But that’s not all! Once you join the newsletter, your email is placed in a monthly drawing for your pick of any of my products: Zombie Turkeys, My Undead Mother-in-law, Zombie Turkeys audio book, and Zombie Turkeys Graphic Novel.
The mother-in-law has landed! That is, her book, My Undead Mother-in-law (M.U.M.) has arrived at Jule Inc. Those who’ve won free books (four) and who’ve picked M.U.M. will get one. Those who haven’t picked a prize yet, contact me, Andy Zach.
Indeedy do! The third book in the Life After Life Chronicles, my humorous zombie books set in our modern society has the working title Paranormal Privateers.
Research topics I covered for the next book were Somali piracy and letters of marque. Did you know the last letter of marque was issued in 1815 for the ship the Grand Turk, to be used against the Barbary pirates? It was never used since the second Barbary pirate war ended.
Color picture of US 16th President Lincoln. He almost issued a letter of marque.
Then later on President Lincoln thought of using them against the Confederacy but didn’t. The Confederacy, however, issued letters of marque against the Union.
Finally, Ron Paul introduced bills for letters of marque against Al-Qaida in 2001 and 2007. In 2010, a Navy lawyer researched the plausibility of letters of marque against modern pirates and concluded it was a good idea.
Andy’s autographed picture
What do you think? Respond in the comments or by email to [email protected].
Origin Story of Zombie Turkeys–where did they come from? How can they be stopped? I tell you all!
But let’s begin with your gift: you can get your free copy of Zombie Turkeys–and some giggles. Click here for yours!
Zombie Turkeys was the first book I wrote and published. I wanted to write something light and funny. I fried a turkey, brought it into the house, and said, “What if this turkey came back to life?” Someone said, “It’d be a zombie turkey.”
“That’s my book title!” So I wrote the book around the title.
When you subscribe to my newsletter, in EVERY newsletter I offer to give away a free ebook copy of Zombie Turkeys. So subscribe, get a newsletter, and grab your book
But that’s not all you’ll get in this blog post.
Origin Story – Zombie Turkeys – Review
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Firstly, where’s this review coming from? Goodreads! S. Policar
If you’ve seen Poultrtgeist: Night of the Chicken Dead or Thankskilling and liked them, you’ll LOVE this. The sarcasm is there, the humor is dark and twisted, and our killer Tom turkey wakes up every day feeling great and ready to see who he can kill in the state of Illinois with his massive flock of wild and domesticated zombie turkeys. I loved this book. The end is a bit predictable given the fact that it’s a series, but its definitely the predictable you’d expect from something like this. I think this book would make a great low budget movie like the two I mentioned earlier; and let’s be realistic, thanksgiving is a pretty much open holiday in the book and movie business.
I give this book 4 of 5 Paws and I look forward to reading the rest of this series.
I loved every gobbling, clucking page of this book. It’s this hilarious and insane story that wonderfully hits all the right zombie outbreak tropes I love, but done with turkeys and thanksgiving themes. SO FUNNY! I could read about heroic turkey farmers making chipper-shredder last stands for just about forever.
The main dude, Mr. Unknown Blogger, was also a very likable and fun main character to ride around with. I loved reading about this bottom-of-the-pile reporter turning his life around even while the hordes of zombie turkeys get worse and worse.
Just writing this review makes me want to read the book again. So much fun.
What a deliciously silly book! If you love zombies and comedy, this zombiedy story is for you. The whole premise of zombie turkeys is just so ludicrous it makes the whole tale funny, no matter how seriously the characters take their roles. Story is suitable for the whole family. Very little blood & guts, no swearing, sweet, innocent romance.
I really enjoyed the main characters, Sam and Lisa, who work for a small newspaper in Illinois. Sam is out for the real story, thoroughly enjoying his investigative reporting. Lisa runs the little newspaper with efficiency and soon she has the entire nation demanding their news reports. Zombie turkeys are a bad problem, for sure, but they have launched this small newspaper right into the big leagues.
I loved all the straight line jokes, like how the turkeys couldn’t possibly outsmart law enforcement or the military. Yet people aren’t thinking like turkeys, let alone zombie turkeys. In order to predict their behavior, one must mindmeld with the zombie turkey!
Then there’s the weapons deployed to eradicate the turkeys – flechettes, flame throwers, big knives, grenades, etc. The story takes every opportunity to poke fun at being over-prepared… for the wrong things. Yet, no one could possibly see zombie turkeys coming, right? The story ends with one final piece of investigative journalism which just might explain where these deadly birds came from. So looking forward to book 2! 5/5 stars.
Let me know what you think by clicking here or emailing me at [email protected]. As always, everyone who responds with a comment or email will get a free book from me.
Here is my actual first line hook and the rest of the first paragraph:
Dirac sighed with relief when the US flag came down and the surrender flag went up on the mast of the titanic luxury yacht. He didn’t mind firing rounds from his AK-47 over their heads, but he hated killing people. He knew they were only infidels, but they were still people.
The reader learns: 1) a US yacht is surrendering; 2) the pirate’s name is Dirac; 3) He’s ready to use his AK-47 on them; 4) The pirate considers the US citizens infidels.
So I wrote the whole chapter pretty quickly. It’s a lot like performing magic: you lead the reader to expect one thing and then you make the opposite happen. I begin with the readers learning about zombie invincibility–and then put them in a seemingly impossible situation to escape.
Sometimes I lead you to expect a big fight and then all the villains escape. Sometimes I lead the reader to expect another adventure just like the last one–and have the heroes rescued by someone else.
Then just as you think you have the pattern of the chapter adventures established, I change all the rules of the game and add completely new and different villains.
