books, folks

My childhood hero, Ghoulardi

You will get 15 free science fiction and fantasy books here:

15 free books
Click to get 15 free books.

This includes a $30 prize for one lucky winner too. But you have to claim at least one book.

Before you go, why don’t you claim my free book, Secret Supers? It’s the first time I’ve offered it on a free promotion.

Secret Supers
Click to get your free copy!
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Oops! 3 Mistakes I’ve made in Self-publishing

Oops! 3 Mistakes I’ve made in self-publishing since I started with Zombie Turkeys in 2016. I’ve made unique mistakes with each novel, but I’ll cover the big ones in this blog.

Oops! 3 Mistakes
Zombie Turkeys, where my self-publishing started

Oops! 3 Mistakes – The First Mistake I Always Make

What could it be? I’ve got an MBA. I’ve written computer programs to schedule, I’m a certified project manager. I have both training and experience in managing projects, like self-publishing.

Time estimation. Things always take longer than you think.

Oop! 3 Mistakes
I break time deadlines

For example, my latest book, Oops! Tales of the Zombie Turkey Apocalypse, should be in my hands today. I planned to sell it at the Chambanacon convention. It’s not.

Oops! 3 Mistakes
Andy Zach and Brenda Sutton at Chambanacon 2016

The book isn’t printed. The covers are done, but not the binding. And I just fixed a problem with the ISBN yesterday.

What went wrong?

First, writing the book took longer than I planned. I traveled to California and Israel, which impeded me. I also waited until the last minute/month to finish up.

Second, my editor took longer than I thought. She got a lot of work all of a sudden. No problem, if I had been done a month earlier.

Third, we found a mistake in my binding. Oops! 3 Mistakes I’ve made, number 1.

Oops! 3 Mistakes
Andy’s soon to be published book

Oops! 3 Mistakes – My Second Mistake in Self-Publishing

Where else did I go wrong?

I thought nothing would go wrong. Never before did I have a typo in my binding. I never made a mistake with my ISBN before. But I have the capacity to make new, never before seen mistakes.

Maybe you do too.

Plan for mistakes in your plan.

Unplanned fly under
Do you think this was planned?

Finally, Mistake Number Three

I know better about this one. I haven’t always failed here, but this time I did.

What else did I do?

Andy Zach at Archon, instead of writing in October 2019

I didn’t plan for slack time.

When I realized how little slack time I had to publish by November 29th, I should have blocked off all October as slack time to catch up with any problems. I should have targeted September 30th as my writing deadline.

Woulda, shoulda, coulda. Maybe you can learn from my mistakes.

The final back cover of Oops!

I’m Thankful for You This Thanksgiving

Zombie Turkey Thanksgiving
Zombie Turkey for Thanksgiving

I’m thankful for you, my blog readers and newsletter subscribers. I’m giving you 15 free middle-school books. Click below.

Oops! 3 Mistakes
Click to get 15 free middle-school books, including Secret Supers

That’s right. You’ll get my latest novel Secret Supers for free here. Enjoy the first promotion I’ve run for this book.

Secret Supers for free
Click to get your free copy

But that’s not all! Click here next to subscribe to my newsletter and get my free short stories in my upcoming Oops! anthology.

Finally, newsletter subscribers will be able to get my audiobooks for free! Find out how in my next newsletter this month.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Gobble! Gobble!