Posted on

Get Your Zombie Turkeys Laughter Right Here!

Zombie Turkeys Chapter 11 Icon

Get Your Zombie Turkeys Laughter Right Here!

Okay, it’s been a while since I gave away Zombie Turkeys excerpts: today’s your lucky day! Get Your Zombie Turkeys Laughter Right Here!

Get Your Zombie Turkeys Laughter
Zombie Turkeys front cover. Click to get a copy!

Wait–But Why Get Your Zombie Turkeys Laughter?

Mr. or Ms. Skeptic wants to know–why will I laugh? Will you believe another person, not me?

Check out this review by someone I’ve never met:

Zombie Turkeys?? Yup you heard it right. “Gobble Gobble”.

Okay, so it is pretty much the same formula and tropes that we’ve seen before. Science experiment gone wrong, and it causes humans/animals to go rabid and tear apart everything. Amidst all that we have everyday individuals caught in the zombie wave, fighting and holding on to dear life, and the strife brings together people from different walks of life and bonds them together. New alliances are formed, camaraderie and sportsmanship (literally) are bought to the forefront. We find out that the world is indeed a great place and people are essentially good.

Now in this novel it’s turkeys that underwent zombification. Don’t know why Andy choose Turkeys, then again, why the hell not?? Now, read everything in the previous paragraph as a satire or with a comedic tone and you get a novel that is a laughter riot from start to finish. If you take this novel seriously then seriously there is something wrong with you. I’m sure of one thing, Andy must have really enjoyed writing this one, cause I really enjoyed reading it.

Plot Summary:

So there is a turkey infection outbreak across the United States. The result is that the turkeys kind of become like Wolverine, you can cut or shoot or slash or skewer but like good old Wolvie, the turkeys heal themselves and keep on marching. Hell, turkeys kept inside freezers come back to life and start growing feathers and other accessories. They peck to death humans and other predators, overwhelming them by sheer numbers. If this were a movie I would put this in the posters –

“The last thing you hear before being pecked to death is Gobble Gobble “

Anyway back to the plot, as always we need a hero and that role is done by Sam Melvin reporter for a local newspaper. He is the first one to report the zombie turkey attacks and thus the popularity of their newspaper skyrockets. His boss, Lisa who used to see him as an underachiever falls for him and they develop a relationship. They capitalize on the whole outbreak scenario and provide reports and videos of turkey attacks, people who survived the attacks and other info, on how to fight the turkeys and what precautions need to be taken.

I was hooked on to the stadium scene where a flock of more than 100,000 turkeys descended to the field while a football match was in progress. This was by far the funniest and most interesting of all the zombie battles. Fans from both teams and the players started chopping up turkeys and singing the Thanksgiving song.

Bonus: The Obamas show up in the novel. If that doesn’t pique your interest I don’t know what will.

By the end of the novel it is implied that the experiment that caused the turkeys to go zombie mode had impacted other animals as well – squirrels, rabbits, bulls and finally humans – technically actual zombies. Hooray!! Which also explains the title – “Life after Life Chronicles Part 1″. What I liked about the novel apart from the comedic aspects is Andy’s writing that sometimes makes us wonder if we are actually reading a satirical novel. As ludicrous as it seems, occasionally we are left to seek out the humor as, when people die by turkeys (Lol) the description takes on a serious tone. Don’t worry, it isn’t that depressing, the humor marches it’s way back in, in the next line or paragraph.

So we have sequels to this and part 2 of the series is called – “My Undead Mother-in-law“.

I wish all the very best for Andy and his zombie horde of characters. Keep writing!!

Get Your Zombie Turkeys Laughter – Right Now!

With no further ado, here’s your first excerpt:

Do You Want More Zombie Turkeys Laughter? Have Another Excerpt

Just when you think it can’t get better, here’s more.

Do You Want More Free Zombie Turkeys Laughter?

Zombie Turkeys Laughter
Andy Zach’s three novels in his Life After Life Chronicles, the comic paranormal animal zombie saga. Click to get.

I thought you’d never ask! Here’s how to get free Zombie Turkeys books every month. Click on my page here and subscribe to my newsletter. I pick TWO lucky winners every more by random selection by my pet phoenix. One person wins a free book of their choice: Zombie Turkeys, My Undead Mother-in-law, or Paranormal Privateers in ebook or print book format. The other person wins a free audiobook. Check out the free audiobook sample here.

Zombie Turkeys Laughter
Zombie Turkeys audiobook cover. Click to get!

That’s it for now! Give me some reviews and feedback in the comments section, or send me an email.

Andy Zach

Andy Zach Wins NaNoMo
Andy Zach contemplates his next novel.

 

Posted on

Andy Zach Cruises the Internet and Gives Stuff Away

Christmas Zombie Turkey Style

Andy Zach Cruises the Internet and Gives Stuff Away

This is one of those posts where you will laugh and get free stuff. How? Andy Zach Cruises the Internet–that’s how I find funny stuff.

But what about the free stuff? I’m in touch with a lot of authors and I find free stuff on the internet. Let’s start with the funny things.

Andy Zach Cruises the Internet–the First Funny

How about Thor: Rangarok set to ABBA’s ‘Dancing Queen’?

If this isn’t funny enough for you, post something funnier in this blog’s comments or send it to me. I’ll give a free ebook to the funniest link I get.

Andy Zach Cruises the Internet–the First Freebie

How about a free newsletter from me? How about a free book? I’ve got these:

Andy Zach cruises the Internet
Andy Zach’s three novels in his Life After Life Chronicles, the comic paranormal animal zombie saga.

I hold one drawing every month for my newsletter subscribers. Join now!

Your Next Funny

Did you like Thor: Rogarnok set to ABBA? How about Captain America Winter Soldier?

Your Next Freebie

Okay, maybe you don’t like books. How about audiobooks?

Listen to a free sample of Zombie Turkeys by clicking here:

Andy Zach cruises
Zombie Turkeys audiobook cover. Click to get!

Or listen to My Undead Mother-in-law here:

 

Andy Zach Cruises

My Undead Mother-in-law audiobook cover. Click to get yours!

If the vocal actors Phil Blechman and Raven Perez portraying my wacky characters appeal to you, then get on the newsletter mailing list. I have a monthly drawing for a free audiobook, including the end of this month.

The Last Funny Bit

The Last Freebie

One of my author friends, Rik Ty is giving away free stories. Grab yours while you can!

Click here to get them!

And now, here’s some free nostalgia:

One More Thing

I love Weird Al Yankovic! Who else can out bizarre Lady Gaga?

Posted on

Get 3 Great Writing Tips from Author Andy Zach

Get 3 Great Writing Tips

Get 3 Great Writing Tips from Zombie Turkeys Author Andy Zach

Do you want to Get 3 Great Writing Tips from Zombie Turkeys Author Andy Zach? They’re coming!  But first, have a laugh, courtesy of Andy’s favorite, Weird Al Yankovich!

Get 3 Great Writing Tips – Your First Tip

Have you heard of the Three Act Story Structure? How about the nine plot points? It’s foundational to most movies and plays and books. First invented by Aristotle, this article delves into it:

There are many variations on this theme, but if you think about it, every story has a beginning, middle, and end. Your story usually climaxes after the middle, or at the end of the second act of the play, and then the results of the action happen.

Intermission in Get 3 Great Writing Tips

Will we be dominated by robots in the future? Comment on this post or drop me a line, after watching this video.

And now on to the next tip.

Get 3 Great Writing Tips – Your Second Tip

Now you’ve got some idea about story structure, tell me about your favorite characters. Tell me about either characters you’ve created or your favorite fictional characters of all time. Then tell me what motivated them. Character motivation is what the next tip is all about.

Next, a Squirrel of a Different Color

Get 3 Great Writing Tips
A malabar squirrel from India. Truly a squirrel of a different color. Links to another squirrel.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Get 3 Great Writing Tips – The Third and Final Tip

I thought about telling you more about plotting, like my previous post teaching plotting, or my second lesson about plotting. I found the next article is even better, revealing another technique. Have you ever used tension between characters to create interest in a story? Read all about how to do that. Let me know what you think of it!

Your Final Bit of Fun

I hope you’re a thrill lover! Here comes the thrill of your life, via this next video.

If you like my blog and don’t want to miss any posts, subscribe here! You’ll also get a free story.

If you’re already a newsletter subscriber, share with your friends. For each new subscriber you get, send me their email address and I’ll give you an extra chance to win a free book in my two monthly drawings.

My next free book drawing is September 2nd!

Get 3 Great Writing Tips

Andy Zach’s three novels in his Life After Life Chronicles, the comic paranormal animal zombie saga. Click to get one or all.