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What Did You Miss in August? Find Out Below

What Did You Miss in August? Lots! Like this next meme. Who knew the Greeks were family with meme from 2,500 years later?

Of course, this meme is funnier if you’re familiar with both Greek mythology and current internet memes.

And the following photo:

Who doesn’t like a nice neck rub?

Then we have this video from Disneyland:

There’s still more to come! How about a pun?

How do I have all this time to find this stuff on the internet? I’m an author! I spend half my time writing and half my time cruising the internet. Like this next item.

Here’s your chance to get a free book. Comment below or reply to me by clicking here about which of these was your favorite. Then I’ll send you a copy of Zombie Turkeys.

What Did You Miss 2021 Reviews
Audiobook cover – click to listen.

What Did You Miss In Reviews? Scroll Down, Then You’ll See

Let’s start with this one I wrote a few days ago.

The Big Show

The Big Show & Other Tales (Bolo)
by Keith Laumer
Andy Zach‘s review

Aug 30, 2021  
really liked it


This book has more military scifi short stories. Even though it’s about fifty years old, I didn’t give it five stars because it isn’t one of Keith Laumer’s more famous works.

Nonetheless, it’s a crackling good collection of military stories. I noticed some of Laumer’s characteristic impossible odds facing his antagonist, which are eventually overcome.

Recommended for any fan of military scifi, short stories, or Keith Laumer.

Andy’s review on Goodreads

I’ve got more reviews for you! Try this one on for size.

Now For a New Zombie Turkeys Review

Nikki

4.0 out of 5 stars 

An unusually unique zombie tale perfect for YAs.

Reviewed in the United States on August 25, 2021

I read this book to preview it for teen readers. I found it light and humorous considering it being a zombie tale. It’s perfect for young adults! But I wouldn’t recommend it for the hard-core adult zombie, post-apocalyptic fans.

Andy’s take is unique, fun, and refreshing. The story wraps up cleanly with minimal gore and lots of tongue-in-cheek remarks. How fun to learn you can order a flamethrower on Amazon!

By Nikki on Amazon

Have I got a deal for you! I’ll give you a free copy of Zombie Turkeys when you click here.

Your Closing Photo. Don’t Miss This Opportunity!

For a limited time, I’m offering my next book, Zombie Detective, autographed and at a discount. Oh, and you get free shipping as well. I lovingly pack each book with the same hands that typed it. Click the partial cover to get yours.

Ace zombie reporter Sam Melvin has been fired—by his wife, Lisa. Their newspaper, the Midley Beacon, is barely surviving now that the zombie turkey apocalypse is over. How will they make ends meet?

Lisa convinces Sam to try his hand at being a private investigator. Sam Melvin, zombie detective, does have a certain ring to it. All across the country people bring their zombie problems to Sam. Squirrels? Bulls? Sam’s on the case. And his rates keeps rising. But when he meets unkillable human zombie criminals, will he survive?

Sam finds out in a series of deadly adventures—and so will you in Zombie Detective. If you can keep from dying from laughter.

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Science Versus Science Fiction – Can Fiction Stay Ahead?

Science Fiction

Science Versus Science Fiction — Can science fiction authors even stay ahead of our rocketing science advances?

You ask, “Like what? What’s so hard about imagining a futuristic setting?”

How about this development?

In addition to announcing the world’s fastest computer for AI training, Tesla also presented a new self-driving application–autonomous, humanoid robots.

“But this is all just visionary stuff from Elon. It’s not here yet,” you respond.

Yup, not yet, but near. Just like SpaceX was a couple of years ago:

This is straight from 1950s science fiction. A rocket goes up in a plume of fire and lands on a rocket. And this video happened five years ago. This demonstrates Tesla and Elon Musk’s ability to bring his vision to reality.

Science Vs Science Fiction – Science Fiction Weighs In

How well is science fiction keeping ahead? Let’s start with a review I just wrote:

Science Versus Science Fiction book cover of Citizens
SciFi Book ‘Citizens’

I thought the anthology, ‘Citizens’ would be good, since it was military science fiction written by veterans. I also like John Ringo’s writing in general, and he has a story in here. But it exceeded my expectations.

Not only are there crackling good stories in this book, but it’s also a survey of great science fiction writers over the past seven decades. Arthur C. Clarke, Robert Heinlein, are here as well as Murray Leinster, Gene Wolfe, and Keith Laumer. Then there are some newer writers as well, veterans of the Iraq war with their unique takes on military scifi.

If you like military scifi, don’t miss this one.

Goodreads review by Andy Zach

How does this book stack up against current science? The science fiction is pretty well ahead.

Keith Laumer has a self-aware, highly motivated war robot.

Gene Wolfe and John Ringo explore extreme genetic modification for warfare.

David Freer has a light-hearted story about a postman who deflects an alien invasion.

Now, the more uncomfortable question: how am I, Andy Zach doing with my fiction versus the advances in science?

Zombie Detective‘s Science Fiction Versus Science

My next novel is Zombie Detective. Is it keeping ahead of science’s leaps?

Disclaimer: I set this novel in 2016 and I limited myself to science as I knew it then, plus a little more. What little more did I add?

Mostly, genetic engineering. That’s basically the cause of my zombieism, where rogue E Coli bacteria copy any tissue and replace it within minutes. I go into detail about how in my book, Zombie Turkeys.

Zombie Detective Excerpt for You

Getting back to Zombie Detective, I’m publishing it in September 2021. It begins like this:

“Sam, you’re fired.” Lisa’s green eyes met his brown ones. 

“What? Lisa, you and I have worked together at the Midley Beacon.  for ten years! And we’ve known each other for fifteen!   And we’ve been married almost two months!”  

“Sorry, Sam. Romance has to take a back seat to finances. Ever since the bottom dropped out of the zombie turkey news market since the first of the year, the Midley Beacon.  hasn’t made enough to pay your salary.”

“But that’s our salary. We share and share alike.”

“We can still live on my salary. And you can apply for unemployment, now that you’re fired.” 

“But what’ll I do all day? I can only play Fortnite for so long.”

“What did you do before I hired you, ten years ago? What did you do while I was in college?” Lisa’s brows furrowed.

“Uh, mow lawns. Handyman repair. Stuff like that. But I’m a grown man now. I want more.”

“Hmm, you are a decent reporter.”

“Thanks, Lisa. That’s high praise coming from you.”

“Well, it’s the truth. You’ve grown from a crappy reporter, like ninety-nine percent of all reporters, to well above average. I did lay off everyone else on the staff before you, you know.”

“Aw, you’re making me feel warm and mushy.”

“That’s part of good management, emotional manipulation.”

“Uh, you mean you don’t mean it?” Sam looked crestfallen.

“Nah, I mean it. Emotional manipulation is much more effective if you’re sincere.

From Zombie Detective

If you’ve read my books, why don’t you tell me how I’m doing keeping ahead of science? Contact me here or at andyzach@andyzach.net

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Writing Tips From John Grisham and Dashiell Hammett

Zombie Detective Science Versus Science Fiction

Writing Tips From John Grisham and Dashiell Hammett. I wish I could say they personally advised me, but no. I read these tips AFTER I had finished my seventh book.

I’ll give them to you anyway, along with free books. Look out below! Keep scrolling down.

8 Writing Tips from John Grisham

For all you people who never click, here are your 8 points:


1.   Do — Write A Page Every Day

That’s about 200 words, or 1,000 words a week. Do that for two years and you’ll have a novel that’s long enough. Nothing will happen until you are producing at least one page per day.

2.   Don’t — Write The First Scene Until You Know The Last

This necessitates the use of a dreaded device commonly called an outline. Virtually all writers hate that word. I have yet to meet one
who admits to using an outline.

Plotting takes careful planning. Writers waste years pursuing stories that eventually don’t work.

3.   Do — Write Your One Page Each Day At The Same Place And Time

Early morning, lunch break, on the train, late at night — it doesn’t matter. Find the extra hour, go to the same place, shut the door. No exceptions, no excuses.

4.   Don’t — Write A Prologue

Prologues are usually gimmicks to hook the reader. Avoid them. Plan your story (see No. 2) and start with Chapter 1.

5.   Do — Use Quotation Marks With Dialogue

Please do this. It’s rather basic.

6.   Don’t — Keep A Thesaurus Within Reaching Distance

I know, I know, there’s one at your fingertips.

There are three types of words: (1) words we know; (2) words we should know; (3) words nobody knows. Forget those in the third category and use restraint with those in the second.

A common mistake by fledgling authors is using jaw-breaking vocabulary. It’s frustrating and phoney.

7.   Do — Read Each Sentence At Least Three Times In Search Of Words To Cut

Most writers use too many words, and why not? We have unlimited space and few constraints.

8.   Don’t — Introduce 20 Characters In The First Chapter

Another rookie mistake. Your readers are eager to get started. Don’t bombard them with a barrage of names from four generations of the same family. Five names are enough to get started.

Take Time Out for Your Free Book Give Away

I give away two books every month to my newsletter subscribers. Also, you will get six free audiobooks, while supplies last. Finally, I also give free samples of my short stories from Oops!, my short story collection.

Writing Tips Oops! Cover
Oops! Cover. Click to listen

To get your six free audiobooks, plus a free copy of Zombie Turkeys Kindle edition, click here.

Writing Tips From Dashielle Hammett – Your First 12

The 24 rules follow:

  1. There was an automatic revolver, the Webley-Fosbery, made in England some years ago. The ordinary automatic pistol, however, is not a revolver. A pistol, to be a revolver, must have something on it that revolves.
  2. The Colt’s .45 automatic pistol has no chambers. The cartridges are put in a magazine.
  3. A silencer may be attached to a revolver, but the effect will be altogether negligible. I have never seen a silencer used on an automatic pistol, but am told it would still make quite a bit of noise. “Silencer” is a rather optimistic name for this device which has generally fallen into disuse.
  4. When a bullet from a Colt’s .45, or any firearm of approximately the same size and power, hits you, even if not in a fatal spot, it usually knocks you over. It is quite upsetting at any reasonable range.
  5. A shot or stab wound is simply felt as a blow or push at first. It is some little time before any burning or other painful sensation begins.
  6. When you are knocked unconscious you do not feel the blow that does it.
  7. A wound made after death of the wounded is usually recognizable as such.
  8. Fingerprints of any value to the police are seldom found on anybody’s skin.
  9. The pupils of many drug addicts’ eyes are apparently normal.
  10. It is impossible to see anything by the flash of an ordinary gun, though it is easy to imagine you have seen things.
  11. Not nearly so much can be seen by moonlight as you imagine. This is especially true of colours.
  12. All Federal snoopers are not members of the Secret Service. That branch is chiefly occupied with pursuing counterfeiters and guarding Presidents and prominent visitors to our shores.

12 More Hammett Writing Tips Underneath

  1. A sheriff is a county officer who usually has no official connection with city, town or state police.
  2. Federal prisoners convicted in Washington, D.C., are usually sent to the Atlanta prison and not to Leavenworth.
  3. The California State prison at San Quentin is used for convicts serving first terms. Two-time losers are usually sent to Folsom.
  4. Ventriloquists do not actually “throw” their voices and such doubtful illusions as they manage depend on their gestures. Nothing at all could be done by a ventriloquist standing behind his audience.
  5. Even detectives who drop their final g’s should not be made to say “anythin’” an oddity that calls for vocal acrobatics.
  6. “Youse” is the plural of “you”.
  7. A trained detective shadowing a subject does not ordinarily leap from doorway to doorway and does not hide behind trees and poles. He knows no harm is done if the subject sees him now and then.
  8. The current practice in most places in the United States is to make the coroner’s inquest an empty formality in which nothing much is brought out except that somebody has died.
  9. Fingerprints are fragile affairs. Wrapping a pistol or other small object up in a handkerchief is much more likely to obliterate than to preserve any prints it may have.
  10. When an automatic pistol is fired the empty cartridge shell flies out the right-hand side. The empty cartridge case remains in a revolver until ejected by hand.
  11. A lawyer cannot impeach his own witness.
  12. The length of time a corpse has been a corpse can be approximated by an experienced physician, but only approximated, and the longer it has been a corpse, the less accurate the approximation is likely to be.

Did you know any of these Writing Tips?

Did You Know I Have a Dectective Novel Coming Out?

Oddly, next month I’ll publish my own detective novel, my first. After I wrote it, I read the Hammett suggestions.

You can get YOUR autographed copy by clicking here. I will ship my preorders to everyone with FREE SHIPPING before the book comes out on Amazon.

You can also order the book by simply writing to me. Click here.

This book fits in between my first book Zombie Turkeys and my second, My Undead Mother-in-law.

2021 Reviews
Audiobook cover – click to listen.

I keep a timeline of each of my books, so I know exactly how much time is in between Zombie Turkeys and My Undead Mother-in-law. Just enough time to place a whole detective novel.

Zombie Detective runs from January 2016 to February 2016. I pack a lot in there that six weeks time period.

Zombie Turkeys goes from November 2015 to December 31st, 2015.

And My Undead Mother-in-law?

SciFi Story Fuel My Undead Mother-in-law
My Undead Mother-in-law cover. Click to get yours.

My Undead Mother-in-law runs from February 14th to October 31st, 2017.