Oops! My SciFi Short Story Book Is On Sale! But just for two more days, so quickly click here to get Oops! Tales of the Zombie Turkey Apocalypse!By ‘two more days’ I mean today, Friday March 24th and Saturday March 25th. The sale ends at 2 am Sunday March 26th.
I’m author Andy Zach and I’ve got a free short story for you from the book.
But first, let me tell you about my short stories before you try one.
Accidents happen. Especially around zombie turkeys. Then you add zombie humans, and problems proliferate. Mix in some ill-planned genetic engineering, and things get crazy.The insanity continues, from the story where zombies are merged with cucumbers to the one where two basement-dwelling nerds gain access to all video content from the past two hundred years—from aliens.Andy Zach pulls out all the stops on his imagination as he serves up this smorgasbord of silliness. Try it. Laughter is good for your soul
I haven’t done this before, but here’s the Table of Contents from the book. I’ve added the chapter icons too. They’re created by my illustrator Sean “Fuzzy” Flanagan.
Now you’re ready for your free short story that follows below.
What’s it about? What if you’re a genetic engineer and you decide to use zombie turkey DNA to make pickles grow? That’s the set up. Enjoy! Click here to read it.
Now, what was he going to do? Brice Butterworth’s boss just told him to double the productivity of Vegan Inc.’s pickle strain they used for their Kilwowski Pickle brand. That was completely impossible.
But keeping his job required it. He was the low man on the genetic engineering totem pole at Vegan Inc., the last one hired and the first one to be fired if another recession hit.
He couldn’t think. And he couldn’t face this. So he cruised the internet. “The origin of zombie turkeys? I didn’t know they’d found that. Hmm, a Midley Beacon exclusive, the foremost zombie news source,” he read out loud.
Let me know what you think by clicking here or emailing me at [email protected]. As always, everyone who responds with a comment or email will get a free book from me.
Once again, Terry Pratchett dazzles with a brilliant combination of humor, fantasy, and amazing description. I very literally laughed out loud four or five times while reading this book for the second time.
The inept wizard Rincewind is the primary star in the book, but there are many colorful characters, such as Conina, the daughter of Cohen the Barbarian, with heroism in her blood. Death makes an appearance, along with the other Horsemen of the Apocalypse, who are occupied in surprising activities.
Finally, there is the antagonist/protagonist Coin who is the eighth son of an eighth son of an eighth son and that makes him a sourcerer–a source of magic and the source of the name of the book. He’s young, inexperienced, and more powerful than all the wizards combined.
No more description is needed. You will enjoy this book if you have a sense of humor
Harmon Cooper does not disappoint! The Cowboy Necromancer Sterling Montero and his daughter The Sunflower Kid head west to see the ocean. The fact 90% of humanity has died due to an alien invasion and subsequent apocalypse doesn’t deter them. But they quickly meet challenges they never expected.
The novella ended with me wanting more. Some problems were resolved, but more remained.
I’ve never laughed so much listening to a zombie story before…but then again I’ve never listened to a book about zombie turkeys before either. Hilariously written and actually has some great characters too. Many cameos as well. Definitely an awesome time listening to this one. Hoping for a sequel!
Author Harmon Cooper continues his action-packed series featuring Danzen a half-demon, half-human assassin. He got tired of the assassin business and retired and was immediately attacked by assassins. He dropped out of sight and was found by his fully demon brother, who was out to kill him as a potential rival to rule hell. His father, the ruler of hell, wants him to be his successor. His mother wants him to rebuild heaven, which fell to earth hundreds of years before.
That covers the first six books, aside from brutal battles with demons and monsters in every chapter. Danzen continues to gather the powerful remnants of heaven methodically. He has loyal friends and one who is more than a friend.
He has a choice–should he join up with hell-spawn to rebuild heaven? If not, his whole mission will fail and he will die.
Do you have suggestions of books for me to read and review? Tell me all about them! If I read and review one you suggested, I’ll mention your name and give you a free book of your choice!
This series is the first I have read of Andy Zach’s and I am not disappointed! This story has tons of action, well written characters, and the zombies are not mindless slow shells. A refreshing take on zombies as a whole. The plot moves at a good pace and the story arc continues to work well over the series. I look forward to book 3! Audio Version: Phil Blechman and Raven Perez do a great job with their respective characters and the overall narration.
The situation: The aliens have just landed in a flying saucer on the White House lawn.
Now you’re ready for your free excerpt that follows below.
Let me know what you think by clicking here or emailing me at [email protected]. As always, everyone who responds with a comment or email will get a free book from me.
Flying saucer over Washington DC
Chapter 9 icon from Paranormal Privateers
Sam and Lisa craned their necks with thousands of others as the saucer descended to the cleared area on the lawn. A hundred feet across, of smooth, unbroken silvery metal, it looked more like a lens than a saucer, with a smooth convex curved top and bottom. It floated silently as a balloon and landed like a snowflake.
“Look! It’s opening!” Sam said.
The edge of the saucer split, revealing a ramp to the interior. The alien ambassador Micah Rigby came out, holding both hands up in a gesture of peace. Tied to each of his wrists were silver strings, which pulled along two large red balloons. Hanging from the balloons were gaily wrapped packages.
“Greetings, Earthlings and my fellow Americans!” Micah Rigby spoke from the bottom of the ramp. Although he didn’t have a microphone, Sam and Lisa clearly heard him from a hundred feet away.
“The Old Ones send along two gifts for the President. We learned from Klaatu, who got shot for bearing a gift. I suggested the balloons and wrapping to show the gifts are not dangerous.”
“May I approach the president?”
“C’mon up, Ambassador Rigby!” boomed the President through the speakers.
Ambassador Rigby walked across the lawn and up the steps to the platform, balloons and presents bobbing merrily behind him.
“Here’s the Old Ones’ first gift for you.” He unwrapped the pink-and-yellow-striped package. It looked like a small silver phone. Micah handed it to the president and gave the balloon to the Secret Service agent next to the president. “You can give the balloon to your daughter, Agent Smith.”
Startled, the agent took the balloon.
Meet My Aliens from Paranormal Privateers
“Mr. President, this is a voice-activated cell phone. Simply speak the person’s name and you can see them and talk with them.”
“That’s like our cell phones.”
“The Old Ones copied the normal cell phone voice interface. However, the person you call does not have to have a phone at all! If you wish, your image can be projected to them.”
“Amazing!”
“Also, this phone is not limited by distance, nor can the signals be blocked. Finally, if you say ‘Old Ones,’ you can talk directly to them.”
“OK. Old Ones.”
Five translucent figures appeared near the president, all white-haired and bearded. One white, one black, one Asian, one Native American, and one brown race that might have been Middle Eastern.
“Greetings, Mr. President! How can we help you?”
“I wanted to see if you’d answer and what you looked like.”
“To be honest,” said the black one, “this is not how we look. These are merely our projected images. We use your races to show we are different to some extent like your races are different. White hair and beards symbolize our age.”
“What do you actually look like?” the President asked.
“We thought you might be curious,” said the Asian figure.
“That’s why we gave you the second gift,” said the Middle Eastern one.
“Here it is, Mr. President,” Micah said, handing him the larger orange-and-purple package.
The president unwrapped it and opened a sealed box. A cute furry caterpillar, with a head and face like a fox and long, furry pointed ears, quickly crawled out and up the president’s arm to his shoulder. It moved with a rippling motion. Squirrel-sized, it sat on his shoulder, licked his face, and purred contentedly.
Your Excerpt Concludes
“That tickles! You’re a cute little fellow, aren’t you? What are they called?”
“There are no equivalent species on earth, but we thought you might like them. They’re part of our ship’s ecology,” said the bearded white Old One. “You may call them anything you’d like, but we think they’re most like the Tribbles from Star Trek.”
“I can see that,” the president said.
“Minus the uncontrolled reproduction in the Star Trek episode!” The black Old One laughed. “These Tribble-like creatures must go back to the saucer each day for food. There are certain proteins they need they cannot get from your biosphere. We withhold the amino acids they need for reproduction.”
“They can eat harmful insects, flies, and mosquitoes, bed bugs, and cockroaches, but they cannot thrive or reproduce here,” added the brown Old One.
“So do you look like caterpillars, foxes, or Tribbles?” President Trump asked.
“It’s more of a metaphor than a literal appearance,” said the Caucasian.
“We want you to think of us as cute, warm, and fuzzy,” said the Asian.
“Will we ever get to see what you really look like?”
“It’s not necessary,” the five images answered in unison. “It has been pleasant talking with you, Mr. President. Our ambassador will discuss the trade arrangement we desire.”
The images disappeared.
My Aliens – What do you think?
What do you think of my aliens? Let me know right here. Don’t forget I’ll give you a free book after I get your email.
