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Your Eighteenth Literary Gift of 25 Gifts

Villain's Vacation cover What is it like?

Your Eighteenth Literary Gift of 25 Gifts to Christmas. Come along as we ride at Coaster World, where the Secret Supers are enjoying their summer vacation from seventh grade. It’s a good thing the part can accommodate four disabled teens. This excerpt is from my Villain’s Vacation novel.

Let me know what you think by clicking here or emailing me at [email protected]. As always, everyone who responds with a comment or email will get a free book from me.

My past gifts to you are here:

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Your Eighteenth Literary Gift: From Villain’s Vacation

Your Eighteenth Literary Gift Villain's Vacation cover What is it like?
Villain’s Vacation cover

 “Mac’s coming here now.”

He came in the door, walked to our table, and sat. “Sorry, but we weren’t able to find the kidnapper. We found the radio transmitter on the roof of the hotel. It had been left on to lead us there. We went through the hotel registry, but no one was on our list of terrorists or criminals in the country or the world. We talked with all the hotel residents, but everyone had an alibi when the kidnapping occurred.”

“That cuts it,” said Dad. “The villain is loose. We’re going home.”

“You might be safer here,” Mac said.

“What? How could that be?” asked Mom.

“We’re getting more Special Forces and plainclothes operatives here. We’ve got to get this criminal. What’s to stop them from following you back to Maryville and kidnapping you there?”

We sat silent, digesting our meal and this news.

“Crap. We can’t be safe in Maryville?” Dad looked Mac in the eye.

“I don’t think so. The Secret Supers destroyed a criminal hideout there this spring, sponsored by an international gang of criminals. This may be the same gang.

“I feel sick.” Mom covered her face with her hands.

Dan joked, “Maybe because the hamburgers were greasy?”

An Interruption

Your Eighteenth Literary Gift

Just then Mrs. Robinson scooted up to our table in her walker. “There you are! I haven’t seen you since the boat ride. I’ve had so much fun with you, I wondered if you’d like to take the tour plane around the park and Lake Erie with me tomorrow. It’s about an hour tour.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Robinson, but we’re in the middle of a family planning meeting now. Could we get back with you?”

“Of course, Mr. Gentle. I’m sorry to interrupt. Do you have my cellphone?”

“I do,” I said

“Me too,” Dan added.

“I’m always misplacing my cellphone, so I don’t usually get people’s numbers,” said Aubrey.

“We’ll call you back when we’re free,” came Kayla’s response from her tablet.

“I’ll wait to hear from you.” She rolled away with one wheel on her walker squeaking.

The Security Plan

Your Eighteenth Literary 2021 Reviews
Villain’s Vacation Audio book

“I have a security plan for your family and the Secret Supers,” Mac told Dad.

“What?”

“We’ll provide an escort for each of you. That’ll leave me with other squad members to watch the area and the crowds around you. We should be able to catch the criminals if they try anything.”

“Will these guys go in the restrooms with us?” asked Aubrey.

“We have female operatives for you, Kayla, and Mrs. Gentle.”

“Let’s do it! I don’t want to go home,” Dan punched his fist into his palm.

“It doesn’t look like we have much choice,” said Dad.

“I would feel better having everyone escorted. I think we’ve given you children too much freedom,” said Mrs. Gentle.

“Nah, there we disagree, Denise. Some crazed criminal is not a usual danger. Our kids have been very responsible. So far.” Dad looked at all of us with narrowed eyes.

“Still, you should have told us after the first kidnapping,” said Mrs. Gentle.

“You’re right, Mom. No more Secret Supers to you and Dad,” I held my right hand up and the other over my heart.

Dad smiled. “We can be Alfred to your Batman, Jeremy. In on your secret, but discreet.”

“Let’s try this security arrangement out on the Galactic Black Hole. I want to ride that again,” Dan said.

“Okay,” said Mrs. Gentle, “but we’re going too. I want us all to stick together. I haven’t been on a coaster for ten years.”

The Galactic Black Hole

Your Eighteenth Literary Gift quasar tsunami
quasar tsunami

We got into the coaster line like the animals going onto Noah’s ark: two by two. I barely needed to use my cane. I could read the mind of my agent next to me. He was worried about attack vectors. I asked him, “What’s your name?”

“Ed.”

That was all I got out of him. He didn’t want to talk. I skimmed the minds of the others in our group: Ann was with Aubrey, Barb with Kayla, Chip with Jeremy, Don with Mr. Gentle, and Fran with Mrs. Gentle.

I whispered to Kayla as she stood in front of me in line. “Their names are alphabetical.”

I think those are just code names.

“Mac too?”

Probably.

There’s another limitation of mind reading. I couldn’t delve into memories. The person had to recall the memory. If they used a code name I couldn’t tell.

We jumped into the coaster. “I had the front car the first time. This time, I want to ride in the back. I want to get the full experience,” I said to Ed as he settled next to me.

“Uh-huh.”

Roller Coaster

Writer's Block: My Experience
Chapter icon from Villain’s Vacation

Great conversationalist. But the ride was even better than it had been the day before. A couple of times, even Ed was surprised by a dip or turn that hurled us against the lap restraint. Kayla screamed her head off, as usual. I used her eyes to get a view of the stars and galaxies displayed around us.

We went around a turn and everything went black. I knew a big dip was coming. I was wrong. A huge hand encircled my chest. I felt the restraint fly off my lap as I was jerked into the air.

I took a big breath to yell, but the hiss of gas was the last thing I remembered.

Your Eighteenth Literary Gift Concludes

What do you think of your latest gift? Let me know right here. Don’t forget I’ll give you a free book after I get your email.

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Your Seventeenth Literary Gift of 25 Gifts

Your Sixth Literary Gift Love These Superheroes

Your Seventeenth Literary Gift of 25 Gifts to Christmas. Today we’ll look at my second series, Secret Supers. My campaign to give you 25 literary gifts by Christmas continues. This blog will give you a short excerpt from my Secret Supers novel.

Let me know what you think by clicking here or emailing me at [email protected]. As always, everyone who responds with a comment or email will get a free book from me.

My past gifts to you are here:

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Your Seventeenth Gift: From Secret Supers

Your Seventeenth Literary Gift Interesting Links
Secret Supers – click for free audiobook.

When the Secret Supers met at Jeremy’s home after school the next Monday, Jeremy said, “I’ve found four or five card tricks that’ll be great for Dan to do.”

“I thought of something too,” said Aubrey.

What’s that? Kayla thoughtcast.

“Dan can do the floating woman trick with Kayla. Jeremy can make her float, and Dan can use my old hula hoop to prove she’s not held up by wires.”

Why don’t you do the trick?

“You’re a lot better looking than I am. Whoever heard of a big burly girl working with a magician?”

“You’re not bad looking, Aubrey,” Jeremy said.

“Thanks, Jeremy, but I prefer weight lifting to being on stage.”

“How about weight lifting on stage?” asked Dan.

“Sounds weird. How would we work that into a magic act?”

“After we do the levitation trick, we go outside and you can pick up a car, with Jeremy’s help.”

That would be pretty spectacular. People would think the levitation trick was the grand finale and then you’d top it with the car. Kayla thoughtcast.

“It’d have to be a pretty small car. I can only lift about a thousand pounds. I tried again today, and that seems to be my limit.”

“Yeah, but my telekinesis seems to be getting more powerful as I use it. I picked up one end of our family’s car the other day.”

“Wow, Jeremy! Let’s try to lift it together, right now.” Aubrey got up and marched up the stairs, followed by her friends. Jeremy floated behind them, excited to try it.

Planning the Magic Show

Your Seventeenth Literary Gift

Jeremy sat in his wheelchair in front of the elevator. He’d left it there when he floated downstairs.

“Mom’s making dinner, but I don’t want her suddenly seeing me floating around.”

“I’ll let you know if she comes looking for you,” Dan assured him.

“Thanks, Dan. Well, here goes.” The back end of the car came up about six inches.

“That’s great, Jeremy! Let’s see if I can hold up my end of the bargain.” Aubrey squatted by the front bumper, grabbed it firmly in her hands, and slowly straightened her legs.

“You did it,” shouted Jeremy.

“Yeah.” She gasped. “But only for a short time.” She put it back down. “Whew! That was my limit.”

“That’s good,” said Jeremy. “You want to give the impression of it being very difficult.”

Now, what we need is a script.

“What do you mean, Kayla?”

These magic shows are carefully planned for drama and anticipation. We’ve got to plan and practice every word.

“Who can write a script like that?” wondered Dan.

I can. It’s just like an English assignment: ‘Write your own magic show, like Penn and Teller.’ I’ve watched them on YouTube.

“Suppertime!” Jeremy’s Mom called from the door to the garage.

“Great! I’ve worked up an appetite,” said Aubrey.

“It’s chili and cornbread today,” said Dan. “My mouth is already watering.”

Show Time

Your Seventeenth Litrary Gift Aubrey Wilcosky
Aubrey, super powered heroine.

The four friends worked on their script and show until Saturday came. Kayla’s mom made a black magician’s robe for Dan and sparkling tights for Kayla. Aubrey wore black tights trimmed with glitter. Jeremy would be the emcee and had a top hat and coat like a circus ringmaster.

People packed the City Hall meeting room. Right in front was Rich Vandemere with his dad and Betty Jones.

“Hi, Mrs. Jones, Rich. You must be Mr. Vandemere?” Jeremy greeted them from his wheelchair.

“Yeah, that’s me,” said the big man gruffly. “Call me Bob.”

“Thanks for coming out and supporting our fund-raiser.”

“It’s the least we could do,” said Mrs. Jones. “We don’t want to see you out of school any more than you do.”

“Uh, Mrs. Jones, are you friends with Rich and Mr.Vandemere?” asked Aubrey, who walked up next to Jeremy

She laughed. “We’re married. Rich is our son. I just kept my name from my first marriage. I was grief-stricken when my husband George died. Then I met Bob. I kept my first husband’s name in memorium.”

“O-o-o-h. I didn’t know,” said Aubrey, turning red.

“Have a good show!” she wished them.

The Show Begins

Your Seventeenth Literary Gift Your Sixth Literary Gift Love These Superheroes
Dan Elanga – He can read minds and sensory impressions.

Seven o’clock came. Jeremy went behind the curtains they’d fixed at the back of the room. Dan, Kayla, and Aubrey were there.

“Ready?” he asked.

We’re all ready and excited!

“Break a leg!” said Aubrey. “That’s the traditional show business wish.”

“I can’t say that to you, Aubrey.” Jeremy looked at her artificial legs, covered by the black tights.

“I’m sure I could break them if I put my mind to it!”

“Get going already, Jeremy. I’m all antsy,” Dan said.

Jeremy cut the lights to the room. He’d rigged a remote lighting control next to his wheelchair joystick. He touched a button and one spotlight lit the stage and then turned on his lapel mike.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Maryville Middle School charity magic show!” he announced, bowing from his wheelchair and doffing his top hat. “Prepare to be dazzled by displays of legerdemain never before seen or performed!

Behind the curtain, Aubrey whispered to Kayla, “What’s legerdemain?”

It’s just a fancy term for magic. Jeremy’s showing off.

Card Tricks

Your Seventeenth Literary Gift

“From the depths of deepest, darkest Africa, I present to you, the soon-to-be world-famous magician, Daniel Elanga!”

With calm aplomb, Dan strode to the middle of the stage. “Greetings, friends! It’s traditional to begin a magic show with card tricks.” He produced a deck from his pocket, started to shuffle it, and fumbled it all over the floor. The audience broke into laughter.

“However, I am terrible with cards.” More laughter ensued. Dan tapped his dark glasses with his white cane. “Blind, you know. But I’m great at reading minds. Now, everyone knows how magicians do these mentalist tricks. They have plants in the audience and marked cards and substitute decks. So I’ll break all the rules. First, I’ll have my assistant, Kayla Verdera, present an unopened deck of cards.” Kayla walked out with her walker, flourishing a plastic sealed deck.

“Kayla, please give that deck to one of the audience members. I promise not to look.” The audience twittered with nervous laughter.

Jeremy assumed they weren’t used to blind people joking about their blindness.

The Cards Revealed

Your Seventeenth Literary Gift

Kayla gave the deck to a startled Mrs. Jones. Jeremy wheeled up to her. “Thank you, ma’am. Would you give us your name?”

“Betty Jones.”

“Have you ever seen this deck before?”

“No, I haven’t”

“Please open the deck and fan out the cards.”

Betty did so and showed them to the audience.

“Do they look perfectly normal to you?”

“Sure.”

“Let me look. I’m more familiar with cards,” said Mr. Vandemere. He peered at them and felt them carefully. “They don’t seem to be marked. They’re just a new deck.”

“Now, Mrs. Jones, please pick a card and don’t show anyone.”

“I’ll pick one too,” said Mr.Vandemere. “You pick one too, Rich.”

That’s not how the script is supposed to go!

“Great idea,” said Dan. “I’ll tell you what each of you has.”

“This I gotta see,” said Mr.Vandemere. He switched cards with Rich, and then again with his wife.

Dan, they all switched cards!

“Now, I must open my inner eye to see.” Dan paused dramatically, his hands on his temples.

”I see the three cards. But they’ve been switched.” The audience gasped. “Very clever of you.”

“Rich Vandemere, please stand.”

He’s improvising!

“You have your Dad’s original card, right?”

“Right.”

“It’s the seven of spades, isn’t it?”

“I’ll be—”

“Please show the audience.”

Rich held up the card, the seven of spades. The audience applauded.

Your Seventeenth Literary Gift Concludes

Applause!

“Bob Vandemere, please stand.”

He stood, looming taller than them all.

“You have your wife’s original card?”

“Yeah.”

“Isn’t it the jack of hearts?”

“I don’t believe it.” Mr.Vandemere held up the jack of hearts for the audience to see.

Louder applause filled the room.

“Finally, Mrs. Betty Jones, please stand up. You have your son’s card, I believe?”

“Yes.”

“Please confirm it’s the ten of clubs.” Betty gasped and held the ten of clubs aloft. The crowd cheered, giving Dan a standing ovation.

Your Sixteenth Literary Gift – What do you think?

Andy Zach Your Seventeenth Literary Gift
Andy Zach in repose

What do you think of your gift? Let me know right here. Don’t forget I’ll give you a free book after I get your email.

If you like Secret Supers you can subscribe to my newsletter here to see all my blog posts and get free books every month. Or you can just stay at my blog, checking back every day until Christmas.

Psst! Audible lets you listen free to my books. Click here to find out how.

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Your Sixteenth Literary Gift of 25 Gifts

Your Sixteenth Literary Gift of 25 Gifts to Christmas. My campaign to give you 25 literary gifts by Christmas continues. I’m Andy Zach, author of two scifi series. This blog will give you a short story from my collection, Oops! Stories from the Zombie Turkey Apocalypse.

Let me know what you think by clicking here or emailing me at [email protected]. As always, everyone who responds with a comment or email will get a free book from me.

My past gifts to you are here:

If you want to keep track of all my blog posts and get free books you can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

Your Sixteenth Gift: From Oops!

A Dying Business

Your Sixteenth Literary Gift

He was dead. At least, his business was. And without his business, his wife would leave him and take their new baby. Then he might as well be dead.

His dad had run the Elysium Fields Mortuary for thirty years and had made a killing at it. The first and only mortuary in their small town of Hillvale, everyone got buried there. He charged normal prices, he was friendly, and he helped their community. His dad said to him when he was a teen, “Irving, after you get your college degree, go to mortuary school, and when you come out, I’ll hire you and then turn the business over to you. You’ll be set for life.”

Irv had no other plans. He liked this cute blonde Shelley in high school, and she liked him. So he learned the business, got his degree in psychological counseling, and came back and married her. Just as he promised, his dad turned Elysium Fields over to him after a few years and retired to Florida with his mom.

Irv Runs His Mortuary – Your Sixteenth Literary Gift

Your Sixteenth Literary Gift latest science news What's New Science
Oops cover

The first years had been great. People were dying to be his customers. He and Shelley remodeled his parents’ old house, went on vacations around the world, had his and her luxury cars. Shelley had their son, Nathan. Then the bottom dropped out of his business.

Rather than dying normally, people were taking zombie blood. Lung cancer? Gone. Heart disease? Cleared up. Severe accidents? Limbs grew back. Most people then took the vaccine to remove the zombie disease, because who wants to be a zombie with glowing red eyes? But they were still alive and healthy.

Irv researched the zombie disease during his many idle moments waiting for customers. No one knew how long people with zombiism lived. Zombie turkeys, squirrels, and corgis lived past their normal life span. Humans near death came back as zombies and started living like twenty-year-olds.

All that Irv had left was a trickle of people who died suddenly or who refused the zombie treatment. Irv rejoiced that the prejudice against zombies was so strong, or he’d be bankrupt.

To make matters worse, the zombies had organized themselves. Their leader, Diane Newby, also known as “the undead mother-in-law” started the Society Promoting Equality with Zombies, or SPEwZ. They fought for zombie rights and to make zombies normal and accepted. SPEwZ also collected zombie blood donations and repackaged it in one-dose injectors, Zom-B Pens. These they sold worldwide, making tons of money.

Irv seethed. He called the SPEwZ helpline to give them a piece of his mind, 1-800-ZOMBIES.

Diane Talks to Irv

Your Sixteenth Literary Gift

“Hello, SPEwZ Inc. How can I help you?” said a pleasant-voiced woman.

“Let me talk to your boss,” Irv growled.

“One moment. I’ll transfer you to Diane Newby.”

Good. He would get right to the top.

“How may I help you, Mr.…” came a strong alto voice.

“Isling. Irving Isling. Mrs. Newby, let me give you—”

“Interesting initials,” Mrs. Newby interrupted. “Sorry. You were saying?”

“Mrs. Newby—”

“Call me Diane. There’s no need to be formal with me.”

“I’m the owner of Elysium Fields Mortuary, and your organization is killing me!”

“I’m sorry, but isn’t it better to have people alive than dead?”

“Not for me! My father built this business over thirty years ago, and it’s about ready to go under—all because of you zombies.”

“Hey, we didn’t ask to become zombies. We just want to be treated like any other American.”

“That’s fine, but don’t go around selling your zombie blood and keeping people alive unnaturally.”

“How bloodthirsty! If you were near death, wouldn’t you want a new lease on life?”

“Well, yeah. But still, you’re driving me out of business.”

“That’s the great American way. One business dies, and another rises to take its place. Adapt. Don’t be an old fuddy-duddy.”

Irv Gets With the Times – Your Sixteenth Literary Gift

Your Fifth Literary Gift In A Pickle Best Content Free Short Stories
In A Pickle short story. Click to read.

“Fuddy-duddy? I don’t even know what that means. I’m only twenty-six.”

“It means you’re a stick-in-the-mud. Inflexible. Stubborn. Now I’m forty-nine and leading the zombie “craze”…”

“I have been called stubborn. Mostly by my wife.”

“Hop on board the zombie train. We’re leaving the station. We can barely meet the demand for zombie blood. There are new zombie businesses popping up daily.”

“Like what?”

“Just today, here in SPEwZ headquarters in Gary, Indiana, we put out a job offer for a zombie counselor. People need time to adjust to the new zombie lifestyle and reassurance they’re as normal as anyone else.”

“Hmmph. How is anyone with glowing red eyes normal?”

“Eyes can always be covered with contact lenses.”

“I do have a degree in consoling. Do I just replace my mortuary with a consoling  business?”

Business Opportunity – Your Sixteenth Literary Gift

Authors Business Owners
Zombie Lady Maximizing Tax Returns

“Why not both? People will always need to be buried and deal with grief. Even zombies can die.”

“So I do have hope. Do I just add a zombie-consoling shingle to my mortuary?”

“Of course. I’ll even route zombies we know to you.”

“We’re pretty sparsely populated here in Hillvale. The town population is just five hundred.”

“Let me do a query on our zombie database. Okay, there are one hundred and seventy-five within a radius of twenty miles.”

“That’s way more than I thought!”

“I can’t send you their contact information without violating their privacy, but I can tell them about your consoling business. What will you call it?”

“Um, Elysium Fields Consoling?”

“Got it. I’ll send out the email today to everyone within a hundred miles. That’s over a thousand zombies.”

“Thanks, Diane. I called to read you the riot act, and you helped me.”

“That’s what we do here at SPEwZ: help zombies and help people who help zombies.”

Irv asked the town printer to make some Elysium Fields Consoling signs. He set up a small conference room in their mortuary as an office and mounted a sign on the door, under the foyer sign, and on the outside sign.

Irv’s Business Comes to Life

Your Sixteen Literary Gift Funny Novel
Andy Zach’s Tombstone

The next day he had five emails asking for help adjusting to zombie life. He called each person and scheduled them to come in. One could come that afternoon, a Mrs. Persimmon.

A large luxury car pulled up into his otherwise empty parking lot. A wizened little old lady came out of the huge car, barely able to see over the open door. Then she flipped the door closed with a solid THUNK Irv could hear through the window of his air-conditioned office.

Holding her large black handbag in one hand, her eyes hidden behind huge dark glasses, she skipped—skipped—from her car to the front door of Elysium Fields.

Irv closed his mouth and hurried to greet her. The door flew open before he reached it.

“Mrs. Persimmon?”

“Right as rain, sonny.” She cackled, looking up at him with a wide grin.

“Pleased to meet you. I’m Irv Isling, director and counselor.”

“So you’re not a zombie? How will you be able to help me?” She took off her dark glasses and put them in her purse. Her red eyes glowed at Irv with skepticism.

Helping Mrs. Persimmon

We've Got It icon
We’ve Got It

“Um, no, but I do have training in helping people adjust to trauma in their lives.”

“Well, being a zombie’s a picnic. It’s other people that give me grief.”

“Come into my office and we can talk about it.”

“I don’t know about that. Why should I pay you if you don’t know what I’m going through?”

“If I can’t help you, I’ll say so and there’ll be no charge.”

“Okay then. I can’t beat that.”

When they were seated, Irv said, “Tell me your story from the beginning. Take as long as you’d like.” This was an approach Irv took with grief counseling, getting people to talk about their loved ones.

“When I got my stroke, I couldn’t walk or take care of myself anymore. My kids wanted to put me in a nursing home. I thought I’d try this zombie blood thing instead. When my shot came in the mail, I got my home nursing assistant to give it to me. That was the start.”

“What happened after that?”

“I popped right out of bed and straightened up the house. With plenty of energy left, I mowed the lawn and finished up by playing hopscotch on my driveway. I haven’t done that for seventy-eight years. I felt like a young girl again. But that was the start of my problems.

“My neighbors called my kids, and they came over and fussed over me. I was glad they were concerned, and I thanked them. Then we had a fight. They still wanted me to go into a nursing home, and I refused. In fact, I revoked their power of attorney. That really ticked them off. My son tried to drag me off.” Mrs. Persimmon chuckled. “That didn’t turn out well for him.”

Mrs. Persimmon’s Problem

Your Sixteenth Literary Gift

“What do you mean?”

“I turned him over my knee and spanked him. I hadn’t done that for over sixty years. But now my kids aren’t talking to me, and they’re threatening legal action. Dumb kids. I’ve got way better lawyers than they do and more money.”

“What can I do for you?”

“I’d like to be reconciled to my kids, but they’re in a huff and not listening. I don’t think they like zombies either. They want me to take the vaccine. There’s no way that’ll happen. I like roller-skating around my neighborhood like I did as a girl. Did you know these new-fangled inline skates are lots better than the clip-ons I had as a kid?”

“No, I didn’t. Let me think a minute. You need to meet at a neutral place. Is there a nice restaurant where you can meet as a family and have a meal and discussion?”

“Yes. We can go to Pierre’s. We were just there celebrating their thirty-fifth wedding anniversary and my ninetieth birthday, before my stroke. Everyone loves it. I can get a private room again.”

Irv’s Plan

Free Short Stories Your Sixteenth Literary Gift
The Butterfly Effect icon

“Good. See if you can just tell them what you’ve told me. Tell them how much you love feeling like a young girl again. Tell them how much you love them and want to spend time with them, not in a nursing home. Don’t argue or yell or fight.”

“Sonny, you talk sense. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that. Probably because they stirred up my dander and I wasn’t thinking straight. I’ll do that. But I want you to come, in case a fight breaks out. Then you can mediate.”

“Uh, okay, if it fits my schedule.”

“Let’s see what we can work out,” Mrs. Persimmon reached into her purse and pulled out a golden tablet. She rapidly punched buttons, and then a face appeared.

“Hi Amanda, it’s your granny.”

“Hi, Grandma. You’re looking great!”

“Thanks, honey. Can you and Trevor make it to Pierre’s for supper this Friday? It’s my treat.”

“We’d love to!”

“Great. Now see if you can get your mom and dad to come too. I’d invite them, but they’re not talking to me. Tell them it’s my treat and there’ll be no fighting. I’ve even hired a counselor to reconcile us.”

“I’ll try, Grandma, but they’re pretty sore at you.”

“Tell them I’m dropping my legal action if they stop theirs.”

“I’ll do the best I can.”

“Don’t worry, honey. You’re the apple of your dad’s eye, and he’ll do whatever you want.”

“Don’t I wish!”

“Trust me on this. That’s why I called you.”

“I will, Grandma.”

“Thanks, honey. I’ve gotta go. Toodles!”

“Bye.”

Irv’s Date

Your Sixteenth Literary Gift

Turning to Irv, Mrs. Persimmon said, “Now I made it for Friday evening. Can you come?”

“Usually I spend Fridays with my wife and son eating out.”

“Great! Bring them along.”

“My son’s only a year and a half. He might be disruptive.”

“That’s a good disruption. My son William and his wife, Wendy, love kids. We’re all very experienced.”

“What about Pierre’s? I don’t know if a luxury restaurant is the right place for an eighteen-month-old baby.”

“No problem. We have a private room, and they’ll do whatever I say.”

“If you’re game, then I’m game.”

“Good. Now, how much do I owe you?”

“This first session was free, like I told you.”

“You’ve been a big help, and I want to pay you.”

“My normal rate is thirty-five dollars an hour, but you don’t have to pay, Mrs. Persimmon.”

“Nonsense. A man is worth his hire.” She told out a thick wallet from her purse and riffled through the bills. “Hmmm. Nothing smaller than a hundred.”

“I’ve got change.”

“Don’t bother. Keep the change.” She handed him a Franklin.

“I feel I ought to pay for my meal now at Pierre’s.”

“Nah. I eat there every week and get way better discounts than anyone else. It’s been nice talking with you, Irv.” She bounced up and vigorously shook his hand.

“See you Friday!” she called as she skipped out the door.

(Too long for this blog. The story continues here.)

Your Sixteenth Literary Gift – What do you think?

Andy Zach Newsletter
Oops! audiobook cover

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